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FRICKINAWESOME
FRICKINAWESOME aka Evan Ferstenfeld is a 34.86 year old boy, has been a member since May 5, 2006, has scored 146,778 submissions, giving an average score of 1.78, helping 1,863 designs get printed.
Alumni Club Member
URL: http://www.madewithawesome.com
I No Longer Have a Family Tree Because My Cousins Are Lumberjacks
of 157 votes, 56% like it
Adult Fairy Tales Have A Different Kind of Happy Ending.
of 151 votes, 47% like it
"My Precious." It Has A Nice Ring To It.
of 155 votes, 56% like it
I'm About To Do Something Unexpected In 3....... 2........ 57.
of 154 votes, 64% like it
To Make A Long Story Short, I Only Wrote The Ending.
of 155 votes, 65% like it
Zoology: The Study Of Zoos In Their Natural Habitat.
of 121 votes, 44% like it
I Don't Believe In Reincarnation, But I Did In A Past Life.
of 131 votes, 56% like it
The Apocalypse Would Be An Upgrade From The Day I'm Having.
of 139 votes, 47% like it
I Was Thinking About Banana Peels, But Then It Slipped My Mind.
of 131 votes, 47% like it
People Say I Overthink Things. I Wonder What They Really Mean.
of 174 votes, 67% like it
Germs Get Sick All The Time And Nobody Cares.
of 126 votes, 40% like it
Green: The Only Color That Cares About The Environment.
of 131 votes, 40% like it
I Hope All My Dreams Come True. Except The Naked Speech One.
of 132 votes, 61% like it
Due to budget cuts, the aphabet must drop a few etters.
of 120 votes, 49% like it
Reasons Why I Don't Like Making Lists: 1.____ 2.____ 3.____
of 125 votes, 36% like it
Cartoons Taught Me That Spinach Is A Substitute For Steroids.
of 142 votes, 51% like it
Remember To Look Both Ways Before Crossing Into Another Dimension
of 119 votes, 48% like it
The Only Trick My Pet Rock Can Do Is Jump Through Glass Windows.
of 140 votes, 58% like it
I'm Not Afraid of Anything, And That Kinda Scares Me.
of 116 votes, 53% like it
If The Ocean Is So Peaceful, Why Does It Try To Drown Me?
of 126 votes, 46% like it
I'm A Full-Fledged Citizen Of The Imagine Nation.
of 114 votes, 48% like it
Remember To Enjoy The Little Things In Life. Like Protons.
of 140 votes, 56% like it
There's A Thin Line Between Numbers And Fractions.
of 196 votes, 72% like it
If A Tree Fell In The Woods And No One Blogs It, Did It Happen?
of 136 votes, 49% like it
Building A Staircase Is A Multi-Stepped Process.
of 120 votes, 45% like it
Cheer Up! Your Problems Won't Matter Once Zombies Take Over.
of 143 votes, 59% like it
Mother Nature Just Wants Us To Get Off Her Lawn.
of 111 votes, 51% like it
Walking: A Step Forward In The Battle Against Standing Still.
of 115 votes, 53% like it
Ghosts Often Have Out-Of-Body Experiences.
of 100 votes, 37% like it
I’m Attracted To The Strong, Silent Type. You Know, Ninjas.
of 137 votes, 57% like it
Zombie Dogs Love Playing Undead.
of 135 votes, 61% like it
I Have A Time Machine. Other People Call It A Clock.
of 168 votes, 60% like it
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover. Judge The Cover Designer.
of 154 votes, 51% like it
I Play Duck, Duck Goose For The Thrill of The Chase.
of 107 votes, 39% like it
Slow Clapping Is Just Applause Foreplay.
of 122 votes, 43% like it
I Don’t Use Big Words, But I Do Increase Font Size.
of 165 votes, 64% like it
Ask Me About My Social Anxiety Issues.
of 122 votes, 51% like it
I Like That Thing You Like You Thought No One Else Liked.
of 124 votes, 55% like it
You Look Familiar, Did We Go To Ninja Academy Together?
of 118 votes, 44% like it
Calenders Prove That All Our Days Are Numbered.
of 143 votes, 62% like it
The Moon Is My Friend, It Stays Up All Night With Me.
of 103 votes, 45% like it
Rule Number One Of Debate Club: Is This A Good First Rule?
of 120 votes, 36% like it
Hey Gravity, Keep It Down!
of 162 votes, 67% like it
Sleep: The Original Energy Drink.
of 171 votes, 61% like it
I Am Highly, Exceedingly and Uncontrollably Addicted To Synonyms.
of 152 votes, 64% like it
Never Let A Hangman Show You The Ropes.
of 170 votes, 64% like it
Surprisingly, Rest Rooms Are Terrible Places to Take Naps.
of 187 votes, 67% like it
Come On Evolution, When Am I Gonna Sprout Wings And Lasers?
of 155 votes, 59% like it
Living Without Oxygen Would Be Cool But I'm Not Holding My Breath
of 124 votes, 55% like it
I Have A Fear Of Commitment, But Don't Hold Me To That.
of 131 votes, 54% like it
Black Holes Happen When A Stitch In Time Comes Loose.
of 109 votes, 41% like it
Bi-Polar Playgrounds Have Lots Of Mood Swings.
of 116 votes, 56% like it
Free Your Mind! Get A Lobotomy.
of 106 votes, 47% like it
I Learned Math By Counting Sheep During Class.
of 123 votes, 46% like it
To Get The Ball Rolling, I Usually Kick It and Run.
of 92 votes, 51% like it
My Shadow Wants Me To Come Towards The Dark Side.
of 99 votes, 61% like it
Clocks Have Withstood The Test Of Time.
of 84 votes, 42% like it
Fireworks Are Just Gun Powder Wearing Lots Of Makeup.
of 112 votes, 63% like it
Currently Straddling The Fence Between Reality and Insanity.
of 89 votes, 54% like it
Square Roots Are Really Hard To Plant.
of 131 votes, 67% like it
When I Complain It’s Like A Fine Whine.
of 84 votes, 45% like it
Immortality Never Gets Old.
of 109 votes, 60% like it
On Second Thought, Always Trust Your First Instinct.
of 154 votes, 78% like it
In Real Life, Boardgame Cards Do Not Help You To Get Out Of Jail.
of 83 votes, 40% like it
It's Time To Hit 'Refresh' On Your Reality Browser.
of 101 votes, 48% like it
I Have A Lazy Third Eye.
of 100 votes, 41% like it
In Case You're Wondering, This Doesn't End Well.
of 94 votes, 47% like it
Raise Your Hands If You Have OCD, Then Wash Them Nine Times.
of 104 votes, 54% like it
North Knows What’s Up, But South Knows How To Get Down.
of 94 votes, 52% like it
Scientists Find Their True Love Through Carbon Dating Websites.
of 87 votes, 51% like it
Living In The Past Makes Seeing What’s Coming Much Easier.
of 63 votes, 38% like it
Don't You Find It Awkward When People Stare At Your Shirt?
of 91 votes, 58% like it
Today I Counted To Infinity. What Have You Done?
of 102 votes, 61% like it
Crime Doesn't Pay If You're Not Good At Stealing Valuable Things
of 103 votes, 51% like it
Exercise Your Brain Today. Think About Push-Ups.
of 103 votes, 56% like it
The Game Of Hangman Is Proof That Illiteracy Kills.
of 108 votes, 57% like it
Ugly Presents Have Gotten A Bad Wrap.
of 84 votes, 48% like it
One Should Always Use Good Manners. Would You Please Go Away?
of 80 votes, 44% like it
Clams Are Horrified When They Arrive At The Pearly Gates.
of 72 votes, 40% like it
I Wave Back At The Ocean.
of 126 votes, 69% like it
Laziness Is Just Being Really Good At Doing Nothing.
of 99 votes, 62% like it
History Books Were A Lot Shorter Thousands Of Years Ago.
of 113 votes, 66% like it
Thanks Gravity! Without You, Flying Cars Would Be So Lame.
of 88 votes, 59% like it
Treasure Maps > GPS
of 101 votes, 67% like it
Is That Trouble Brewing Or Do I Just Smell Coffee?
of 80 votes, 54% like it
Too Much Food For Thought Made My Brain Fat.
of 97 votes, 61% like it
Life Is Full Of Colorful Characters When You've Got Some Crayons
of 96 votes, 59% like it
I'm A Big Fan Of Cool Oscillating Breezes.
of 91 votes, 45% like it
I Sure Hope This Shirt Doesn’t Wear Off.
of 87 votes, 37% like it
Superheroes Haven't Been The Same Since Phone Booths Vanished.
of 119 votes, 67% like it
It's Disastrous For Slugs To Take Situations With A Grain Of Salt
of 81 votes, 53% like it
Life Is What You Make Of It. I'm Making A Rocket Horse.
of 97 votes, 52% like it
Deer Always Lose In A Staring Contest With My Car.
of 89 votes, 53% like it
Don't Let Life Pass You By. Slam On Your Brakes And Block It.
of 79 votes, 42% like it
Instead Of Taking Life One Step At A Time, I Fall Down The Stairs
of 101 votes, 57% like it
I Exercise By Letting My Imagination Run Away With Me.
of 97 votes, 59% like it
Plumber Wanted. Must Like Mushrooms & Saving Princesses.
of 83 votes, 49% like it
When Money's No Object, You Can Buy A Lot Of Objects With Money.
of 76 votes, 43% like it
Illegal Aliens Must Be Stopped! It's Time To Build A Space Fence!
of 75 votes, 49% like it
People Say I'm Immature, But They're Just A Bunch Of Poopy Heads.
of 86 votes, 50% like it
Oxygen Is Always The Life Of The Party.
of 107 votes, 58% like it
Sticks and Stones Won't Break My Bones, But Trees and Boulders Do
of 96 votes, 61% like it
Blankets: They've Got It Covered.
of 114 votes, 67% like it
A Spelling Bee Recently S-T-U-N-G Me.
of 82 votes, 38% like it
I Pale In Comparison To Someone With A Better Tan.
of 80 votes, 48% like it
Let's Have Some Deep Thoughts Together And Make Idea Babies.
of 96 votes, 47% like it
I Dodged A Bullet Once By Going All Slo-Mo.
of 86 votes, 51% like it
Parents Take A Lot Of Child Abuse.
of 84 votes, 50% like it
GO GREEN. Absorb Lots Of Radiation and Get Angry.
of 93 votes, 49% like it
I'm Taking a Poll. But I've Got No Place To Put It.
of 74 votes, 45% like it
Keep It Down, The Monsters Under Your Bed Are Trying To Sleep.
of 85 votes, 52% like it
The City That Never Sleeps Just Has Insomnia.
of 80 votes, 44% like it
Kleptomaniacs Are Always Trying to Steal My Thunder.
of 89 votes, 53% like it
War Is Not The Answer, But It Puts Up A Convincing Argument.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
Skyscrapers Are Hilarious On At Least 100 Levels.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
Teddy Bear Stuffing Doesn't Taste Nearly As Good As A Turkey's.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
My Brain Is The Only One Who Truly Understands Me.
of 87 votes, 55% like it
Geometry: One Subject That Tries Its Best To Stay In Shape.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
Some People Know The Back Of Their Hand Disturbingly Well.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
Forget Music, Electricity Can Get Anyone To Dance Around.
of 70 votes, 49% like it
Loose Cannons Are Especially Dangerous On Pirate Ships.
of 79 votes, 43% like it
I Wish I Had A Laugh Track For When No One Gets My Jokes.
of 93 votes, 56% like it
I Fight Fire With Old-School Videogame Fireballs.
of 84 votes, 33% like it
Shadows Are Getting Tired Of People Walking All Over Them.
of 93 votes, 44% like it
What You Can't See Can't Kill You. Except For Ninjas.
of 125 votes, 67% like it
Daydreams: Because Sleeping At Your Desk Would Get You Fired.
of 103 votes, 57% like it
You're Weird. We Should Be Friends.
of 138 votes, 66% like it
The Grammar Police Need More Backup On The Internet.
of 117 votes, 61% like it
Being An Atheist Is My God-Given Right.
of 116 votes, 53% like it
Time Travelers Often Get Ahead Of Themselves.
of 111 votes, 62% like it
Some People Deserve A Second Chance. Those People Aren't Zombies.
of 100 votes, 61% like it
I Can Do Amazing Things But Only When No One Is Watching.
of 110 votes, 58% like it
Getting To The Heart Of The Matter Sometimes Requires Surgery.
of 91 votes, 52% like it
If You Shot The Sheriff, Who You Didn't Shoot Becomes Irrelevant.
of 137 votes, 66% like it
Since The Dawn Of Time, It's Been A Lot Brighter Outside.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
Seasons Change, Yet I Seem To Fall All Year Round.
of 86 votes, 38% like it
I'm Not Full Of Myself, Unless You Count My Inner Child.
of 92 votes, 48% like it
Birds Are Wary Of Both Left & Right-Wing Conspiracies.
of 79 votes, 44% like it
Rainbows Pass The Awesomeness Test With Flying Colors.
of 102 votes, 60% like it
Laws Are Made To Be Broken. Gravity, For Example.
of 88 votes, 49% like it
I Set The Bar High For Myself, Especially During Limbo.
of 141 votes, 67% like it
Many Mountains Fear They've Already Reached Their Peak.
of 97 votes, 48% like it
Living: It Saves Lives
of 92 votes, 57% like it
Mimes Were The Class Clowns Of Ninja School.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
We're On The Same Page. You're Just Reading A Different Novel.
of 106 votes, 64% like it
Repeating Yourself Isn't Nearly As Much Fun As Repeating Yourself
of 112 votes, 63% like it
Loose Lips Sink Ships, But Torpedoes Do It Even Faster.
of 81 votes, 47% like it
The Fruits Of Labor Are A Bit Too Sweaty For My Tastes.
of 77 votes, 52% like it
Colorblind Chameleons Always Have Trouble Blending In.
