Hair. The only real thing that grows on you.
of 19 votes, 0% like it
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Tnogue Tiwster Taem 85'.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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I'll take you to beyond when infinity isn't enough.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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To bee, or not to bee.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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If you think I'm cool. Wait till you meet my slow-mo version.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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If you moose, you loose.
of 20 votes, 0% like it
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OMG when you LOL at the WTF.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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Id' wear you.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Minus 45 characters.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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I DIG YOU like an archaeologist would.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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My bathroom only flushes royally.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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My bacon n' eggs beats your pork n' beans.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Ninjalicious.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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I am the unedited version of myself.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I prefer to spell b's rather than z's when asleep.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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That is so punk rock.
of 11 votes, 36% like it
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Mustard, the other Ketchup.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Back from the basics.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Doing the twist is way better than doing the robot.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
Surviving in the wild should be easy for someone named Bear.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
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Spring. Making us horny since beggining of time.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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I'll bet my Squid dish on this Quidditch match.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
F.A.R.T. Funny Anal Random Treats.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
Do The Moonwalk.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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If you think I'm cool, wait till you meet my B-Side.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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I don't use floors, I'm a Skywalker.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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Let us eat lettuce.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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aNnOyIng
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Multi-Tusking is for Mammoths.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
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I'll donate my organs only to musicians.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
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Look cool. Play some air guitar.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
What's the matter, cat thought your tongue was cheese?
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
Samurais are like ninjas but squared.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
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My kids are so creative. I feed them wonderbread.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
All Days I Dream About Slogans.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I have eating disorders, always eat dessert first.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
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Suffer from toaster waiting anxiety.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
|
I previously storyboard all of my dreams.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
Merry go rounds. A child's way to get a hangover.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
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Home is where a man wearing a mask called an umpire is.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
|
Talk slowly to me, I'm a Neanderthal.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Zebras actually don't see bras, the Serengeti is very liberal.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
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It's like that Simpson episode when...
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Turn your other cheek, I just like kissing you.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Cola Connoisseur
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
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Colorblinds never get to read the yellow pages.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
I hate lactose intolerants, they don't understand my milky way.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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I play games in my mobile when doing #2.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
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Rhythm and Purples. Now that's a new genre.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Let's Go Eat Spicy Meatballs.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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I walk on the "cool t-shirt wearing" people lane. Move
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
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Is that vodka I smell in your baby's breath?
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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My tongue's got some skills, care to find out?
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Armageddon would come sooner if we'd all just bought Macs.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
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Crocs. The kings of the shoe kingdom.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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Don't laugh at my human disguise, Mars has no good human stores.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
TGI WEDNESDAY
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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I live next door to the Skywalkers.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
Lies suck, just ask Pinnochio.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I was in the toilet when I typed this.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
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Please do tell, how can sh/$% hit the fan?
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Hey Houston, I think the whole world has a problem.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
I killed a mocking bird. I think it's obvious why I did it.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
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I'm in the Chess Club.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
This breakfast gives me eggstacy.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Let your mind run wild but not too far, you need it.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Have a Bauhaus day.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
Egar Allan Poe sends his regards.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Got spare AA batteries? My lightsaber's out again.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
|
¿Got Problems? Just speed-dial God.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
I live in a living room.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
I Said No More Sponge Baths Grandma!
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Hop into my time machine, Aristotle's having a party tonight.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
Hop into my time machine! Let's go Triassic!
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
Help a firefighter keep his job. Start a fire.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
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My Octopus is perfect for this job. He multitasks.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
It's OK I'm a vegetarian. I only eat vegetarian people.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
Answer that door, it's probably the monopoly guy again.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
|
And the academy award goes to...Benjamin's Button.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
For Oscar's wife. Every night is an Oscar night.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
I lost my key to success.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Mom! Sasquatch ate our family meal again!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
Wait a minute, I just need to feed my porcupine.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
Straw. The best way to eat pork and beans.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Congratulations Robot Class of 2047!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
I bite my nails, please scratch my back.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
My velociraptor has self-esteem issues.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Let's party like animals inside Noah's Ark.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
|
I'd season your meat, I just don't have winter with me.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
Join the secret service. Don't tell anybody.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'll wait for you at midnight to howl at the moon.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Have some Peter Pan flavoured Peanut Butter.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Pelicans Secretly Sneak Babies to Neverland.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Opposite the of day the is this.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
Hand me the remote, I want to mute your for a second.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
I'll water gun splash to death.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Proudly an under achiever.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
I'm a hobbit. Give me a toe massage.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
Pull my finger, I can grow another one.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Passengers with destination to Narnia. Wardrobe closes in 5 min.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
Hug a human. Let's globally warm each other.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
I like mint flavored mints.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Easily Traceable Because of Google.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
|
I'm bored. Fancy a Quidditch Match?
