I'm a freak in disguise. Wanna take off my mask?
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
It's not paranoia, if monsters really are in your closet
of 23 votes, 39% like it
|
Let's all wish upon a burning rock.... Yea that makes TOTAL sense
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Are you gay?.. Cuz you look gay
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
You're making my eyes burn!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
My major is baby mama drama
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Macworld is my homepage
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Is my hair OK?
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
My girlfriend is a temp
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
|
My boyfriend is a temp
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
Theoretically speaking? You suck
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
OCD is backwards. The "C" comes first.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I thought I was wrong once, turns out I was mistaken
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
That's totally what I meant...except it isn't.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
I'm like a hurricane, but...not.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm kind of random with my randomness
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
Sooooooo what do YOU drive?
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
I threw some D's on dat b!tch
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I heard about you
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
I make more in a night than you do in a month
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Oh yeah?!? Well. Well...your mama!
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I can fix that for you.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
How long have you had that problem?
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
Your husband hired me.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
How is your wife and my kids?
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
Your wife hired me.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
No, these aren't knobs. I'm cold.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
|
What were we talking about?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
WTF are you?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
WTF is you?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
What the Hell is wrong with you?
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Were you dropped on your head as a kid?
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Sarcasm is just me saying you're a dumbass
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
My life story is full of plot holes
of 19 votes, 47% like it
|
You're all kinds of ass backwards
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Currently undercover
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Yeah, let me know how that works out.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
So how's that working out for ya?
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
Please hate on me. Haven't hit my quota for the month.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Doesn't really taste like chicken.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
They say confidence is key. Yeah, doesn't really apply to you
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
Jealousy is a state of mind
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Dang! You can't take a joke?!?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Hate is a state of mind
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
Love is a state of mind
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Pain is all in your mind...wait that's probably a migraine
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
Pain is just a state of mind
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I'm over it
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Working Girl
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
My life story has to be shown in IMAX
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
Just a minute. I'm not drunk yet.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
|
|
There is no app for what you've got
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
I'm currently in Beast Mode
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I was born to raise Hell
of 21 votes, 38% like it
|
|
My life is perfect. Come on, just look at me
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
Why are you just standing there?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
Imitation is the greatest form of sincere flattery
of 29 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'm not talking fast. You're just listening slow
of 27 votes, 37% like it
|
Would I lie to you?... Ok, maybe that was a stupid question
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
Free? I'll be reasonable. Screw that free crap
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm the school MILF
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
::For Hire::
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
Try me again after I've had a few shots
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Cucumbers are not for eating
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I will do things to you that you're afraid to ask for
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
You're like..... Forrest Gump smart
of 22 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I don't come with instructions.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
I got it. You'll love it
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
This shirt is probably a size too small, huh?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
|
No extra sugar added
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
I'd like to thank my parents for being attractive
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I'm THAT abomination
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Myspace: My anti social
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
{Front}: now you see me. {Back:} now you don't
of 18 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I don't spend countless hours online. I can count just fine
of 19 votes, 42% like it
|
Whoa whoa whoa! Why are you talking to me, again?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
Been there. Done that. This is the tee shirt
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
|
You should see my online stats!
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
My perfect date involves video controllers... and BEER!
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I only date guys who read comic books
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I got it bad, so I need you to give it to me good
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
You should see what I have written on my panties
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
You should see what I have written on my boxers
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Handcuffs? Sure, but not around my wrists, OK?
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
You got P'wnd
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
I say we just start breaking things
of 20 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Ewww you look dead!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
Im very "bendy".. I'm just sayin
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Hell YES whips and chains excite me
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
|
No means I want you to MAKE me do it
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
WTF were you thinking when you put THAT on?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
Sarcasm is a foreign language to you huh?
of 24 votes, 42% like it
|
|
I make cute babies. In theory...I don't have any. Promise.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
I'm not a hater, I just have high standards.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
I heart PAWGs
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Just because you laughed, doesn't mean it was funny
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
What's my major? Drama.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
Studio Gangsta
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
|
OMG INBD
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
OMG!... WTF??
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
A Jager Bomb just went off in my stomach
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I'm gonna need you to stop staring at my chest. Cool? Cool.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
Where do vegans meet?