of 79 votes, 52% like it
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, Unless You Find Skeletons Attractive.
of 97 votes, 53% like it
WARNING: This Shirt Will Get Your Attention.
of 93 votes, 47% like it
I'd Return The Favor, But I Lost The Receipt.
of 96 votes, 61% like it
I'll Never Forget That Time I Had Amnesia.
of 128 votes, 70% like it
Whatever You're Doing, It's Not As Fun As Popping Bubble Wrap.
of 103 votes, 63% like it
Punch Cards Can Be So Violent.
of 84 votes, 46% like it
I'm More Of A Gatherer, Not A Hunter.
of 81 votes, 44% like it
Waldo: A Fugitive Who Doesn't Know The Meaning Of 'Blending In'
of 80 votes, 48% like it
I Brake For Objects That Will Break Me If I Hit Them.
of 84 votes, 56% like it
Campfires: The Marshmallow's Most Dangerous Predator.
of 85 votes, 60% like it
Yawn And The World Involuntarily Yawns With You.
of 108 votes, 63% like it
The Meaning Of Life Is Just A Dictionary Away.
of 98 votes, 57% like it
I'm Dressed To Kill, But I Set My T-Shirt To Stun.
of 112 votes, 64% like it
Mental Note- Buy More Paper To Write Notes On.
of 82 votes, 54% like it
Clearly, Green Is The Only Color That Cares About The Environment
of 108 votes, 62% like it
Life Is All About Risk. And Other Fun Board Games.
of 101 votes, 63% like it
I'm Not A Complete Nerd, Just Around 82.36 Percent.
of 87 votes, 53% like it
'R' Is The Most Pirated Letter Of The Alphabet.
of 84 votes, 54% like it
When I Drop Mad Beats They Tend To Get Even Madder.
of 84 votes, 51% like it
There's No Reason To Panic. There Are Many Reasons.
of 86 votes, 56% like it
There Are Too Many Choices When You Come to A Spork In The Road.
of 84 votes, 51% like it
Using Old-Timey Words For No Reason Is A Load Of Poppycock.
of 98 votes, 64% like it
The Moon Looks Calm, But It Has A Dark Side.
of 90 votes, 54% like it
Look On The Bright Side. The Dark Side Is Boring To Stare At.
of 74 votes, 50% like it
The Moon Is Glow-In-The-Dark.
of 81 votes, 49% like it
Calculators: You Can Always Count On Them.
of 94 votes, 56% like it
The Word Is Jam. Help Me Spread The Word.
of 84 votes, 49% like it
Why Trust Fortune Tellers When Cookies Can Do The Same Job?
of 108 votes, 67% like it
Ignorance Is Bliss, But Knowing Stuff Lets You Make Fun Of Them.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
Words To Live By: Never Take Advice From A T-Shirt.
of 84 votes, 55% like it
I Only Take Flying Lessons From People In Red Capes.
of 78 votes, 53% like it
Rhetorical Questions Always Need To Have The Last Word.
of 68 votes, 41% like it
I Thought The Night Would Never End. Then It Dawned On Me.
of 95 votes, 56% like it
Sadly, Taking Flying Lessons Doesn't Give You Superhero Powers.
of 73 votes, 41% like it
My Hobbies Include Wasting Other People's Time.
of 81 votes, 56% like it
Of All The People Who Have Read This Shirt, You Read It The Best.
of 83 votes, 53% like it
It's Less Poetic When A Tree Falls In The Woods On You.
of 89 votes, 64% like it
Breaking The Ice Gets Even More Awkward If You're Standing On It.
of 83 votes, 60% like it
I'm All For Tradition, As Long As It's Different Every Time.
of 73 votes, 52% like it
Don't Just Take Life For Granted, Remember To Mock It As Well.
of 72 votes, 56% like it
All You Need Is Love, If Love Contains Food, Air and Water.
of 90 votes, 57% like it
Lullabies: The All-Natural Alternative To Sleeping Pills.
of 73 votes, 56% like it
I Apologize For No Reason, And For That I'm Sorry.
of 95 votes, 59% like it
Space Flight Has Proven The Sky Is Not The Limit.
of 63 votes, 46% like it
Ovals Are Just Circles That Have Lost A Bunch Of Weight.
of 70 votes, 56% like it
The Middle Ages Were Not Nearly As Cool As The Teen Ages.
of 65 votes, 48% like it
Lightning Bolts Think Static Electricity Is So Adorable.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
Living The Life Of A Poet Has More Prose Than Cons.
of 89 votes, 61% like it
Cardboard Boxes: Good For Storage, Better For Adventure Forts.
of 90 votes, 64% like it
There's No Such Thing As Ghosts. Just Monsters and Zombies.
of 81 votes, 43% like it
The Dark Ages Was A Golden Time For Ugly People.
of 80 votes, 45% like it
Forget Monsters, Pop Music Told Me The Rhythm Is Gonna Get Me.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
Chimneys Have A Hard Time Quitting Their Smoking Habit.
of 78 votes, 42% like it
Conformity Is Lame, Unless You Want To Be More Like Me.
of 90 votes, 56% like it
This Shirt Is Made Of 100 Percent Recycled Cliches.
of 88 votes, 53% like it
Adjectives Make Cruel & Unusual Punishment Possible.
of 90 votes, 51% like it
Rainbows Are Nature's Way Of Saying Sorry After a Storm.
of 79 votes, 47% like it
The Stars Are Aligned When The Universe Has OCD.
of 75 votes, 47% like it
When It Comes To Eating Unhealthy, I Take The Cake!
of 74 votes, 49% like it
It's Somebody's Birthday Today, Let's Celebrate!
of 72 votes, 46% like it
I Got Hit In The Head By A Punctuation Mark And Went Into A Comma
of 110 votes, 74% like it
Watch Out For Pieces Of Chewing Gum, They Travel In Packs.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
When Opportunity Knocks, It Just Wants To Sell Me Something.
of 87 votes, 72% like it
I Don’t Get Even, I Get Odder.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
Statistics Make My Life 58.6% Better!
of 88 votes, 45% like it
I’d Start A Revolution, But I Get Easily Dizzy.
of 85 votes, 51% like it
The Sun Always Wins In A Staring Contest.
of 115 votes, 62% like it
Magic Beans Grow Up So Fast Nowadays.
of 74 votes, 46% like it
I Often Contradict Myself. Wait, No I Don't.
of 102 votes, 60% like it
Your Shoulder. I'd Tap That.
of 100 votes, 60% like it
Meteorites Can Kill Several Thousand Birds With One Stone.
of 129 votes, 72% like it
You Can Count On Me, Rain Or Shine. But Not When It's Snowy.
of 102 votes, 51% like it
It's All Fun & Games Until Someone Breaks The Controller.
of 106 votes, 58% like it
Luck Favors Those Who Have Access To A Time Machine.
of 98 votes, 51% like it
I'm An Ironic Nudist.
of 125 votes, 62% like it
Vegetarian Zombies Only Eat Heads Of Lettuce.
of 119 votes, 61% like it
Wishes Are A Get-Rich-Quick Scheme Thought Up By Water Fountains.
of 97 votes, 51% like it
Abbrevs Suck IMO.
of 75 votes, 44% like it
Meteors: Nothing Makes A Better First and Last Impression.
of 87 votes, 64% like it
Pastry Chefs Make The Best Pie Charts.
of 89 votes, 47% like it
Brains: They Think They're So Much Smarter Than Us.
of 86 votes, 45% like it
My Recent Home Improvement Was Zombie-Proofing The Windows.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
Gravity: The Force Is Strong With This One.
of 113 votes, 71% like it
Daylight Savings Is The Lamest Way To Time Travel.
of 98 votes, 57% like it
Sleepwalkers Are Just One Brain-Craving Away From Being Zombies.
of 88 votes, 53% like it
I Eat Three Square Meals A Day Because Other Shapes Taste Funny.
of 102 votes, 63% like it
Attention Muggers: Person Wearing This Shirt Has $5 Or Less.
of 82 votes, 54% like it
I Assume All Bearded Men With Walking Sticks Are Wizards.
of 134 votes, 75% like it
The Only Vacation I Can Afford Is Changing Exotic Desktop Images.
of 81 votes, 54% like it
Give Me A Dollar And I'll Tell You A Great Way To Make Money.
of 117 votes, 68% like it
Racking Your Brains Makes A Lot More Space To Store Ideas.
of 88 votes, 42% like it
Bed Sheets Are Just Really Lazy Ghosts.
of 119 votes, 66% like it
I Hired An Investigator To Find Out Who Framed My Pictures.
of 89 votes, 46% like it
An Apple A Day Makes Another Worm Homeless.
of 108 votes, 63% like it
Be Nice To Computers Because Some Day They'll Be Our Overlords.
of 85 votes, 51% like it
I Gave Peace A Chance, But It Only Read Me Lame Poetry.
of 93 votes, 61% like it
Giant Green Lizards Are The #1 Cause Of Inner-City Deaths.
of 73 votes, 45% like it
Time Machines Can Make Your Fifteen Minutes Of Fame Last Forever.
of 90 votes, 63% like it
Spirits Are Ghosts That Have A Drinking Problem.
of 88 votes, 50% like it
My T-Shirt Can Magically Transform Into A Napkin.
of 104 votes, 62% like it
When I Come To A Fork In The Road, It's Time to Eat.
of 90 votes, 52% like it
In Case Of Sarcastic Emergency: 1. STOP 2. DROP 3. ROLL YOUR EYES
of 104 votes, 66% like it
(in big letters) I'M NOT ONE FOR SMALL TALK.
of 84 votes, 55% like it
I Hacked My Way Onto Santa's Nice List.
of 92 votes, 54% like it
Honesty Is The Best Policy If You Want People To Hate You.
of 101 votes, 66% like it
Dear Diary, I Couldn't Find You So I Wrote On A T-Shirt...
of 83 votes, 49% like it
(on back) You're Thinking About Me Behind My Back, Aren't You?
of 94 votes, 53% like it
I'm Not Clumsy, I Just Like Doing Spontaneous Dance Moves.
of 110 votes, 70% like it
If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say, Say It With A Smile.
of 100 votes, 64% like it
Walking A Mile In Someone Else's Shoes Is Unsanitary.
of 84 votes, 58% like it
The Circle Of Life Isn't As Fun If You're A Square.
of 90 votes, 53% like it
I Don't Like Sports But I Do Enjoy Drinking And High Fives.
of 98 votes, 58% like it
Middle Fingers Aren't Bad, That's Just Their Position In Life.
of 95 votes, 62% like it
Infinity: The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 103 votes, 61% like it
Never Wish Upon A Ninja Star.
of 103 votes, 58% like it
Stop Signs Before They Try To Stop You!
of 104 votes, 57% like it
Daytime Is Brought To You By A Generous Donation From The Sun.
of 101 votes, 52% like it
By The End Of His Life, Humpty Dumpty Had Become A Crackhead.
of 103 votes, 51% like it
Love Triangles Are The Sexiest Of All Geometric Shapes.
of 96 votes, 59% like it
Puppets Should Learn How To Speak For Themselves.
of 97 votes, 67% like it
Speaking In Third Person Is Like A Verbal Out-Of-Body Experience.
of 79 votes, 56% like it
On The Inside, We're All Made Of The Same Icky Stuff.
of 92 votes, 59% like it
My Mind Was Blown Away During A Freak Brainstorming Accident.
of 96 votes, 60% like it
Studies Have Proven That I Don't Like Reading Them.
of 114 votes, 74% like it
I Have The Key To Happiness, But Someone Changed The Locks.
of 96 votes, 55% like it
I Remember Back In The Day When It Was Morning.
of 141 votes, 79% like it
People Say I'm In Denial, But I Don't Agree With Them At All.
of 123 votes, 69% like it
Peace & Love Is The Best Answer. Except On Math Tests.
of 111 votes, 62% like it
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night. Story Continued On Next Shirt.
of 96 votes, 56% like it
I Exercise By Having An Active Imagination.
of 96 votes, 61% like it
Anyone Can Be A Fast Runner Depending On What's Chasing Them.
of 98 votes, 55% like it
Coin Collecting Is Only Cool When Video Game Characters Do It.
of 110 votes, 64% like it
I Want To Start A Revolution, But I Think It's Against The Rules.
of 125 votes, 65% like it
Nouns Only Want You For One Thing, Person or Place.
of 104 votes, 59% like it
10 Times Out Of 9 What I Say Makes No Sense.
of 117 votes, 58% like it
Disobedient Planes Get Grounded.
of 96 votes, 54% like it
The Television Color Bars Are Really Prison For Bad Rainbows.
of 105 votes, 51% like it
If You're Telepathic, It's The Thought That Counts.
of 116 votes, 63% like it
Safes Are Boring, I Keep My Money In A Dangerous.
of 138 votes, 63% like it
My Reality Check Recently Bounced.
of 129 votes, 67% like it
I Know Things About Stuff.
of 119 votes, 55% like it
People Who Overgeneralize Are All Idiots.
of 119 votes, 62% like it
Sci-Fi Fans Go Through Many Phasers Of Life.
of 103 votes, 59% like it
Television Likes It When You Watch.
of 111 votes, 60% like it
My Train Of Thought Was Robbed By Cowboys On Horseback.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
Hitting The Gym Only Exercises Your Knuckles.
of 106 votes, 50% like it
I Nearly Drowned Myself During My Last Brainstorm.
of 113 votes, 56% like it
The Definition Of Dictionary Just Says 'Haha. Very Funny.'
of 107 votes, 52% like it
Electrochemical Impulses Really Get On My Nerves.
of 93 votes, 55% like it
I Bet You Can't Read My Lips And This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 103 votes, 56% like it
Planets Get Clean By Taking Meteor Showers.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
You Don't Need A Cape To Save The Planet, Just Recycle.
of 93 votes, 46% like it
I'm Not Made Of Money, But My Organs Would Fetch A Decent Price.
of 109 votes, 56% like it
I Thought The Future Would Have More Beep Boop Sounds.
