(airplane) Fragile. Do not drop
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
...they predicted the 21st century all wrong
of 25 votes, 8% like it
|
1% of psychics can really tell what I'm thinking.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
|
10 out of 10 people die..
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
5 out of 5 people agree that they always disagree..
of 7 votes, 0% like it
|
97.6% of humans say living is worth the cost
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
a penny saved is just 1¢
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
A seashore is a terrible place to sell seashells.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
|
abbreviation is such a hypocrite
of 7 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Actions speak louder den words, tell the deaf 2 stop all da noise
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
Actions yell while words whisper..
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
all people are unique.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
|
|
America is just a country full of immigrants.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
anti-nudest
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
Atheism is a non-profit organization.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
|
bear hugs are often fatal
of 0 votes, 0% like it
|
Beer makes you smart. It made Bud wiser.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
Being an organ donor is like re-wrapping a gift.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
|
being creative is simple. just hide your sources.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Being smart is easy as 3.14159265....
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
bittersweet (n.) - marriage
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Blind people can see the darkness.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
|
blondes aint stupid they just hav a overwhelming sense of sarcasm
of 12 votes, 0% like it
|
blondes have faith in fools. they call it self-confidence.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
books are so last generation.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Brainstorming(side effects may include electrocution)
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
Broke is my name, stock market was my game..
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
canibalism is wen a guy go in a restaurant and orders the waiter
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
cannibals have food fights all the time.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
|
cars now have internet in them. And u think you've got high speed
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
|
CAUTION: Blonde Thinking
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
chickens can run up to 10 mph. talk about fast food.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
clear conscious is a fancy word for bad memory.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
|
cliches are for blondes
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
clothes. keeping you covered since 1 B.C.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Deep down you're pretty superficial
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
don't take life serious. you won't get out alive anyway.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
|
eskimos get disease called polaroid from sittin on da ice 2 long
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
|
every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
every knee shall bow
of 15 votes, 0% like it
|
everyday is a food fight when you're a cannibal.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
everyone is unique
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
experience - what people call their mistakes
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Food. Keeping us alive since 1 B.C.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
|
French fries are American
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
Fruits create a multitude of jams.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
fun is pretty expensive
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
geometry is easy as pi
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
Gimme got shot
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
global warming is just mother earth going through menopause..
of 6 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Glue. Dominating tape since paper mâché.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
Go somewhere and kick the bucket.
of 23 votes, 0% like it
|
Grammarians are very punctual
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Half the people in this world are below average
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Hamburgers aren't ham at all
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
hamburgers come from cows not pigs.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
|
he who laughs last didn't really understand the joke.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
Hip Hop ain't dead, it just needes a hip replacement.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Honestly, I'm a pretty big liar.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
honeymoons have craters
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
honeymoons often revolve around beehives
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
|
How come violets are blue instead of violet?
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
how is this a democracy when congress votes on everything?
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
How much you want to bet that I don't gamble?
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
|
humans are the only creatured who let their kids come back home
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
humans are the only creatures who let their kids come back home
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Humans are the only ones who let their kids come back home.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Humans are the only ones who let their kids come home.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
i am knot a blonde
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
I couldn't remember how 2 throw a boomerang but it came back 2 me
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I do EXACTLY as my father did. He didnt imitate and I dont either
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
I don't suffer from insanity.In fact, I enjoy every minute of it.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
i dont believe in sleep.you'll get enough wen you die so stay up.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I don\'t dislike you, I nothing you.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
I forgot how to work a boomerang but it came back to me
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
I had a photographic memory that was never developed
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I HATE ABBR.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
i have never seen a blue moon.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
i live for a living
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I miss the days when it was mandatory to take naps in class.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
I miss the good old days when we all took naps in class.