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
I don't JUST have a porn 'stache. Feel me?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Hey, who planned your pity party? They're GOOD.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
Couldn't think of anything funny to say
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
My other shirt is an Ed Hardy
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
It's the 'stache, right? Chicks love the 'stache.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
No habla douchebag
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Objects under this shirt are much softer than they appear
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
|
My swag is phenomenal
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
Nerds do it better. We all know what "it" means.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
|
You can stop drooling now. No, seriously.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
|
If you want my number just ask for it, silly
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I'm a spicy chick
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
I'm Awesome. You're not. HA!!
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'm always right. even when I'm wrong.... I'm right
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I know I'm strange. But what are you
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm not useless. I can be used as a bad example
of 26 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I tried being normal. I didn't like it
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
I didn't lose my mind. It's at home right next to my common sense
of 24 votes, 38% like it
|
text king
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I was NOT aware the bird was the word
of 23 votes, 35% like it
|
Irish temper. You've been warned
of 22 votes, 55% like it
|
You're wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Me? Sarcastic? Noooooo
of 25 votes, 36% like it
|
Do not mistake my kindness for weakness
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
I have blond moments
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Alcohol makes things suck less
of 21 votes, 48% like it
|
I don't need sex. Life screws me whenever it can.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
I've done my one good deed for the day so try again tomorrow
of 28 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I'm haunted by the things I did for a Klondike bar
of 29 votes, 41% like it
|
Dude!!.. You need a Tic Tac
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
If the Lord rested on the 7th day why are we resting on the 1st?
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
|
...That doesn't even sound attractive
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
Maybe if you tried a little harder?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
I'm not into you at all!
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I'm not mean. I just don't like you
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
I want shrimp
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
It's like the same thing...only not
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Yeah, I know right?
of 17 votes, 41% like it
|
Sorry. I'm expensive.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
Umm...that's not gonna fit
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
It's not a competition if I always win
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
Forget what you ask me, I'll tell you what I want you to know
of 18 votes, 56% like it
|
Will I respect you in the morning? No, but I'll bang you again
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
|
My girl loves my brownies...that's not a euphemism
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
Baby daddy drama? I have an app for that
of 17 votes, 41% like it
|
Baby mama drama? I have an app for that
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Laughing at your own jokes makes them even less funny
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Ahhhh hell YOU'RE here
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
They're boobs. Any further questions?
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I see dumb people. They're everywhere
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
I am too tall to be called "shawty"
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Ha!!! Made ya look
of 23 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Not I said the little brown cow
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
Real women have tattoos
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
There went that idea
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Let's keep it moving people
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I have a twisted sense of humor. Deal with it
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
12 steps don't work for me. I get drunk and fall after 2
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Check my MySpace
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Let's go commando
of 17 votes, 47% like it
|
No I do NOT use dental floss as underwear
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
::Not Patient::
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Patience is not a virtue of mine
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
That's all you right there
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I play with at least 2 at a time
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
Screw the gym. I workout in bed
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
Wanted: Rich/diesel mechanic woman with beer franchise
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
www.idontgiveafuk.com
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
I got your skill set mofo!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
Life is a beach.. and then you wake up to a hurricane
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Bra size is overrated when you don't wear one.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
I'm actually not sure how I got into these jeans.
of 18 votes, 50% like it
|
I play with rubber toys.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Yeah. There's an app for this.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
|
My brain farts smell like licorice.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
You're wronger than two right shoes.
of 18 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Actually, I do think you like the sound of your voice.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
My eyes are up here. Up. Here.
of 19 votes, 42% like it
|
I wouldn't wear it either.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I like it raw.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
Yeah. Umm...you're fired.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
Wait. Where is it supposed to go again?
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Let's go half on a baby
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Now hiring: Out of work pornstars
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
Out of work pornstar
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Your swag is almost as big as mine
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
Hi!!! Moron.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
You're obviously an idiot.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Screw you! That ish was funny
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
There are NO buttons as cute as me."
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
No, not in the face."
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Actually, your butt looks GIGANTIC in those jeans."
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Impressive, isn't it?"
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
Can't do this by myself. There's no "I" in drunk."
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I make this shirt look better than it really is."
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
You're cute, but...no."
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
I love PINK
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
|
OMFG!! I love that
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
You can be my new favorite food!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
What the hell Ever
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
1+1=2 as well as infinitely many's
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Ok.. I'm at peace with that
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm cool AND have whips.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
|
WTF is your deal?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
You wouldn't believe me if I told you
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Be-a-itch
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Sorry for ya
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
Make ME your college major
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
They offer online courses about me
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Besitos!!