of 161 votes, 70% like it
I'm Betterist At Making Up Words Than You.
of 98 votes, 47% like it
You Can't Run Away From Your Problems. Use a Scooter Instead.
of 100 votes, 53% like it
Balloons Like To Get High On Nitrous Oxide.
of 89 votes, 37% like it
The Reference On This Shirt Is Too Obscure For You To Understand.
of 97 votes, 49% like it
Wearing A Monocle Only Makes One Of Your Eyes Classier.
of 135 votes, 70% like it
I'm Saving The World In My Head Right Now.
of 86 votes, 49% like it
Word Of Mouth Travels Faster Than Words From Any Other Body Part.
of 96 votes, 53% like it
I May Or May Not Be An Indecisive Person.
of 155 votes, 70% like it
My Superhero Disguise Is So Good You'll Think I'm A Normal Person
of 112 votes, 55% like it
Socialism Has No Class.
of 104 votes, 47% like it
Who Needs Drugs When You Can Stand Up Real Fast?
of 126 votes, 63% like it
Looking On The Bright Side For Too Long May Cause Blindness.
of 130 votes, 65% like it
Make War Simulation Video Games, Not War.
of 104 votes, 52% like it
I'm Your Worst Nightmare, Minus The Zombie Dragons.
of 97 votes, 43% like it
The Monkey On My Back Ate The Chip On My Shoulder.
of 124 votes, 52% like it
Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Bullets Puncture Organs.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
The Equal Sign Always Sums It Up Best.
of 101 votes, 45% like it
What Do Skeletons Hide In Their Closets?
of 122 votes, 53% like it
In Real Life, Cougars Will Hunt You No Matter What Age You Are.
of 110 votes, 52% like it
Make Fun, Not War.
of 90 votes, 44% like it
Comparing Apples And Oranges Really Isn't That Hard.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Cacti Get No Love From Treehuggers.
of 116 votes, 60% like it
Conspiracy Theorists Claim That 9 8 7.
of 112 votes, 53% like it
I Blame Scapegoats For People's Lack Of Taking Responsibility.
of 95 votes, 53% like it
Selling Real Estate Is Easier Than Selling Imaginary Estate.
of 99 votes, 51% like it
If You Can Read This, You're Not Watching My Back.
of 115 votes, 41% like it
I Tried Following Murphy's Law, But Something Went Wrong.
of 120 votes, 59% like it
Time Flies When It Wears A Superhero Costume.
of 97 votes, 37% like it
If I Like Being Around People, Does That Make Me A Socialist?
of 96 votes, 34% like it
I Taught All The Chairs In My House To Sit.
of 97 votes, 38% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Silence Fool's Gold?
of 102 votes, 46% like it
I Always Get Sayings Wrong But That's The Way The Banana Crumbles
of 122 votes, 61% like it
The Swordfish Is Mightier And Tastier Than The Sword.
of 98 votes, 47% like it
Trains Are Easy To Hunt Down, They Leave Very Distinct Tracks.
of 105 votes, 49% like it
I'm A Fan Of Team Work, But I'd Rather Be On Team Relaxation.
of 109 votes, 46% like it
I'm Not A Stalker, I'm a Sleuth.
of 106 votes, 45% like it
Insanity Is 1% Inspiration and 99% Flying Unicorns.
of 156 votes, 63% like it
By A Show Of Hands, Who Is Entertained By Sock Puppets?
of 99 votes, 42% like it
Baby Oil Better Not Be Made Out Of What I Think It Is.
of 122 votes, 64% like it
Avalanches Are Great Exercise Motivators.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Please Speak Up, The Devil On My Shoulder Keeps Yelling.
of 122 votes, 45% like it
Raise Both Feet If You Like To Jump!
of 111 votes, 53% like it
I Always Feel Better After Playing On The Mood Swings.
of 113 votes, 48% like it
Verbs: All The Cool Kids Are Doing Them.
of 117 votes, 49% like it
The Pen Is Writier Than The Sword.
of 129 votes, 52% like it
I've Stopped Lying Ever Since I Was Nearly Killed By A Dragon.
of 150 votes, 64% like it
Do You Know What I Hate Most About Unanswered Questions?
of 145 votes, 66% like it
Independent Films Don't Need Anyone To Watch Or Support Them.
of 114 votes, 52% like it
There's Safety In Numbers. Except During Bomb Countdowns.
of 100 votes, 44% like it
History Books Were Much Shorter In Ancient Times.
of 124 votes, 57% like it
Say What You Will About Censorship, But I Think It's *** ** ***.
of 127 votes, 62% like it
5 Out Of 5 Old People Agree: You Should Get Off Their Lawn.
of 113 votes, 51% like it
Our Cars Run On Dinosaur Ghosts.
of 112 votes, 52% like it
Ice Cream Just Tastes Better Served Out Of A Musical Truck.
of 157 votes, 73% like it
Kill People With Kindness. And If That Fails, Use Poison.
of 142 votes, 70% like it
Online Daters Believe In Love At First Site.
of 126 votes, 63% like it
I Want To Form A Negativity Club, But No One's Gonna Join Anyway.
of 148 votes, 71% like it
Unlike My Competitors, I'm Giving Away My Hugs For Free.
of 98 votes, 49% like it
What Part of the Word 'Molendinarious' Do You Not Understand?
of 94 votes, 51% like it
Deja Vu Is The Time Traveler's Version Of Jet Lag.
of 117 votes, 70% like it
I Love Life, But I'm Not Always IN Love With It.
of 98 votes, 43% like it
Someday I'll Leave A Beautiful Fossil For An Alien Race To Dig Up
of 103 votes, 49% like it
Whoever Said There's No Free Lunches Never Checked The Dumpster.
of 104 votes, 45% like it
A Lot Of My Good Friends I Only Know By Screen Names.
of 105 votes, 44% like it
Empathy Is All Well And Good, But What's In It For Me?
of 108 votes, 45% like it
Timely T-Shirts Get Old, But The Y2K Bug Is Gonna Last Forever!
of 92 votes, 40% like it
I Remember How Condescending I Was When I Was Your Age.
of 117 votes, 62% like it
I Whole-Heartedly Believe In Half-Hearted Statements.
of 97 votes, 49% like it
I Wrote Down The Best Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 111 votes, 59% like it
A Torn Picture Is Only Worth 500 Words.
of 112 votes, 54% like it
Artificial Intelligence Will Impress Me When Robots Learn Sarcasm
of 130 votes, 68% like it
Sure, My Mom Dressed Me- But I Picked Out The Cool T-Shirt.
of 90 votes, 49% like it
Space Could Use Its Space Way More Efficiently.
of 95 votes, 42% like it
I've Had No Bright Ideas Since The Lightbulb Above My Head Broke.
of 103 votes, 45% like it
There's Nothing New Under The Sun, So I Checked Behind It.
of 102 votes, 47% like it
The World Is My Oyster, But I'm Allergic To Seafood.
of 108 votes, 47% like it
Nature Calls The 4th Of July 'Humans Attack The Sky' Day.
of 104 votes, 39% like it
I Believe In The Religion That Has The Most Holidays.
of 152 votes, 72% like it
My Favorite Viking Pop Group Is The Pillage People.
of 95 votes, 39% like it
Masochists Like To Slip Into Something Less Comfortable.
of 87 votes, 45% like it
Metaphives Are Metaphors Plus One.
of 87 votes, 41% like it
I'd Show You What I'm Made Of, But Molecules Are Really Tiny.
of 130 votes, 65% like it
If You've Got Nothing But Time On Your Hands, Wash Them Off.
of 87 votes, 44% like it
The Sound Barrier: You Break It, You Bought It!
of 110 votes, 55% like it
On The Plus Side, In Space No One Can Hear You Hiccup Either.
of 90 votes, 38% like it
Are You Entitled To That Opinion? Let Me See Your Paperwork.
of 96 votes, 46% like it
Thankfully Peacocks Don't Look Anything Like Their Name.
of 108 votes, 56% like it
Stop Animal Abuse. Adopt A Pinata.
of 159 votes, 70% like it
For Those About To Rock, We Salute You... With Paper.
of 132 votes, 51% like it
Waiter, There's A Ninja Star In My Turtle Soup!
of 124 votes, 45% like it
Side Effects Of Reading This Shirt Include Annoyance and Sarcasm.
of 114 votes, 44% like it
I Was Going To Procrastinate Today, But I'll Just Do It Tomorrow
of 128 votes, 53% like it
I'm Very Good At, Um, Ah...What's That Word, Ummm, Communicating!
of 112 votes, 36% like it
Zombies Are Just Nature's Way Of Recycling Humans.
of 152 votes, 65% like it
The Only Way To Make This More Awkward Is If You Keep Staring.
of 121 votes, 55% like it
I Was Making A Family Tree, But Lost It In A Tragic Forest Fire.
of 118 votes, 45% like it
Forget The Sixth Sense, I'm More Impressed With The Common Sense.
of 128 votes, 46% like it
It's Official: Other Languages Have Better Curse Words.
of 137 votes, 60% like it
Studies Have Shown That I Don't Like To Study.
of 129 votes, 54% like it
I Only Obey The Law Of Gravity When Cops Are Watching.
of 127 votes, 49% like it
The Speed Of Light Has Half The Calories Of The Speed Of Heavy.
of 121 votes, 47% like it
Feelings Are Way Too Sensitive.
of 116 votes, 45% like it
I Can't Stand Animal Puns And I'm Not Even Lion.
of 138 votes, 52% like it
Fiction: You Can't Make Stuff Like That Up.
of 131 votes, 55% like it
I Re-Arrange My Money So They All Face the Same Way.
of 103 votes, 44% like it
What Kind Of Fossil Fuel Did Dinosaur Cars Run On?
of 109 votes, 42% like it
My Friends Aren't Imaginary, Just Invisible And Shy.
of 145 votes, 69% like it
Winners Never Quit. Faking An Injury Looks Much Better.
of 127 votes, 62% like it
Flying Broomsticks Are The Cleanest Form Of Transportation.
of 121 votes, 51% like it
Vegetarians And Math Teachers Agree: Be Fruitful And Multiply.
of 108 votes, 48% like it
MC Raven Won't Stop Rapping At My Chamber Door.
of 109 votes, 48% like it
If Silence Is Golden, I Bet Mimes And Monks Are Loaded.
of 121 votes, 55% like it
I Wish All Wars Could Be Settled With A Dance-Off.
of 122 votes, 65% like it
Real Ice Breakers Are Not Acceptable Conversation Starters.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Death: Still The Number One Cure For All Known Ailments.
of 114 votes, 57% like it
Works Of Fiction Have Problems With Keeping It Real.
of 115 votes, 49% like it
Dear Chairs, I'm Sorry You Always Get The Ass-End Of The Deal.
of 106 votes, 34% like it
Chameleons Won't Impress Me Until They Learn How To Change Shape.
of 108 votes, 51% like it
.ygolohcysp esrever esu I
of 133 votes, 58% like it
Life Is Tired Of You Grabbing It By The Horns.
of 106 votes, 49% like it
Just About Anything Is Greater Than Sliced Bread.
of 128 votes, 59% like it
Help Prevent Foot-In-Mouth Disease. Please Speak Responsibly.
of 107 votes, 50% like it
The Dark Ages Would Have Been More Fun With Bouncy Castles.
of 142 votes, 69% like it
Talk Is Cheap, But Words On A Shirt Are More Expensive.
of 108 votes, 44% like it
I Support Columns.
of 105 votes, 37% like it
In Candyland, People Stay Warm By Putting On A Sugar Coat.
of 106 votes, 42% like it
The Most Important Thing About Mumbling Is Mrmhmrmrmrmhm.
of 113 votes, 45% like it
If The Proof Is In The Pudding, I Ate The Proof And It Was Yummy.
of 117 votes, 56% like it
No One Stops To Smell The Venus Flytraps Anymore.
of 103 votes, 46% like it
Some Call It Skywriting, I Call It Cloud Graffiti.
of 104 votes, 50% like it
Draw Pictures Not Pistols
of 116 votes, 47% like it
Words: The Best Thing Since Grunting and Pointing.
of 129 votes, 59% like it
People Who Use Words Incorrectly Are Such Oxymorons.
of 136 votes, 64% like it
Going Insane Makes All Of Your Dreams Come True.
of 118 votes, 47% like it
If At First You Don't Succeed, Sue Someone Who Has.
of 115 votes, 51% like it
Thiiiiiiis Shirrrrrrrrt Isssssss Innnnn Sloooooooow Moootiooooon.
of 135 votes, 41% like it
When I Grow Up, I'm Getting A Passport And Moving To Candyland.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
Wormholes: Good For Both Soil Enrichment And Time Travel.
of 125 votes, 45% like it
I Pray For World Peace, But Mostly For The Sky To Rain Candy.
of 135 votes, 61% like it
4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree They Are Tired Of Taking These Surveys.
of 132 votes, 61% like it
I Have A Bunk Bed If You Count The Monsters Sleeping Under Me.
of 110 votes, 39% like it
Ice Cream Headaches: As Delicious As They Are Painful.
of 106 votes, 39% like it
A Cow Goes 'Moo', A Dog Goes 'Woof', And A Mouse Goes 'Click'.
of 120 votes, 49% like it
Zebras Are Just Horses With Bad Tan Lines.
of 112 votes, 45% like it
What If Irony Meant The Exact Opposite Of What We Thought It Did?
of 134 votes, 61% like it
My Artwork Looks Best Taped To Refridgerator Doors.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
I Humbly Suggest That I'm Extremely Awesome.
of 128 votes, 56% like it
Rule #1 For Being In Lazy Club Is, Well, We Haven't Decided Yet.
of 103 votes, 44% like it
If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, How Many Wrongs Does It Take?
of 123 votes, 58% like it
I Was An Air Violin Childhood Prodigy.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
Some People Sleep Their Way To The Top, I Bought A Bunk Bed.
of 104 votes, 44% like it
Not Enough People Go On Mythical Quests Anymore.