of 9 votes, 56% like it
|
i miss the good ole days when we all took naps in class.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I miss the old days when it was okay to sleep in class.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
I practice my first impressions on people daily
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
i started an investigation to find out how inquisitive ppl can be
of 7 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I stink at fractions. I'm not half as good as others in the class
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
i support da right 2 bare arms,2 bad dis shirt has sleeves though
of 7 votes, 0% like it
|
i wish i culd kill the cutest human alive but that wuld b suicide
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I would EXPECT a stereotype to do something like that.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
|
I'll tell you the meaning of procrastination later on.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
I'm gonna out live you if it kills me.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I'm hotter than papa bears porrige.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
I'm not stupid, I just have an overwelming sense of sarcasm.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm not young enough to know everything
of 10 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I'm rare like Mr. Clean with hair.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm scared of lions, tigers, and bears.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
I'm the best thing since Shoe met String.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
ice cream is so much better frozen.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
Idiots use oxymorons
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
if Bad means Good then you're AWESOME
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
if bad means good then you're AWESOME.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
if i had a dime 4 evry dirty politician i could end the recession
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
If I was invisible you wouldn't be reading this shirt
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
|
If less is more then I'm rich.
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
If money didn't grow on trees banks wouldn't have branches.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
|
if money is power the goverment is gaining less n less control
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
|
if nothing is impossible try slamming a revokving door..
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
if this is a democracy how come congress votes on everything?
of 0 votes, 0% like it
|
if u die in an elavator press the Up button
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
|
If you come across a bucket, don't kick it.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
if you look at my shirt, you won't notice the heart on my sleeve.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
if you're one in a million, there are 6,772 people just like you.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
|
If you're reading this you're about to get slapped.(tiny)
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
If your parents never had children, i doubt you will
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
if youre 1 in a million there are over 50,000 people just like u
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
im gonna out live you if it kills me
of 9 votes, 33% like it
|
im naked all the time. after about 20 minutes i dry myself off
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Im not an idiot, I'm just being sarcastic over 90% of the time.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
im not stupid, it's just my sense of sarcasm is overwhelming.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
|
in the old times kicking somebody's donkey was very offensive.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
it aint easy bein
cheesy
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
|
it's the sun's job to keep the earth warm, not mine.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
it's time for you to get a watch
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
jokes are for clowns. sarcasm is for the much less talented.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Just passin through, if you see anything you like speak up.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
Keep an open mind. Side effects may include: brain falling out.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
Last one hired is the first one fired.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
lend me your ear vincent van gogh
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Let's all recycle and warmup the earth
of 12 votes, 0% like it
|
life - regardless of the cost it's still popular
of 1 votes, 0% like it
|
|
life - regardless of the cost people have still been using it.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
life -regardless of the cost people are still wiiling to pay 4 it
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
Life is a stickup and nobody is getting out alive.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
|
life is good, death is peaceful. its the transition thats a prob.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
Life's like a box of chocolates.But its hot outside so it melted.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
lifes like chess, afta the game the king n pawn go in da same box
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Litering is such a bad word, i call it donating to the earth.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
live to die another day
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
Love can't die but it can kill you..
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
|
love is grand. divorce cost twice a much.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
Marriage = the thin line between love and hate.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
medusa should've been more head strong.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
most barbers cut themselves
of 7 votes, 0% like it
|
mother earth is having a mid-life crisis thats all..
of 6 votes, 33% like it
|
My friend did that and woke up dead.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
|
My group didn't make the improv show because we didnt rehearse.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
My life is like a box of chocolates on a hot summer day.
of 14 votes, 43% like it
|
My life is like a box of chocolates on a hot summer day.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
|
my pc said press any key to continue but i cant find the any key.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
my pc said press any key to continue but i cant fund the any key.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
|
my road to stardom is just under construction at the moment
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
my swag is 360
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
my teacher told me to be an aggressive learner so i hit the books
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
NASCAR is just the exciting version of traffic.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
|
NASCAR, the exciting version of traffic.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
nerds eat apple Pi.
of 16 votes, 50% like it
|
nerds prefer to eat apple Pi.
of 8 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Never invest in funerals, it's a dying industry.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
night is during dark not after it.
of 7 votes, 0% like it
|
night time isn't AFTER dark at all
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
|
no matter what you do you're always gonna be under the weather.
of 9 votes, 33% like it
|
No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
no one is free. even you are a prosoner of life.