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
Just wait until my rich uncle gets out the poor house!!!
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
Drugs my anti... Oh wait
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Oh the things I would do to you
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
Itty bitty baby committee
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I have a trick up each of my sleeves
of 18 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Insert witty comment here___
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
My man works at Sonic and brings me good stuff... Like tater tots
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
I could do that. I just choose not to
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
|
I'm not black I just tan VERY well
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm not white... I'm light skinned
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Duck, Duck, Duck.. HAUL ASS!!!!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Say that again please? I like watching your lips move
of 11 votes, 45% like it
|
Show me your magic trick!! Disappear.
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
Pull your pants up
of 11 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I swallow.. I'm just sayin
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Do what huh?
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
Ebonics is NOT taught in English class
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Buy that for me
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
Look up!!
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
WTF is a Goon??
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Voice mail Thug
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
Yield. That means go slow
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
>:\ Grrrr <--- That's my mean face
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I need a happy pill
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I need a happy people
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I am NOT always on the computer. I sleep an hour a day!!
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I'm on that gangsta sh**
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
Real talk!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
My drinks have umbrellas
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
My favorite color is florescent clear
of 16 votes, 44% like it
|
Promise to pull my hair first?
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
The reader of the shirt owes the wearer 5$
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Where'd you come from?!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
I've got videos to prove it!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
You're grossing me out
of 16 votes, 38% like it
|
|
You're cuttin into my drinking time!
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
Look nice don't they?
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
So you're a chest man?
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Drunk text me!
of 14 votes, 43% like it
|
Ok. so I KIND of like you
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
The butcher? The baker? I want the candlestick maker!!!
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Silly boy. I don't need you. I can buy you in stores
of 11 votes, 55% like it
|
OH LOOOK!!! A yard sale
of 10 votes, 50% like it
|
Bought this shirt at the thrift store
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
|
You me feel all loved an stuff!
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
Bout this shirt at the thrift store. Don't hate
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
What you looking at ME for I didn't do it!
of 10 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Hot sauce makes everything great
of 11 votes, 55% like it
|
That's just not smart dude
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
You know they make stuff for that right?
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Twitter definition:
STALKING
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
You're invading my 3 feet of personal space. Step. Away.
of 11 votes, 55% like it
|
Check this Twit out
of 11 votes, 45% like it
|
|
No Twit!
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
I am absolutely, positively.. OVER THIS CRAP!!!
of 9 votes, 67% like it
|
My iPhone can kick your phone's ASS!
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I will only hurt a little
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
My IQ is higher than yours
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
Blond by bottle. Not by birth
of 15 votes, 47% like it
|
|
THAT costs extra
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
Well I knew THAT
of 10 votes, 40% like it
|
Yea, you're pretty. Pretty ugly and pretty apt to stay that way!
of 11 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Idk hell. Stop asking me!!
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
You're not a loser your "winningly" challenged <3
of 10 votes, 40% like it
|
I only vote on T-shirt slogans!
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Fuller than a tick in a blood bank!
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
Wanna see what's inside?
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
Ok so what had happened was...
of 10 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I'll stop tomorrow
of 10 votes, 40% like it
|
My cigs have seen better days
of 11 votes, 36% like it
|
I'm sorry, what??
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
|
There's HOW many zero's in your bank account?!
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
No the carpet DOESN'T match the drapes.. I have tile :)
of 9 votes, 44% like it
|
Sure... for 5$
of 10 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Jager makes this shirt come off
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
Palmetto bugs? Screw you! They fly!
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
Hoes are retarded
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
|
Wuuuuuurd?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
You know what? I AM unbelievable!!!
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
I WANT that
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
|
You're such a dork
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
Yeah... That's kind of a problem
of 12 votes, 50% like it
|
Like seriously. Go. Away.
of 14 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Really? Corduoroy? Seriously?
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
What the frickin hell?!
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
Me?? Noooooo NEVER!!!!... Oh wait... yeah :)
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Yea... NO
of 15 votes, 40% like it
|
I gotz soul flava
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm so down!!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Yeah.... Bout that
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
Shots? Yaayaah!!!!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.. WTF does THAT mean??
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I'm doing everything YOU wouldn't do
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
Call me anytime!!! 555-1212
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I don't mean that in an ass way
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Bitch isn't a dog. It's a state of mind
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