of 120 votes, 53% like it
Earthquakes: The Original Movers & Shakers.
of 111 votes, 41% like it
I'm Psychic. Or Psycho, I Forget Which Word The Voices Said To Me
of 147 votes, 63% like it
I'm Angry 'Lumber' And 'Dumber' Aren't Pronounced The Same Way.
of 103 votes, 34% like it
When History Was Younger, It Didn't Repeat Itself As Much.
of 142 votes, 68% like it
How Original Can One Be When We're All Using The Same Words?
of 101 votes, 45% like it
Legend Has It That People Used To Make Up Crazy Stories.
of 118 votes, 46% like it
I Never Had An Imaginary Friend So I Just Made One Up Instead.
of 128 votes, 54% like it
Icicles Are Winter's Way Of Trying To Murder You.
of 127 votes, 53% like it
Everybody Raise Your Hands If You Believe In Conformity!
of 119 votes, 45% like it
Bubble Wrap Will Always Be My Favorite Toy.
of 117 votes, 46% like it
WARNING: This Shirt Is A Choking Hazard If Swallowed.
of 113 votes, 39% like it
I'm Not Gaining Weight, My Inner Child Is A Little Chubby.
of 104 votes, 39% like it
I've Never Held A Dagger Before, But I'd Take A Stab At It.
of 105 votes, 43% like it
I Perform Musicals In Front Of Random Security Cameras.
of 118 votes, 50% like it
I Exercise By Running Away From Reality.
of 112 votes, 43% like it
An Eye For An Eye Makes It Hard To Tell Who's A Real Pirate.
of 125 votes, 53% like it
Zeus Excels At Lightning Rounds On Game Shows.
of 109 votes, 34% like it
Who Needs A Calculator When I Have All These Fingers And Toes?
of 127 votes, 46% like it
Stories From Galaxies Far Far Away Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
of 115 votes, 39% like it
My Heart Is Always In The Right Place- My Ribcage.
of 128 votes, 51% like it
I've Said It Before And I'll Say It Again, I Hate Repetition.
of 144 votes, 63% like it
Water: The Number One Killer Of Fires.
of 129 votes, 40% like it
Death Only Comes When You Run Out Of Quarters To Continue.
of 146 votes, 41% like it
People Say My Best Quality Is An Extreme Attention To Deetail.
of 126 votes, 40% like it
I'm Like A Love Grenade That Hits You With Shrapnels Of Awesome!
of 119 votes, 37% like it
Keeping It Real Is So Selfish, I Also Try To Give Some Real Back.
of 106 votes, 38% like it
Keyholes Are A Gateway Drug For Peeping Toms.
of 106 votes, 32% like it
This Shirt Is: a)funny b)confusing c)spicy d) all of the above
of 122 votes, 34% like it
Some Say I Don't Finish My Thoughts, But I Say That's A Cute Owl.
of 142 votes, 57% like it
The Food Pyramid Taught Me The Importance Of Eating Triangles.
of 136 votes, 51% like it
Number 2 Pencils: Making Runners-Up Feel Like They Came In First.
of 111 votes, 37% like it
I Bet You A Dollar I Can Get You To Read My Shirt.
of 122 votes, 39% like it
Sorry I Missed The Bad Excuses Meeting, I Was Stuck In Traffic.
of 115 votes, 44% like it
We'd All Be A Little Better Off If Life Had A Ten-Second Delay.
of 107 votes, 38% like it
I Majored In Non-Verbal Communication. See What I've Learned?
of 105 votes, 37% like it
I Eat My Words So Much I've Started Coating Them With Chocolate.
of 134 votes, 57% like it
If X Marks The Spot, ? Marks The Mushrooms And Fire Flowers.
of 137 votes, 40% like it
Beavers: Giving A Dam Since Birth.
of 136 votes, 51% like it
Watch Out For Octopi, They're Always Heavily Armed.
of 127 votes, 39% like it
On Second Thought, I Really Should Have Trusted My First One.
of 119 votes, 39% like it
(back) I Don't Quite Follow You. Actually, You're Following Me.
of 139 votes, 41% like it
Danger Is My Middle Name. Frighty Danger McScaredypants.
of 141 votes, 44% like it
Words: They Get People Talking.
of 130 votes, 43% like it
Videogames Lied To Me About The Adventurous Lives Of Plumbers.
of 170 votes, 65% like it
Sweating Bullets Would Be Very Useful During Wartime.
of 147 votes, 48% like it
Earthquakes Are Just Nature Moving Its Puzzle Pieces Around.
of 132 votes, 39% like it
The Voices In My Head Came Together To Form A Barbershop Quartet.
of 137 votes, 40% like it
Science: 'We Didn't Mean To Make That, But That's Way Cool Too.'
of 125 votes, 41% like it
I Don't Like To Dance, But I Do Enjoy Flailing Around.
of 127 votes, 46% like it
A Pinball Wizard Is The Nerdiest Of All Magical Beings.
of 158 votes, 47% like it
Human Cannonballs Aren't Good At Their Jobs Unless They Get Fired
of 139 votes, 44% like it
I Assume All People With Walking Sticks Are Magical Wizards.
of 150 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Speak Other Languages, I Just Know Their Curse Words.
of 131 votes, 47% like it
Clouds Are Just Rainstorms In Cute, Fluffy Disguises.
of 142 votes, 54% like it
Let's Hear It For Silence!!!!!
of 161 votes, 55% like it
I Use Stronger Language Since My Vocabulary Started Working Out.
of 134 votes, 48% like it
There's Not A Surface On Earth That Can't Be An Instant Drum Kit.
of 137 votes, 43% like it
There Are No Wrong Answers, Just Ones You Laugh Really Hard At.
of 142 votes, 54% like it
My Heart Would Make A Great DJ With All These Awesome Beats.
of 123 votes, 37% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Conversation At Least Silver?
of 138 votes, 49% like it
Agoraphobics Agree It's What's Inside That Really Counts.
of 158 votes, 61% like it
Zombies Wear Other People's Hearts On Their Sleeve.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
My T-Shirt Does A Fantastic Impression Of A Turtleneck Sweater.
of 125 votes, 37% like it
I'm Thinking About The Gym, So At Least I Exercised My Brain.
of 130 votes, 49% like it
I Let My Mind Wander And Now A Search Party Is Out Looking For It
of 123 votes, 47% like it
A Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, But Only If It Squirts Poison.
of 126 votes, 39% like it
Drop Babies Not Bombs. No Wait...Don't Drop Either.
of 130 votes, 42% like it
Tractor Beams Make Farming Seem So Much Cooler.
of 119 votes, 39% like it
Exposing Yourself To New Things Might Get You Arrested.
of 121 votes, 47% like it
Drop Hints Not Bombs
of 117 votes, 39% like it
Raise Your Hand If You Like Exercise. Now The Other And Repeat.
of 116 votes, 45% like it
Can You Turn Around Please? I'm Trying To Launch A Sneak Attack.
of 120 votes, 49% like it
Going Green Is A Wonderful Thing Unless You're About To Throw Up.
of 116 votes, 39% like it
Unicorns Bleed Rainbows And Magic.
of 129 votes, 43% like it
This Shirt Hides My Scar From A Vicious Unicorn Stabbing.
of 127 votes, 43% like it
Never Go Head-To-Head With A Unicorn.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
Pie Charts: As Delicious As They Are Informative.
of 138 votes, 52% like it
Unicorns Don't Believe In YOU Either.
of 158 votes, 59% like it
Unicorns Are Just Metrosexual Rhinos.
of 143 votes, 54% like it
Geometry: Taking All The Fun Out Of The Shapes We Loved As Kids.
of 138 votes, 48% like it
A Bird In The Hand Means You're Probably Flipping Me Off.
of 127 votes, 42% like it
(on green) It's Actually Pretty Damn Easy Being This Color.
of 140 votes, 41% like it
So This Person Wearing An Awesome T-Shirt Walks Into A Bar...
of 128 votes, 35% like it
Movie Mathematics: One Million Humans Killed = One Dog Death
of 141 votes, 35% like it
The Great Outdoors Looks Better From The Window Of My Heated Room
of 127 votes, 43% like it
Cook Books Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 142 votes, 41% like it
Mad Is Such A Strong Word, I'm More Of An Agitated Scientist.
of 165 votes, 58% like it
I Enjoy Smart Humor, Like A Scientist Tripping On A Encyclopedia.
of 129 votes, 47% like it
You Can See Right Through Me. (also written on back reversed)
of 127 votes, 48% like it
Nobody Seems To Care About All The Apathy In The World Today.
of 146 votes, 58% like it
Labyrinths Are Like Mazes, But With More Rock Stars And Puppets.
of 170 votes, 59% like it
When It Rains I Fight Back By Shooting A Squirt Gun At The Sky.
of 157 votes, 54% like it
You Seem Like The Type Of Person Who Reads People's Shirts.
of 143 votes, 43% like it
These Words Exist Only In Your Mind. I'm Not Even Wearing A Shirt
of 127 votes, 44% like it
The More Things Change, The More This Cliche Stays The Same.
of 131 votes, 49% like it
The Letter "O" Always Seems So Surprised.
of 140 votes, 42% like it
How About You Say Something Funny To MY Shirt For A Change?
of 129 votes, 40% like it
I Was Once Held In A Computer Prison But I Made A Miraculous Esc.
of 137 votes, 45% like it
Volcanoes Would Be Less Scary If They Were Filled With Hot Fudge.
of 136 votes, 41% like it
Let Your Boomerang Go. If It Comes Back, It Was Meant To Be.
of 129 votes, 42% like it
If All I Eat Are Empty Calories, Shouldn't I Be Losing Weight?
of 128 votes, 37% like it
You're Missing Some Really Awesome Facial Gestures Right Now.
of 136 votes, 45% like it
Fishnets: Good For Sexy Time AND Catching Your Dinner.
of 155 votes, 41% like it
Fantasy Sports Teams Need More Wizards and Unicorns.
of 146 votes, 39% like it
this is my shirt's inside voice (UV)AND THIS IS ITS OUTSIDE VOICE
of 145 votes, 46% like it
Artist Competitions Usually End In A Draw.
of 146 votes, 47% like it
Member Of The Rock/Paper/Scissors Non-Aggression Peace Movement
of 146 votes, 47% like it
Consider Yourself Lucky I Only Use My Powers For Good.
of 131 votes, 40% like it
Killing People With Kindness Is The Nicest Way To Murder Someone.
of 144 votes, 46% like it
Illegally Changing Lowercase Letters Is A Capital Offense.
of 144 votes, 38% like it
The Best Strategy To Win A Math Battle Is To Divide And Conquer.
of 126 votes, 44% like it
4 Out Of 5 People Agree This Joke Setup Is Very Cliche.
of 134 votes, 33% like it
The Most Amazing Thing I've Ever Seen Just Happened Behind You.
of 169 votes, 57% like it
I'm The Best At Geography On All Six Continents!
of 130 votes, 40% like it
I Had To Wrestle This Shirt Away From The Monster In My Closet.
of 134 votes, 40% like it
I Don't Know Karate, But I Can Make The Punch And Kicking Sounds.
of 141 votes, 47% like it
Dinosaurs Didn't Go Extinct, They Evolved Into Cute Plush Animals
of 149 votes, 52% like it
Don't Be Shy, Of Course You Can Have Your Picture Taken With Me!
of 133 votes, 39% like it
When I Do Something, I Do It 100 Percent. That Includes Quitting.
of 138 votes, 45% like it
Cell Phones Are NOT A Substitute For Lighters At A Concert.
of 145 votes, 52% like it
There's No Use Crying Over Tipped Cows.
of 134 votes, 44% like it
Fire Escapes Ignore The Fact That Humans Need Exits Too.
of 151 votes, 39% like it
Videogames Taught Me Mushrooms Help You Grow Up Big And Strong.
of 136 votes, 43% like it
A Cannibal's Favorite Meal Is A Breakfast Of Champions.
of 150 votes, 48% like it
My Mouth Is Where Awesome Rap Songs Go To Die.
of 151 votes, 42% like it
My Guitar Licks Taste Like Metal.
of 154 votes, 42% like it
I Like People Who Can Read, So You're Off To A Good Start!
of 164 votes, 47% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are The Laziest Form Of Time Travel.
of 174 votes, 55% like it
People Who Make Up Their Own Words Really Infuritate Me.
of 151 votes, 34% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 174 votes, 54% like it
Grenades Have Only One Chance To Make A First Impression.
of 150 votes, 49% like it
I Keep Trying To Lose Weight, But It Always Manages To Find Me.
of 149 votes, 46% like it
Nightmares Are Your Brain's Revenge For Boring It During Worktime
of 156 votes, 49% like it
Where There's A Will, There's A Bunch Of Greedy Relatives.
of 186 votes, 60% like it
Escalators Move Me.
of 196 votes, 67% like it
This Tee Is Rated G And Contains Images Of A Non-Graphic Nature.
of 139 votes, 37% like it
I Have Multiple Personality Issues. No I Don't.
of 153 votes, 44% like it
Lumberjacks: The Number One Cause Of Ewok Home Foreclosures.
of 143 votes, 36% like it
Fish of the World Agree: Stay In Schools!
of 159 votes, 44% like it
I'll Try Anything Once, Even Trying Things Once Again.
of 149 votes, 41% like it
My Favorite Thing To Eat Is Food.
of 165 votes, 43% like it
Flowers Love It When You Wet Their Beds.
of 165 votes, 48% like it
If Rainbows Are So Cheerful, Why Are They Always Frowning?
of 186 votes, 54% like it
Nuclear War: Humanity's Instant Reset Button.
of 163 votes, 43% like it
My Favorite Stress Reliefs Are Meditation and Smashing Things.
of 161 votes, 48% like it
The Food Pyramid: Egypt's Most Nutritional Achievement.
of 186 votes, 52% like it
Zombies Can't Dance Because They Got No Soul.