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Nobody comes out of life alive.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
OCD is next
To godliness.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
Of course. You of all people would think I'm a stereotype.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Oh Em Gee, dude.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
Once you go Black you never go back. Unless youre Michael Jackson
of 8 votes, 25% like it
|
opposites attract. that explains why you're so close.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
|
|
people who are naive dont know it
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
psychics aren't even good enough to win the lottery
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
Psychology taught me how to think
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Sarcasm hides stupidity.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
Sarcasm is just an excuse for one acting stupid..
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
sarcasm was derived from underestimating human stupidity.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
School Is 4 people who have nothing better to do with their life
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
school is for fools........who eventually get smarter.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
school was better when we got to sleep
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
|
She completes me
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
Shirt = $10
pants = $15
bad attempt at humor = priceless
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
shirt=$5
pants=$15
joke of me comparin stuff dat cost=priceless
of 11 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Skyscrapers..scrapeme some sky
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
sour cream has already expired.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
Stop being lazy and go catch some Zz's
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Stop being lazy and go catch some Zzz's
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
stop making the world cold. Recycle.
of 11 votes, 0% like it
|
Supermodels! To the rescue!
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
technically everybody's unique
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
technically we're all under the weather.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
Television for teenagers is just plain TV
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
the creator of the doorknocker should win the no-bell peace prize
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
The creators of the Jetsons predicted the future all wrong.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
The government wants us to hold justice but they handed us none.
of 22 votes, 0% like it
|
|
The Jetsons predicted the future totally wrong
of 25 votes, 36% like it
|
the more friends u have on FB da less friends u have in real life
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
The quickest way to a womans heart, is through her chest.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
|
the secret to being a creative person is hiding all your sources
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
the word abbreviation is such a hypocrite
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
The world doesn't revolve around me, it orbits,
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
The worst time to have a heart attack is durin a game of charades
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
theory is stuff that science added enough big words to explain.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
Theres nothin more random than supercalifragilisticexpealadocious
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Theyre giving away free money at this place called a job..
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
time flies if you throw a clock out the window
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
tomatoe is definately a fruit
of 16 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Traffic jams are too salty for me to eat.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
|
Two wrongs don\'t make a right but three rights make a left.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
u cant tell me money dont grow on trees when banks have branches
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
usually a chicken with it's head cut off isn't running.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
We should be flying hover cars by now.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
we should have hover cars by now
of 29 votes, 17% like it
|
|
We should so be driving hover cars by now.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
we should so have flying cars by now
of 9 votes, 0% like it
|
We're @ the top of the food chain but lions didnt get the memo.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
what happened to the time when it was Ok take naps in class
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
What part of
A=2~[a•bc9/ab]
Dont you understand?
of 12 votes, 42% like it
|
What part of aerodynamic advanced physics don't you understand?
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
|
what's wrong with saying my knee grows?
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
whats the point of thinking bout the future, it comes soon enough
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
when doing improvisation don't give up,practice makes perfect
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
|
when i finally met Ms Right i had no idea her 1st name was always
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
when writing a long paper think of what Webster had to do.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
where is the chase and how do i cut to it.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
|
why em ce ay
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
Why would people steal babies when they're so easy to make
of 12 votes, 33% like it
|
why would people steal babies when they're so fun to make?
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Yeah...Paper Covers Rock
of 12 votes, 0% like it
|
Yeah...Rock covers Paper
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
yes you're unique. just like everybody else
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
|
You can't spell unique without supercalifragilisticexpealadocious
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
you cant hug your kids with nuclear arms
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
You reading my shirt is making me self-concious.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
|
you say the glass is half full. I say, are you gonna drink that?&
of 5 votes, 0% like it
|
You should believe me when I say that I'm a liar..
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
Zombies are constipated
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