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
Gummibears give me the creeps.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
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Eat Me. I'm the Marshmallow Man.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
creativity is for right-hemisphered people
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
This is the 1st edition of this shirt.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Peacock is a word that says the same thing twice.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Hot Dogs belong in Hot Dogpounds
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
I used the force and nothing happened
of 13 votes, 46% like it
|
|
fighting illiteracy one t-shirt at a time
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
Mr. Right Guy happens to be a leftie
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Mushrooms can't be eaten. Since when we can eat rooms?
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
save your words, they're an endangered species
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I take elevators to the 2nd floor.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
Snipers are natural born Stalkers.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
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Eat your greens, your yellows and your blues.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I have sundaes on sundays
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Join me in a power slide
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
|
WWW. Women Wearing Wonderbra
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Orion's Belt was bought at Macy's
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
I'm on the Zone Diet. I eat whatever's on the zone i'm in.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
MATHEMATEECIAN
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
If everybody was kung fu fighting, they'd all be dead.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Let's Carpool
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I ate the milky way galaxy.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
I'd say hello to you, but I just don't use vocals anymore.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Dunk a Donut
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Hey Whipple, Squeeze This
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
The Devil's too hot to wear PRADA.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
Alpha Bravo and Charlie went on a camping trip.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Spelling bees like my sweet sweet words.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
I hanged out with Beethoven.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Rage Against the Vending Machine.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
|
The Little Mermaid is way hotter than Snow White.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Someone called asking for Someone.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
Just doo it.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Alphabet your ass I will.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
I have a friend in facebook called Friend.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Mary Poppins' umbrella for sale.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
|
SUP WIT DAT!
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Barry White's Black Album.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
Practice Tee
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Not wanting to Log Out.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
The Bermuda Triangle happens to be an isosceles
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
You like Pop Art. I like Pop Tarts.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
50 Cent is not too rich apparently.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
You like Pop Art. I like Moz Art.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
Doogie Howser's Lonely Med Students Club
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Twister. A game for honry teenagers.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
Let's play Human Tetris
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
Those of you who are about to rock, I paper you.
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Oogie Boogie man looks for Oogie Boogie girlfriend.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
Teen Spirit was a deodorant.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Get on my monster truck. Just don't bother the monsters
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'm publishing a book about vampires too
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
Seymour Sawtoomuch
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
Dinosaurs Kick Ass
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Welcome to Oppositeville. Dessert comes first.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
Luck has nothing to do with it.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Kiss me I'm a Jedi
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
|
My father listens to Chicago. I just live there.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
A Chewie Cookie is NOT to be eaten. It's his.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. I took the shorter one.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Gordon Bombay was my childhood hero.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
|
Dr. Jekyll's my physician.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
I said hello to your little friend and look what happened to me.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Serifs are so last century
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
My sunglasses don't look coppy enough
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
Pee Nut Butt Uh
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
|
L8TER SK8TER
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
I don't like turtles.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
The girl wasn't from Ipanema
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Preferred older version of facebook.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Sperm Race Bookie.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
Sing A.Long is a chinese friend of mine.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
FUTURE TO THE BACK.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
I WANT STEVE JOB'S JOB.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
I'd rather be surfing.
The net, that is.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
|
JOIN MY OOMPA LOOMPA SQUAD.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
Dark Side of the Loon
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
I stalk Jedi Knights for fun
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
capital letters are for insecure people
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
Your blog needs attention.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
|
My profile pic is better than yours
of 28 votes, 4% like it
|
|
iFloss
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Stop or I'll Ctrl+Alt+Delete you
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
You Have 1 Friend Request
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
|
My new year's Eve was blonde and swedish
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Merry had a little Christmas.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