of 195 votes, 57% like it
Riding Into The Sunset Can Give You First Degree Burns.
of 179 votes, 51% like it
Nouns Are Sick and Tired Of Being Objectified!
of 189 votes, 47% like it
I Thought The Police Sirens Were Just Trying To Cheer Me On.
of 222 votes, 55% like it
Near-Sighted People See The Glass As Half-Blurry.
of 253 votes, 51% like it
Due To Inflation, A Picture Is Now Worth Only 950 Words.
of 354 votes, 75% like it
Five Out Of Five Cannibals Agree You Are What You Eat.
of 271 votes, 59% like it
I Hate T-Shirts Almost As Much As I Love Irony.
of 292 votes, 52% like it
Question Marks Are Only For Sentences With Low Self-Confidence.
of 270 votes, 56% like it
Light Switches Turn Me On. And Off. And Then On Again.
of 246 votes, 37% like it
Humans: The Greatest Threat To Humans Since the Dawn of Humans.
of 298 votes, 62% like it
Hell: It's Actually More of a Dry Heat.
of 240 votes, 41% like it
Cartwheels Are The Most Fuel-Efficient Way To Travel.
of 235 votes, 44% like it
Astronauts Must Stay Focused Or They'll Just Stare Off Into Space
of 235 votes, 44% like it
I'm the Nigerian Prince That's Been E-Mailing You.
of 255 votes, 47% like it
(in gold and silver foil) I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS.
of 242 votes, 50% like it
Planets Would Be Less Lonely If They Didn't Need So Much Space.
of 229 votes, 41% like it
I Think Unicorns Might Be Endangered. I Haven't Seen One in Ages.
of 259 votes, 50% like it
I Was Hoping This Shirt Would Make Me Feel LESS Socially Awkward.
of 253 votes, 43% like it
Cloning Humans is So Unoriginal.
of 261 votes, 42% like it
I Fluently Speak French, German and Other Names of Languages.
of 305 votes, 55% like it
I'm Sorry I Can't Talk Now, I Have To Go Make An Excuse.
of 278 votes, 47% like it
Global Warming is Just the Sun Trying To Give Us All Its Love.
of 318 votes, 57% like it
I Can Think Of At Least 3.14 Reasons Why Pi Is Awesome.
of 314 votes, 58% like it
Zombie Parents Find Raising Their Dead Very Difficult.
of 254 votes, 41% like it
Spoken Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 270 votes, 43% like it
Just Once I'd Like To See a Suitcase Full of Money in Real Life.
of 269 votes, 49% like it
What's Another Word For "Synonym"?
of 328 votes, 60% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something.
of 308 votes, 55% like it
Fractions Have Made Me 1/2 The Person I Am Today.
of 276 votes, 45% like it
Even Numbers Think I'm Quite Odd.
of 287 votes, 47% like it
Spheres Are Just Elitist Circles.
of 265 votes, 46% like it
I Actually Wanted the Person Behind You To Read My Shirt.
of 332 votes, 59% like it
Multi-Colored Ghosts Always Hunt in Pacs.
of 285 votes, 46% like it
Amnesia Is the Cheapest Way To Start a New Life For Yourself.
of 317 votes, 59% like it
Science: Taking All the Fun Out of Guessing Since 1600.
of 395 votes, 70% like it
Hurricanes: The Hotel-Trashing Rock Star Of Weather.
of 256 votes, 41% like it
WANTED: Death Metal Band in Need of Harpist & Ukelele Player.
of 283 votes, 44% like it
Failure Is Not An Option. It Comes Standard With Most Humans.
of 340 votes, 62% like it
I Waste Food So I Can Recycle the Can It Was In.
of 278 votes, 39% like it
Two Things You Should Know About Me: I'm Not Good At Counting.
of 363 votes, 57% like it
I'm Not Over-Anxious, You're Just Under-Worried.
of 310 votes, 45% like it
Today's Forecast Calls For a 100 Percent Chance of Reading.
of 294 votes, 39% like it
The Meaning of Life Was On the Shirt I Wore Yesterday.
of 358 votes, 58% like it
I'd Say I'm Lazy, But I'd Rather Have My Shirt Do the Work For Me
of 301 votes, 42% like it
Pianos Always Sound Best When Crushing Cartoon Characters.
of 294 votes, 39% like it
I Only Solve Mazes That Have David Bowie In Them.
of 329 votes, 50% like it
Trap Doors Would Instantly Make Any Sport More Exciting.
of 406 votes, 64% like it
Due To Budget Cuts, Infinity Is Worth One Less Than It Used To.
of 319 votes, 43% like it
The First Rule of Anarchy: You Just Screwed Up Being an Anarchist
of 375 votes, 54% like it
Making a Bad Analogy is Like Watching Stick Figures Breakdance.
of 356 votes, 48% like it
Dogs Wearing Diamonds Are Everyone's Best Friend.
of 410 votes, 59% like it
Coloring Outside the Lines: Banned For Illegally Crossing Borders
of 327 votes, 43% like it
I've Been a Time Traveler Since Before I Was Born.
of 356 votes, 50% like it
Hangman Is a Promoter of Vigilante Grammatical Violence.
of 359 votes, 51% like it
Ask Me About My Hatred For Answering Questions.
of 357 votes, 46% like it
Standing Out in a Crowd is Easier Once Everyone Else is Seated.
of 336 votes, 49% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 333 votes, 35% like it
I'm Much More Confident After Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 331 votes, 39% like it
Doing My Part To Combat Global Warming By Making Earth Cooler.
of 343 votes, 45% like it
Heroes Are Too Busy Playing Guitar To Save Lives Nowadays.
of 462 votes, 65% like it
I Can Walk on Water. Well, Others Call It Ice Skating.
of 400 votes, 47% like it
I Can't Dance, But I'm Really Good At Flailing Around.
of 455 votes, 57% like it
Sometimes I Don't Even Get My Own Jokes Until Days Later.
of 421 votes, 48% like it
If You Must Throw Your Life Away, Please Recycle It.
of 454 votes, 57% like it
Drinking Coffee Is Not My Cup of Tea.
of 435 votes, 50% like it
I Know the Final Digit of Pi.
of 501 votes, 56% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Kitten Death Traps.
of 406 votes, 43% like it
I'm Currently Modeling My Parent's Genes.
of 415 votes, 42% like it
(front) Anagrams Are Awesome! (back) Arrows Ease, Sane Magma!
of 403 votes, 39% like it
I'd Take a Leap of Faith, But the Hurdles of Logic Are Too High!
of 387 votes, 40% like it
Forget Past & Future, I Like The Ghost of Christmas Presents.
of 409 votes, 36% like it
Plagiarists Are Just Doing Their Part to Recycle Old Ideas.
of 411 votes, 45% like it
I Bet I Can Get You To Stare At My Chest For Three Seconds.
of 430 votes, 44% like it
Exclamation Points Make Every Sentence Have a Happy Ending!
of 450 votes, 53% like it
The Universe Constantly Expanding Explains My Weight Gain.
of 393 votes, 33% like it
Live Every Day Like You Died the Day Before.
of 412 votes, 38% like it
(in glow ink) I'm Glow-in-the-Dork.
of 456 votes, 42% like it
In An Alternate Dimension, I'm Reading Your Shirt Right Now.
of 432 votes, 45% like it
Global Warming is Really the Titanic Getting Revenge on Icebergs.
of 515 votes, 56% like it
I Fight Crime By Being So Broke That Nobody Wants to Mug Me.
of 451 votes, 44% like it
I'm No Artist, But I'm Very Good at Drawing a Blank.
of 442 votes, 36% like it
Land: It's Like the Ocean Floor, But Less Watered-Down.
of 437 votes, 40% like it
The Internet Was Closed So I Thought I'd Come Outside Today.
of 567 votes, 64% like it
You Look Exactly Like I Pictured You From My Binoculars.
of 481 votes, 51% like it
Ten Foot Poles Don't Like Touching Gross Stuff Either.
of 644 votes, 72% like it
A.A.A.A.A. (Artists Against Abhorent Alliteration Assocation)
of 464 votes, 35% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Not a Very Good Ninja.
of 665 votes, 63% like it
I Used To Wear Suspenders, But I'm Overall That Now.
of 493 votes, 39% like it
'People Shall Finally Remember My Name Forever' -Anonymous
of 624 votes, 60% like it
I Lift Huge Dictionaries To Give Myself More Definition.
of 560 votes, 56% like it
(for babies): I'm Having a Party Over at My Crib Tonight.
of 490 votes, 44% like it
Turning a Frown Upside Down Would Seriously Damage Your Lips.
of 489 votes, 39% like it
Street Beggars Do Not Fear Change.
of 526 votes, 45% like it
Scientology: The Religion With the Best Laser Battles.
of 568 votes, 53% like it
I Really Hate Reverse Psychology. Or Do I?
of 721 votes, 66% like it
Every Year, 500 People Drown Doing the Wave At Sporting Events.
of 535 votes, 41% like it
Thankfully I Lost That Mob of Screaming Fans.
of 516 votes, 40% like it
Rise Above Your Enemies. Then Throw Things Down On Their Heads.
of 579 votes, 51% like it
Did a Lightbulb Appear Over Edison's Head When He Invented It?
of 584 votes, 48% like it
Crime Doesn't Pay. It Just Takes Without Asking.
of 570 votes, 49% like it
Conservatives Find the Ninja Turtles To Be Too Radical.
of 584 votes, 45% like it
Swedes Don't Have Strange Names, They Were Just Bjorn That Way.
of 693 votes, 52% like it
The Meaning of Life is in Every Dictionary. What's the Confusion?
of 631 votes, 43% like it
Children Are Not the Future, Because By Then They'll Be Adults.
of 667 votes, 53% like it
If You Can Read This, My Invisibility Cloak Isn't Doing Its Job.
of 732 votes, 58% like it
In Theory, I'm a Brilliant Theoretical Scientist.
of 591 votes, 42% like it
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Oh, These Words. Carry On.
of 640 votes, 38% like it
Looney Toons Taught Me You Can Run on Air Until You Look Down.
of 719 votes, 56% like it
I Know I'm A Stranger, But I'm a Really Cool Stranger.
of 701 votes, 48% like it
Be a Non-Conformist. Everybody's Doin' It!
of 694 votes, 44% like it
That Reminds Me of a Boring Story I Take Forever To Tell.
of 892 votes, 66% like it
The Art of Conversation is, Like, Kinda Dead and Stuff.
of 734 votes, 56% like it
Complaining Loudly is Much More Fun Than Suffering in Silence.
of 645 votes, 46% like it
Santaclaustrophobia: The Fear of Jolly Fat Men in Tight Spaces.
of 605 votes, 34% like it
Jehovah's Witnesses Do Not Tell Each Other Knock-Knock Jokes.
of 648 votes, 35% like it
I Hear There's an 80% Chance of Small Talk About the Weather.
of 637 votes, 41% like it
My Love For Oxymorons is Bittersweet.
of 771 votes, 57% like it
I Listen To Bands That Don't Even Exist Yet.
of 892 votes, 66% like it
Screenwriters Are Always Plotting Something.
of 706 votes, 44% like it
Almost Everyone Who Insults Your Mom Doesn't Know Her. Relax.
of 745 votes, 48% like it
The Future Isn't What It Used To Be.
of 929 votes, 69% like it
Thinking Outside the Box is Hard When You're Trapped in a Cubicle
of 675 votes, 43% like it
Math Nerds Rarely Get Hurt Because There's Safety in Numbers.
of 662 votes, 40% like it
Nerds Dance To the Beat of Algorithms.
of 637 votes, 33% like it
Identity Theft is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
of 683 votes, 43% like it
When Fantasy & Nightmares Collide, Zombie Unicorns Are Born
of 707 votes, 43% like it
Mimes, Ninjas and Cholesterol: The Silent Killers
of 919 votes, 66% like it
A Good Friend Is Someone Who Eats All the Black Jellybeans.
of 750 votes, 47% like it
The Thesaurus Was the Most Meaning Full of All Dinosaurs
of 757 votes, 42% like it
An Innocent Game of Tic-Tac-Toe Sometimes Ends in XXX
of 741 votes, 39% like it
You Can't Spell "SARCASM" Without "LETTERS"
of 830 votes, 52% like it
Everything Was So Much Cooler Back In The Ice Age.
of 767 votes, 45% like it
I Listen to Christian Death Metal Just to Confuse the Devil
of 818 votes, 50% like it
(on back) If This is Getting Easier to Read, I Am Moonwalking
of 822 votes, 51% like it
I've Tried to Cut Down on My Exaggerating a Million Times!
of 808 votes, 38% like it
I Know My Left and Right Ventricles By Heart.
of 796 votes, 38% like it
Today, I Think I'll Turn My Life into a Five-Part Musical.
of 845 votes, 36% like it
Straight Tetris Piece, You Complete Me.
of 877 votes, 46% like it
Leap Years: Proof That Science Sometimes Cheats
of 969 votes, 57% like it
Penguins in Our Living Rooms: The One Upside to Global Warming
of 828 votes, 38% like it
Knowing is Half the Battle. The Other Half is Killing People.
of 959 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Know What to Think of Indecisive People
of 941 votes, 48% like it
Forget Terrorists, Why Haven't We Captured Carmen Sandiego Yet?
of 1302 votes, 70% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only Use It To Piss Off Historians
of 866 votes, 38% like it
I Sneak My Inner Child Into "R" Rated Movies
of 927 votes, 38% like it
Sometimes I Wish I Could Shoot Turtle Shells Out of my Car
of 894 votes, 37% like it
My Life is Loosely Based on a True Story.
of 943 votes, 46% like it
Chess is Checkers Made Unnecessarily Hard
of 946 votes, 46% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm In An Exclamatory Mood Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
"Don't Quote Me on This!" - Me
of 45 votes, 22% like it
"Excuse Me While I Slip Onto Someone More Comfortable."
of 44 votes, 16% like it
"Hey Night, You Really Need to Lighten Up." -The Sun
of 51 votes, 25% like it
"So A Joke Walks Into A Bar..."
of 41 votes, 27% like it
"What if We ARE in the Matrix!?!" Said the Stoned Teen
of 36 votes, 11% like it
"X" Marks the Wrong Test Answer.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
'For A Limited Time' on TV Really Means 'Until the End of Time'.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
'I Have The Best Quote Ever On My T-Shirt.' -Me
of 21 votes, 14% like it
'I' 'Survived' 'the' 'Apostrophe' 'Catastrophe.'
of 49 votes, 24% like it
'Only the Good Die Young' Is Far From the Truth in Videogames.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
'The Person Wearing Me Is Really Awesome.' - T-Shirt
of 29 votes, 28% like it
'Thunder And Lightning Is Very Very Frightening.' -Galileo
of 18 votes, 28% like it
'Wow, That Shirt Can Read My Mind!' I Though To Myself...
of 51 votes, 22% like it
(baby) Of Course I Cry. I See What's Up People's Noses All Day.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
(back) Why Do I Get The Feeling My Shirt’s On Backwards?
of 63 votes, 29% like it
(For Babies) I Saw It With My Own Eyes: My Daddy is Santa Claus!
of 4 votes, 25% like it
(For Babies) Is My Hair Gonna Grow, Or Am I Already Going Bald?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
(For Babies) Why Are Adults More Amused By Cartoons Than I Am?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
(front) Should Be on the Back. (back) Should Be on the Front.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
(Front) +3 Magic Armor ; (Back) -52 Popularity Magnet
of 42 votes, 10% like it
(front) It Was The Chicken. (back) It Was The Egg.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
(front) My Good Cop Profile / (back) My Bad Cop Profile
of 38 votes, 11% like it
(glow ink) Radiation Makes My Heart Feel All Aglow.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
(glow) This Sentence Looks Much Cooler At Night.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
(grammar junkies and astronomers love looking at solar ellipses)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(In An MPAA box) THIS LIFE IS NOT YET RATED.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
(in big type) ROAR! (in small type) did my t-shirt scare you?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
(in big type) WORD. (in small) and here's a few more words too.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
(in Braille w/english translation below) Please Don't Touch!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
(in cut-out-letter typeface) I LOVE WRITING RANSOM NOTES
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(in gold foil) Shiny Things Distract Me Too!
of 50 votes, 30% like it
(in gold print): I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
(in tiny writing) bigger is better.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
(like a store sign) My Mind: Yes, We're Open!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
(Note On Back of Shirt): Gone On Banana Pilgrimage / -Monkey
of 33 votes, 9% like it
(numbers ALL over the shirt) I'm Told There's Safety In Numbers.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
(on a crazy shirt color) MY SHIRT'S VOLUME IS STUCK ON 'LOUD'.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
(on a red shirt) This Shirt is Really Yellow in Disguise.
of 101 votes, 9% like it
(on a road sign) FINGER CROSSING
of 32 votes, 13% like it
(on a slant) Do You Ever Get A Sinking Feeling?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
(on a wifebeater) This Shirt In No Way Supports Spousal Abuse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
(on back) Backstabbers, Please Take Your Knives Elsewhere!
of 115 votes, 50% like it
(on back) I'm Not A Fan Of Backstabbers.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
(on front) Sometimes My Reactions Are a Bit... (on back) Delayed.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
(on green) Wearing This Color is Actually Pretty Damned Easy.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(on red) Boy, Is My Face and Shirt Read.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
(on red) I'm Extremely Well-Red.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
(on red) If You See Me Running, A Bull Is Probably Behind Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
(on red) This Is The Shirt I Wear To Annoy Bulls.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
(on yellow) This is My Camouflage To Blend in With Yellow Snow.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
(out-of-focus) I'm So Glad I Have 20/20 Eyesight.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(reversed) I Love Chasing Ambulances.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
(road sign) CAUTION: Falling Stars For The Next 25,000 Miles.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
(this is my indoor voice) AND THIS IS MY OUTDOOR VOICE
of 63 votes, 33% like it
(this is my indoor voice) AND THIS IS MY OUTDOOR VOICE <--(In
of 1 votes, 0% like it
(tiny writing on shirt) so this is what you look like squinting.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
(upside-down) I'm A Hand-Stand Enthusiast.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
(w/a drawing of eyeglasses) Does My Slogan Seem More Intelligent?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
(with a paint brush and splashes) Who Arted?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
(WITH GLOSSY INK) Shiny Stuff Distracts Me Too.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
(Written In a Circle) Who Says Nothing Lasts Forever?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
*Grammatical Danger Seekers Love To Take AsteRISKS.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
*obscure pop culture reference only myself and five others get*
of 26 votes, 19% like it
+H!$ $H!R+ !$ M@/) $YMB0/_ ! <
of 48 votes, 6% like it
100 People Were Surveyed and the #1 Answer Was "You".
of 47 votes, 13% like it
18 Out of 23 People Agree That This is a Strange Number to Sample
of 44 votes, 25% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever & Incredibly Humbl
of 2 votes, 0% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever and Incredibly Humble.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
2nd Grade: A Golden Age For the "Rubber/Glue" Comeback
of 35 votes, 14% like it
4 of 5 Insane Doctors Regularly Prescribe The Silent Treatment.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That Doctors Agreeing Means Nothing
of 48 votes, 17% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That You Do Not Exist.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
4 Out of 5 People Agree That the Most Popular Answer Is Right.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
4 Out of 5 People Prefer Actual Cake to Urinal Cakes.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
5 Out of 5 Dead People Agree That Silence is Golden.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
5 Out Of 5 People Agree They Are Dumb/Don't Listen To Questions.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
5 Out of 5 Zombies Agree: BRAIIIIIIINS!!!!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
8-Bit Gorillas Should Not Be In Charge Of Oil Companies.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
90% of the Time I'm Right; 20% of the Time I'm Just Being Ironic.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Book’s Mood Can Be So Hard To Read.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
A Can Play Two Double-Guitars At Once.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Chainsaw Beats Rocks, Paper, Scissors.
of 312 votes, 29% like it
A Chemistree Is Hard To Plant Because Of Its Square Roots.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
A Deer Caught In Headlights Feels A Lot Like This.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
A Dollar Coin is Money That Hasn't Yet Evolved.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
A Family Of Skeletons Keep All Their Clothes In My Closet.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
A Fear Of Flying Is Odd Because I Wasn't Aware Humans Could Fly.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
A Fortune Cookie Told Me I'd Change The World One Day. In Bed.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
A Friend of My Cousin's Sister Created All the Urban Legends
of 46 votes, 24% like it
A Giant Banana Peel Caused The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
A Hitman Comedian Slays His Audience Every Night
of 39 votes, 13% like it
A Homosapien Is Just a Link on the Chain Towards Floating Brains
of 46 votes, 11% like it
A Key Grip's Real Job is Murdering People For the Director.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
A Lawyer's Favorite Amusement Park Ride Is 'The Loophole'.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
A Leap Of Faith Is Easier To Land If You Plan It All Out First.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
A Librarian Once Gave Me A Speed Reading Ticket.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
A Lifetime of Wrongs Don't Make a Last Rite.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
A Magician's Best Trick Is Making Their Coolness Disappear.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
A Mirror Is Never the Same After Its First Break-Up.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
A Mouse Is Easier To Catch When It's Attached To Your Computer.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
A Ninja's Imaginary Friend Is Easier To Spot Than The Ninja.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
A Once-in-a-Lifetime Miracle Just Happened Behind You.
of 212 votes, 32% like it
A Penny Saved Is Another Penny To Be Lost In The Couch Cushion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
A Person Who Can Do Almost Everything Can Actually Do Nothing.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Of These Things.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, A Frame Only An Ellipses.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
A Picture Is Worth More But Not As Cool As This Shirt.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
A Pinky Swear Is Still Considered Cursing.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
A Rap Star's Part-Time Job is Throwing Money At Cameras.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
A RONDAM T-SRIHT PORGARM CMAE UP WTIH TIHS SLOAGN.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
A Rose By Any Other Name Is A Different Flower.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
A Sandwich's Circulatory System Runs On Peanut Butter and Jelly.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
A Satanist's Worse Fear is Going to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
A Smiling Flamethrower is Not a Good Example of Friendly Fire.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
A Space Shuttle Hot Iron Would Easily Fix A Wrinkle In Time.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
A Store's Penny Tray Can Buy You A Lifetime Supply Of Thoughts.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
A Ton of Falling Bricks Are Really Good at Flattery.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
A Vampire's Least Favorite Food Is Stake.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
A Vomitorium is NOT What It Sounds Like.
of 44 votes, 5% like it
A Vulcan Serial Killer is Psycho Logical.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
A Waffle Iron Makes Your Shirt All Sticky.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
A Wrinkle In Time Caused The Cosmos To Get A Face-Lift.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
A Wrinkle in Time Needs to Be Ironed Properly.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
ABRACADABRA!: The Ultimate Curse Word.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Achieving Immortality Is A Cause Worth Dying For
of 106 votes, 17% like it
ACHIEVING IMMORTALITY: Finally, A Cause Worth Dying For.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Acid Rain Proves That The Sky Is Trying To Get You High.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Acrobats Do Cartwheels in Their Graves Instead of Spinning.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Act 1: U Read Shirt Act 2: U Are Confused Act 3: U Get the Joke!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Action Movies Are In Need Of Some Hugs & A Poetry Reading.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Action Movies Have Explosions, Thrillers Have Dancing Zombies.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
Action Movies Speak Louder Than Critic's Blurbs.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Actions Speak Louder Than Words Only To Insane People.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Actually, Swan Songs Are Usually Loud and Honky.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
ADD. It's as Easy as One, Two, Trees.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Addition Signs Are Really Two Lines Gettin' It On.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Adjectives Are Quite Wonderful, Delightful, Fantastic.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Adjusted For Inflation, I'm Actually One In A Trillion.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Admiring Rainbows Doesn't Neccassarily Make You A Gay Leprechaun.
of 151 votes, 38% like it
Admit It, You Were Hoping This Shirt Was About You, Weren't You?
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Adorable, Fluffy Kittens Wanted For Useless & Painful Experiments
of 66 votes, 21% like it
Adventurous Musicians Love to Bar Hop.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
Adverbs Are Astronomically, Unimaginably, Fantastically Cool.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
After Building a Middle School, Some Assemblies Are Required.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
After Exercising, I Can Open Up My Own Sweat Shop.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Hired a Detective Agency To Find It.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Remembered It Was Under the Car Seat
of 47 votes, 36% like it
After Reading This, Whatever I Say Has GOT To Be More Clever.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
After Reading This, Your Eyes Will Self-Destruct In 3,2,1...
of 32 votes, 13% like it
against all odds, my heart remains as open as a child's eyes.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Agoraphobics Tell The Best Inside Jokes.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Air Ducts are Quite Good at Venting Their Frustrations
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Air Guitar Is For Amateurs, I Play Air Orchestra.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Air Has a Monopoly on the Entire Breathing Marketplace.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Air Pollution Is Really Us Giving the Earth a Sinus Infection.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Aliens Are Always Looking Down On Earthlings.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Aliens Are So Xenophobic.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Aliens Can Moonwalk Way Better Than Any Human.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Aliens Eat Their Dinners on Saucers
of 88 votes, 14% like it
All A Volcano Needs Is A Hot Spa Treatment To Settle Down.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All Alarm Clocks Should Be Murdered.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All Atlantis Needed Was a Really Good Plumber
of 202 votes, 34% like it
All Good Things Must Come To A Fork In The Road.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All I Got From the Boston Tee Party Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
All I Hear Are Charlie Brown's Trombone Parents When You Talk
of 28 votes, 4% like it
All It Takes Is One Power Pellet To Rid A Haunted House Of Ghosts
of 17 votes, 12% like it
All My Favorite Space Sports Are Played On Asteroid Fields.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
All My Favorite Videogame Plumbers Travel At Warp Speed.
of 27 votes, 41% like it
All Of The Funniest T-Shirts Weren't On Sale.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
All Stereotypes Have Stupid Looking Letters
of 52 votes, 6% like it
All That Glitters Isn't Gold. It Might Be A Vampire.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
All the People Who Speak in Absolutes Make Me Sick.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
All the Personalities In My Head Use Their Inside Voices
of 36 votes, 19% like it
All The World's A Stage, But I Have Terrible Stage Fright.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
All This Pointless Violence in Life Makes Me Wanna Break Things.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
All Those Stolen Glances At Me Could Wind You Up in the Slammer.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
All Traffic Lights Should Go Green.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
All You Need Is Love, If Love Provides You With Air, Food & W
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Alternative Energy Sources Are Grungy And Wear Too Much Flannel.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Always Eat Your Vegetables, But Never Eat A Mushroom Cloud.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Always Look Both Ways At The Same Time When Crossing The Street.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Always Question Advice You Read Off Of T-Shirts.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
Always Remember To Pace Yourself, Except During A Duel.
of 68 votes, 24% like it
Always Trust Ur Instincts, Unless They Tell You To Punch a Zebra.
of 85 votes, 34% like it
Always Trust Your Instincts, Unless They Tell U To Punch a Zebra
of 123 votes, 16% like it
Am I Going Insane, Or is That Just a Bunch of Crazy Talk?
of 54 votes, 15% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Friendster?!?!?!
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Kazaa?!?!?!?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Ambitious Career Pigeons Sometimes Whack Into The Glass Ceiling.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Americans and Mexicans Agree: 'No' Means 'No'!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
An Air Gun Is The Best Way To Hunt Dust Bunnies.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
An Apple a Day Keeps Adam and Eve in Eternal Sin.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
An Artichoke Warns You Right In Its Name Not To Eat It.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
An Asteroid Belt Makes A Fashionable Planetary Accessory.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
An Avalanche is Really Mountain Dandruff
of 38 votes, 13% like it
An Eye For An Eye Isn't So Bad If You're Into Eyepatch Fashion.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
Ancient Rome is Totally Ruined.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
And that's how fireworks are made.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Anecdote Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Angel/Devil Couples Have Extremely Long-Distance Relationships.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Angels Not Old Enough For the Real Thing Play Harp Hero.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Annoyed at the hardcore penetration of sexual innuendo on shirts
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Anti-Pasta Salads Are Biased Against Rigatoni.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Any Car Can Be a Compact If You Hit Enough Trees.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
Any Minefields Are Now Considered Yourfields.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Anyone Who Dares Read This Shirt Shall Die! Well, Eventually.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Apathetic People, Wave Ur Hands in the Air Like U Just Don't Care
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Apparently People Used To Sing In Barber Shops More Than Cut Hair
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Apparently, Giant Red Drink Pitchers Really Hate Brick Walls.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Apple Trees Are Really High-Rise Worm Condominiums.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Archaeologists Have Lots Of Bones To Pick.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Architects Construct Ideas; Philosophers Deconstruct Ideas.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Are "Fun Size" Candy Portions Trying To Be Ironic?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Are the Men With Nets From the Booby Hatch Gone Yet?
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Are There Fire Escapes On The Stairway To Heaven?
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Are We Too Dependant On Technology? Click Your Mouse Once For Yes
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Are You Hearing Voices In Your Head While Reading This?
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Are You The Driver Or Gunner In The Tank Of Life?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Aren't Rhetorical Questions Awesome?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
Arm Bands Never Break a Sweat While They Rock Out.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Arrows Are So Pushy, Always Telling You Which Way To Go.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Arrows On One Way Signs Aren't The Boss Of Me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Arrows Should Know By Now It's Not Polite to Point.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Arrows Should Know It's Not Polite to Point.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
Art is the Alternative Energy Power Source I Thrive On.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Art Museums Are Worth A Million Words.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Articles Of Clothing Aren't Very Fun To Read.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Artists Are Always Broke From Overdrawing Their Bank Accounts.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Artists Are So Broke Because Their Bank Accounts Are Overdrawn.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Artists Build Their Homes Out of Construction Paper.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
As Opposed to Men, the Earth Gets Bigger the Colder it Becomes.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
As Time Has Shown Us, Flava Flav Was Obviously the Talented One.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Ask Me About My Love For Answering Questions
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Ask Me About My Love Of Talking.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
Ask Me For Directions to the Secret Warp Door.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Aspiring Clergymen Who Climb Up the Ranks Wear Cross-Trainers.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Aspiring Priests Like to Jog in Cross-Trainers
of 53 votes, 19% like it
Asterisks Are So Motherf**king Awesome!
of 66 votes, 33% like it
Astronauts Are Constantly Breaking the Law of Gravity.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Astronauts Are Only In It For the Free Parachute Ride.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
Astronauts Tend To Need More Space Than The Rest Of Us.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
Astronauts Would Hate It If Their Shuttle Was A Secret Missile.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
Astronomers Are Only Watching Stars Undress From Their Telescopes
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Astronomers Are the Peeping Toms of the Galaxy
of 37 votes, 24% like it
At Least Look Me In the Eye When You're Staring At Me.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
At Least Look Me in the Eye While You're Reading My Shirt.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
At Least My Emotional Baggage Has Really Cute Love Handles.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
At Least Pollution Turns Our Water Supplies Pretty Colors.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
At This Stage of My Life, I'm Only a Mildly Perturbed Scientist.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put His Hands.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put Its Hands.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Atari E.T. Record Holder For Most Time Spent Stuck in a Hole
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not As Bad As Missle Toe.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not Nearly As Painful As Missle Toe.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Atoms Split When Their Relationships Are Going Nowhere.
of 41 votes, 37% like it
Avian Is The Word.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Awesome Chase Sequence Needed For a Future Film About My Life
of 145 votes, 17% like it
Babble-On Was the Ancient City of Talk Show Hosts.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Babies: Give Them a Little Time, and They'll Grow on You.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
Baby Astronauts Sometimes Need Boosters For Their Rocket Seats.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Baby Birds Looking Through Windows from Treetops Are Peeping.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Baby Cameras Love to Play With Dollies.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
Baby Talk is a Universal Language.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Back In My Day We Only Had T-Shirts With Words On Them.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Back in My Day, Slogans Were Only Made For Billboards!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Back In My Day, Televisions Were Square And We Were Fine With It.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Badminton Pros Love To Skillfully Finesse Their Shuttlecock
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Baked Alaska Is A Delicious Global Warming Dinner Treat.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Baking Soda Only Comes In One Flavor: Disgusting.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Balloons Don't Like Listening To Pop Music.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
Balloons Like To Get High On Helium.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Ban Leprechaun Poaching. Rainbows Are Endangered!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Ban Words On Shirts! Also, More Irony On Tees Please!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Banding Together & Attacking Humans is For 'The Birds'.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Banks Are Such Loaners.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Banks With Only One Branch Are Such Loaners.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Bartender, The Philosophy Major's Glass Is Half Empty, Fill It Up
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Baseball Diamonds Are Really Hard To Wear On Your Finger.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bathrooms Celebrate Birthdays With Urinal Cakes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Be A Non-Conformist. Don't Listen to What Simon Says.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
Be a Widescreen Personality In a Pan-And-Scan World.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Be Careful of Deer Droppings From the Sky During Christmas Time.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Be Kind & Please Rewind Your DVDs.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Be Like a Meteor Shower and Make Daily Impacts.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
Be The First One To Yawn To Be A Leader, Not A Follower.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Bear Traps Are For Capturing Real Bears, I Use Picnic Baskets.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bears In Fairy Tales Live In Nicer Houses Than I Do.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
Beck is a Scientologist. Now I'm Scared.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
Beds Are An Adult’s Safety Zone In A Game Of Life Tag.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Beds Are So Easy, They’ll Sleep With Anyone.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
Bees Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Before Eating Meet Products You Should Introduce Yourself.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Before Gravity Was Invented, It Was Very Hard Finding Your House.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being A Breadwinner Is Fun, But I Prefer Getting Paid In Money.
of 76 votes, 39% like it
Being A Human Cannonball Isn't So Bad Until The Pirates Attack.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Being A Judge Sounds Pretty Cool With All The Free Recess Time.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Being a Sinner Gets You Front Row Tickets to the Armageddon Show.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Being Bit By a Zombie Is Only a Flesh Wound.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Being Clinically Insane Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Being In The Lap Of Luxury Is Actually Kind Of Creepy.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Being Irony-Deficient is the Number One Killer of Good Jokes
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Being Kinged In Checkers Is My Crowning Achievement.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Being Known As The Class Clown In Clown College Is A High Honor.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Being Lazy Sounds Like A lot Of Work.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being Mentally Challenged Every Day Keeps Your Brain In Shape.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Being Sleep Deprived is Like Going to a Funhouse For Free.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Bells Can’t Stand All The Ringing In Their Ears.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Bess Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Bet You Can't Make a New Word That Isn't Already in the Alphabet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Betsy Ross Made a 'Blinged-Out' Version of the Flag As Well.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Betsy Ross Recieved Plenty of Gold Stars From Her Teachers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Between The Civil And Rap Wars, All Of America Has Seen Battle.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Big Fires in Winter Can Give You 3rd Degree Freezer Burns.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Bike Salesmen Pedal Their Wares All Over the Place.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Bill Gates's Home is Quietly Plotting to Take Over the World
of 50 votes, 8% like it
Bill Gates's House = Intellectual Property
of 44 votes, 2% like it
Birds Are Not Impressed By My Flying Superpowers.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Birds That Go Skydiving Aren't As Extreme As It Sounds.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Black Giant Pool Balls Are My Favorite Form Of Magic.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Black Holes Could Really Use Some Color From The Sun.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Black Holes Could Really Use Some Colorful Redecorating.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Blink Your Left Eye Once If You Like To Wink.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Blowholes Are Like Living Water Fountains.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Bo Knows How to Disappear From the Spotlight
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Bo Knows No Longer.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Board Games Have Made Me Expect Money Around Parking Spaces.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Bogeymen Enjoy the Nightlife.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Bones Should Just Say No To Crack.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Boobs: The Best Proof Against the World Not Being Flat.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Booby Hatch Escapee
of 41 votes, 0% like it
Book Lovers Paint The Town Read.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside a Paper Jail Cell.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside Paper Jail Cells.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Books Are Excellent Story Tellers.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Books That Are Spineless Fall Apart Under Pressure.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Books Written In Body Language Don't Translate Very Well.
of 52 votes, 38% like it
Books: They're Just Like This Only Longer.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Bookworms Read Too Much Into Things.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
Bookworms Would Love To Receive A Life Sentence.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Cut the Number of Ninjas in Half.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Never Caught On in the Ninja Community.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Was The Ninja Class Clown's Downfall.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Bosses Perfect Their Downsizing Skills At Firing Ranges.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
Both Humans and Fire Love Oxygen. I See Potential Problems Here.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Both Men And Women Have Balls, It's Just In Their Eyes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Both Tennis Players And Pimps Need To Work On Their Backhand.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Bottomless Pits Are Even Scarier When They Go Topless.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
Bow-Chicka-Wow!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Boxers Tell The Best Punchlines.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Brains Can Be So Thoughtless.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Brains: The Thinking Person's Organ of Choice.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Break The Rules So Hard They Can't Be Glued Back Together.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
Breast Reductions Can Lead To Long-Term Mammary Loss.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Breathing Makes Me Feel Alive Inside.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Broken Mirrors Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Broken Televisions Have Bad Self-Image Problems.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
Bruise: The Forgotten Season After Spring & Fall.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Bruises Are The New Black & Blue.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Bug Zapping is Inhumane, I Prefer Fly Lethal Injection.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Building a Highway So My Ideas Don't Hurt As They Go Over Ur Head
of 38 votes, 11% like it
Bull Fighting: The Art of Lying About Your Sparring Skills.
of 50 votes, 20% like it
Bullets Don't Want To Be Violent, They Were Just Born That Way.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Bulls and Bears Are Nature's Monetary Experts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Bumbling Bees Sting Themselves By Accident.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
But I Already Quit My Day Job! Now What Do I Do?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
By Chuckling At This Tee, My Laughing Stock Goes Up in Value.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
By My Calculations, You Should Be Done Reading This Slogan...NOW.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Are Now Legally Required To Laugh.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Have Consented To Do My Laundry
of 104 votes, 17% like it
By Reading This You Are Now a Member of My Fan Club.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
By Reading This You've Just Triggered My Shirt's Silent Alarm.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Cache Moves Everything Around Me.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Call Me Crazy, But I Don't Like It When You Call Me Crazy.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Call Me Paranoid, But I Think You Just Called Me Paranoid.
of 56 votes, 25% like it
Camp Fires Are Like Miniature Versions Of Hell For Marshmallows.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Campfire Storytelling: The Original HDTV.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Can I Get You To Stop Correcting My Grammar?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Can Someone Tell Me What The Hell Satanism Is All About?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Can We Bring Metaphors Back to Rap Music PLEASE?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Can We Just Round Up to 3.15 And Be Done With It?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
Can You Age Grapes Into Wine Faster By Worrying Them?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Candlestick Jumping: The Fairy Tale Extreme Sport Of Choice.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Candy Canes Are The Most Delicious Choice For A Walking Stick.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Canine Cannibals Agree It's A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Capricorn = Unicorns Made Of Candy Corn.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Care To Conspire On a Theory With Me?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Careful Not To Get Waterlogged By The Size Of My Brainwaves.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
Careful of Theoretical Debris When Near a Deconstruction Site.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Careful! I Have Sharp, Witty Edges.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Careful, I Spilled An Entire Soda On My Last Magic Carpet Drive.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Careless Artists Overdraw Their Bank Accounts.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Carmen Sandiego Funds Terrorism
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Cars Run On Expensive Gas While My Body Runs On Feet.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
Castles Invented Moats To Keep Out People Like Me.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Catapults: Just Like Trampolines, But Only Needs One Jump.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Cats Are Glad They Live In A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
Cats Are Tired Of Your Pus*y Jokes.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Cats Create Things From Scratch.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Cats Who Love Videogames Have Eight 1Ups.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Cats: Because Lions Would Eat Us If We Tried To Pet Them.
of 69 votes, 29% like it
Causing Friction Between Your Fingers Is A Snap.
of 49 votes, 31% like it
Cemeteries Are Just Future Zombie Zoos.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
CEO & Chairman of the Bored
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Chain Smokers Have Rusty Teeth.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
Chain Wallets Demand Their Freedom From Your Pants NOW!
of 40 votes, 15% like it
Chalk Is Meant For Sidewalk Art, Not Blackboards.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Charming Zombies Are Such Man-Eaters.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Cheaters Are Only Cheating Themselves. To Higher Grades.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Check Your Ego At The Door. Also, Your Coat.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Chef Salad: Also Called 'Cannibal's Delight' In Some Circles.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Chickens Are Not Too Happy About Being The Most Popular Taste.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
Child Temper Tantrums Were The Original Stress Release Therapy.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Children Are A Great Midnight Snack. Wait, Is This Shirt On?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Chinese Pillow Fight Torture: Not as Painful as the Alternative.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
Choose Clarinets Not Bayonets
of 272 votes, 19% like it
ChristmaHanuKwanzica Sounds Like A Scientologist Holiday
of 41 votes, 10% like it
Circles Are Good People, But They've Got No Edge To Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Circles Are Terrible Square Dancers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Circles Can't Help It When They Sleep Around.
of 52 votes, 23% like it
Circles Sleep Around.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
Circles Tend To Sleep Around.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
Circles: You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angle-y.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are Like a Lazy Man's Time Travel.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
Clapping and Applause Go Hand-In-Hand.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Clark Kent Gets All His Fast Food Super-Sized.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Clever Shirts Are Easy. Boring Tees Take Guts To Wear.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Cliche T-Shirts Are Like A Dime A Dozen.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Cliff Diving: Because Even Rock Formations Need Extreme Sports.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
Cliffs Diving: The Extreme Sport That Skips to the Good Parts.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Climbing Beanstalks: Not As Much Fun As Stories Make It Out To Be
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Clocks Have Too Much Time on Their Hands.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
Clocks Know That Timing Is Everything.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Cloning Isn't Always Perfect. Cloning Isn't Always Prefect.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
Cloning Makes It Way More Fun to Play With Myself.
of 59 votes, 32% like it
Cloning Presents Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Cloning Someone Doesn't Take Much Originality.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Cloning: The Only Way To Really See How That Outfit Looks On You.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Clothes Make Me Suspicious About What Your Body's Hiding From Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Clouds Always Save Up For A Rainy Day.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
Clouds Are Nature's Warplanes Trying To Bomb Us With Acid Rain.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Clown College is No Laughing Matter.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Clowns Invest All Their Money In Laughing Stock.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Clumsy DJ's Drop Mad Beats.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Cobra Hates Us For Our Freedom.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
Colonel Sanders And General Tso Engage In World-Wide Food Fights.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Colors That Run Live Longer Than Those That Don't.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Come On Already Evolution, When Am I Gonna Grow Wings?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Coming Next Olympics: The Short & Long Distance Relationship
of 57 votes, 33% like it
Coming Soon: The Future! Now Our Feature Presentation:The Present
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Commercials Are Just Super-Sexy Mind Control.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
Computer Minesweeper is a Secret Army Recruitment Tool!
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Computer Nerds Like To Be Paid in Cache.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Computer Nerds Like You To Pay Them in Cache.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Computers Are Hiding Something, Why Else Would They Talk In Code?
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Computers Ctrl+S Lives
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Computers Never Change Their Image, They Refresh It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Con Artists Are Such Negative Illustrators.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Confucius Say Lots Of Confusing Things.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Confucius Say Wisdom Sounds Better After a Belly Full of Wontons.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
ConFusion: A Questionable Energy Source That Produces Lots Of Fog
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Conjunctions Are a Major Pain in the As.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Conjunctions Are Such a Pain in the As.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
CONTENTS: 99% Sarcasm, 1% Twinkies
of 53 votes, 17% like it
Continually Fielding Questions For My Imaginary Press Conference
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Cookies Cutters Think Humans Are All The Same Too.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Cooperation Means Others Working Together To Do Exactly As I Say.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Cooties: The Only Made-Up Virus Less Deadly Than The Real Ones.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Cops Aren't Being Inspirational When They Say Reach For The Sky.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Corn on the Cobweb Is Not As Tasty As It Sounds.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Corny Jokes Are A Good Source Of Vegetables.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
Cough Syrup? No Thanks, I Can Cough Just Fine On My Own.
of 58 votes, 16% like it
Counterfeiters Make Lots Of Money.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
Coupons Save Lives, But Only If You Save Two People At Once.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Cows Pass Dairy Air
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Crack Isn't Nearly As Tasty As Snap, Crackle Or Pop.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Crack: The Most Addictive Of All Onomatopoeia.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Crap! I Just Saw a Pig Flying Through the Air. Now What?
of 46 votes, 11% like it
Crap! My Psychology is Stuck in Reverse.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Creative Con-Artists Use Your Imagination.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Crickets Are the Only Ones Who Get The Punchlines Of My Jokes.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Criminals Who Are Bad At Grammar Receive Run-On Sentences.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Crip Vampires Are Always on a Hunt For Bloods.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
Crossing a Milestone Means It's a Mile Walk Back As Well.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Cruise Missles: The Chilled-Out Showboats of Heavy Artillery.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Crunk Bears From the South Go Into Hyphynation in the Winter.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Cubicles = Voluntary Jail Cells With Internet Access.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Cucumbers Tend To Lose Their Cool When Being Eaten.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Cupid Showed Me Tough Love With a Scalping After the Arrow Hit.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Cupid Shows Me Tough Love.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Cupid's Evil Twin Shoots Arrows Tipped With Tainted Love.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Cat Death Traps.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Currently Evolving
of 346 votes, 29% like it
Currently Hanging On To Reality By A Pinky Toe
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Currently Warming Myself With the Blood of My Broken Heart
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing To Swear By, Dammit!
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Curse Words. They're Nothing to Swear By.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Cut Me Some Slack, Unless The Rope Is About To Break.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Cute - As - a - Buttonhole.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Cute and Fuzzy Feelings Cause Global Warming
of 125 votes, 26% like it
Cute-As-a-Buttonhole.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Daddy, Where Did All the Native Americans Go?
of 61 votes, 18% like it
DAGNABBIT!!!!!
of 38 votes, 5% like it
Daisies Are Always Being Picked On.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Dancing in a Congo Line Might Get You Malaria.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Daredevil Vampires Sleep Inside Greenhouses During the Day.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Dating Water Vapor Is Boring Because It Lacks Substance.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Davey Jones Foot Locker Smells Like Dirty Socks & Dead Fish.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
Daydreams Are Just The Previews For Sleep's Feature Presentation.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Daylight Savings Knows How To Change With The Times.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Daylight Savings Return to Normal Prices When the Sun Goes Down.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Dead Hands Come Back To Life As Spirit Fingers.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For Making Roller Coasters Awesome!
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For The Water Slides And Roller Coasters!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Dear Mr. Rap Star, I Get You're a "Hustla", But Can U Rhyme?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Dear Quadruple Spacing, Thanks For Making 20 Page Papers Possible
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Dear Snuggie, You're Just A Cheap Couch Poncho.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Dear Sun, You Light Up My Life. (uv letter fill in)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Death is Just a Gate Way to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Death Metal Band Seeks Ukelele Player
of 164 votes, 23% like it
Death Squads Execute Their Jobs With Precision.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Just Trying To Win A Staring Contest With Your Car.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Deer Are Nature's Car Bombs.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Taking Over the Planet, One Carload At a Time.
of 33 votes, 3% like it
Demolition And Home Run Derbies Are Much More Fun When Combined.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Deserts Wouldn't Be As Bad If They Had Sand Bars.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Designers Garden By Cropping Their Photos.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Despite Its Name, Inhaling An Airplane Will NOT Help You Breathe.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Despite Their Name, Catepillars Can't Support As Much As A Column
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Deus Ex Machina: Greek For "Really Lame Movie Ending"
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Diamonds Are An Anti-Social Girl's Best Friend.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Dictionary (n): 1. The Thing You Are Reading Right Now, Dummy.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Did Monks Give Their Parents the Silent Treatment?
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Did Slow Motion Kick In When You Saw Me Walking Towards You?
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Did You Ever Notice That Most Observational Humor Isn't Funny?
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Did You Know Jesus Majored In Carpentry, But Minored In Science?
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Did You Know That 10 Out of 3 People Are Dyslexic?
of 119 votes, 17% like it
Did You Know That Gullibles Are Birds That Live By The Sea?
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Didn't Your Mother Ever Teach You It's Not Polite To Stare?
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Diet Food Tastes Better When You Eat Several Pounds of It.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Digital Music is the .WAV of the Future!
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Dinosaur Party At My House! No Raptors Though, They Get Too Rowdy
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Do Airplanes Ever Chase Their Own Tails?
of 43 votes, 37% like it
Do New Magicians Saw People in Half Before They Get It Right?
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Do Not Attempt a Cannonball Into a Pool Table.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Do Not Bring Chips and Salsa to a Search Party.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
Do Not Jump Out of a Window While Wearing a Flight Jacket.
of 32 votes, 3% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If He Resides On The Sun.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If It Resides On The Sun.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
DO NOT READ THIS SHIRT! Uh-Oh... *world explodes*
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Do Not Sign On the Dotted Line When It's In the Middle of a Road.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Do Not Try These Stunts at Home. Go Out in Traffic First.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Do Not Use a Cacti As Your Pillow When Sleeping in a Flower Bed.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Do People Who Believe in Self-Sacrifice Belong To Secret Cults?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Do Stars Wish Upon Themselves?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Do Vegetarians Eat Rubber Chickens On Thanksgiving?
of 58 votes, 12% like it
Do What I Say Or Else I'm Gonna Issue More Idle Threats.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Do You Always Read People's Chests Before Saying Hello To Them?
of 40 votes, 20% like it
Do You Ever Get Lost In A Thought Of A Thought In A Thought Of A…
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Do You Have a Spare Ninja Star I Could Borrow?
of 63 votes, 16% like it
Do You Have an Outlet I Can Stick This Metal Spork Into?
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Do You Keep Secrets? Well Hand 'Em Over, This is a Stick Up!
of 26 votes, 4% like it
Do You Like Throwing Money in Videos? You Too Can Be a Rap Star!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Do You Want To Be An Individual? Hey, Join the Club.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Does Being Short-Sighted Mean You Can Only See Little People?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Does Driving A Sports Car Count As Being an Athlete?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Does My Chest REALLY Have to Entertain You?
of 41 votes, 12% like it
Does My Soul Look Too Big in This Shirt?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Does Nature Look At Science And Go 'I Shoulda Thought Of That!'
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Does the Human Wearing Me Make Me Look Too Stretched Out?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Does The Sun Ever Want To Stand In The Shade From Itself?
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Does The Sun Run On Oil or Solar Power?
of 38 votes, 39% like it
Dogs Could Read Books If You Translated Them Into Barks.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Dogs: They Hate Cats and Play Lots of Poker.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Domesticated Animals Are Really Into Heavy Petting.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Don't Be Colorblind, Life's Problems Are Not Just Black Or White.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Don't Beat Yourself Up So Much. Here, Let Me Do It.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Don't Blame Me. I'm Just the Group's Hype Man.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
DON'T CALL ME PARANOID! You Did Just Call Me That, Right?
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Don't Eat Yellow Snow. Unless You Find Some In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Don't Even Think About Yawning After Reading This.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Don't Follow The Masses, You'll Only Wind Up Getting Fat.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Don't Judge the Old Lady Until You've Walked a Mile To Her Shoe.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Don't Just Take My Word For How Awesome I Am. Read the Shirt!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Don't Let the Musical Chairs in the Mosh Pit.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
Don't Let the Person Wearing This Know I've Gone. Thanks, Slogan
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Don't Live A Selfish Life. That Way You Can Give Me More Stuff.
of 57 votes, 18% like it
Don't Make Any Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Don't Make Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Don't Tell Humpty Dumpty Any Jokes Or He'll Crack Up.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Don't Tell My Patients, But I Called Out Sick From Work Today.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Don't Use Double-Negative Reverse Psychology on Me.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Don't Walk Signs Say Nothing About Rolling Across The Street.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Don't Worry, I Only Murder People When I'm On Vacation.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Don't Yell "Who's Your Daddy?" At Jesus. God Will Smit
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Don't You Hate When T-Shirt Slogans Waste Your Time?
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Doughnuts Love Our Taste Buds But Hate The Rest Of Our Body.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Drag Racing's Main Event: The Cross-Country Cross-Dressing Relay.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Drinking A Spot Of Tea Doesn't Sound Very Filling.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
Drinking Kills. Especially If You Are Drinking Poison.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Drinking Scotch Tape Will Not Get You Drunk.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Drop Knowledge Not Names.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Dropping a Wine Bottle Breaks My Spirits.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drum Circles Are The Grooviest Of All Geometric Shapes.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Drum Rolls Sound Better Than They Taste.
of 56 votes, 23% like it
Drums Are Getting Sick and Tired of Always Being Beaten.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drums Are Sick and Tired of Being Beaten.
of 83 votes, 31% like it
Due To Unforeseen Events, I Need New Glasses.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Duelists Don't Run For Exercise, They Pace.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Dumb Luck Does Not Appreciate All The Name-Calling.
of 42 votes, 14% like it
Dunk Tanks: Like Walking The Plank, Only With Less Certain Death.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
During A Full Moon, I Moon Back.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Dust Bunnies Are Easier To Trap Around Easter Time.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
DYSFUNCTION: A Game The Whole Family Can Play!
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Ear Drums Are Very Difficult To Bang On and Not Break
of 41 votes, 17% like it
Earth Day Is Now Known As 'Help Mankind Survive Another Year' Day
of 46 votes, 13% like it
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Dancing.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Slam-Dancing.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
Earthquakes: The #1 Lawbreaker Of Library Quiet Zones.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Eat your mushrooms and veggies to grow up big like Mario
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Eating Angel Hair Pasta Is a Creepy Way To Get Closer To Heaven.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Eating Candy You Took From A Baby Tastes All The More Sweet.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Eating Nuclear Waste Is What Gives Me Such A Nice Glow.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
Eating Too Many Magic Beans Makes You Fart Beanstalks.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Eating With A Tuning Fork Tastes Like Music To My Mouth.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Ebony and Irony
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Economic Innuendo Highly Stimulates A Rising Marketplace.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Economy Time Travel Stinks When Have A Layover In Medieval Ages.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Eeep Op Ork Ah-Ah: That Means I Love U
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Electric Eels: The Lightning Bolts Of The Sea.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Electrical Transformers Are Much Less Fun To Play With.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Fun To Play With As They Sound.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Much Fun As The Cartoon Show.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
Electrocution: The #1 Cause Of Death For Lightning Bolts.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
Elevators: Flipping Off Gravity Since 1880.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Elevators: Giving The Middle Finger To Gravity Since 1880.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
Elitists Play Air Mandolin.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Emoticons Do Not Count As Punctuation.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Emotional Roller Coasters Are Both Awesome and Boring To Ride.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Encyclopedias Are Really Mad The Internet Stole Their Gig.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
End Water Violence By Keeping Swimming Pools Free Of Cannonballs.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
End-Of-The-World Talk Gives the Earth Self-Esteem Issues.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Ending Human Rule Will Start the Glorious Rise of the Cockroach.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Ending Poverty Will Bankrupt the Stick & Handkerchief Market!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Energy Drink Guzzlers Are A Bunch Of Radical X-TREMEists.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Engrish is My Second Luggage.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
Entertain Yourself, Dammit!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Environmentalists Vs. The Irish: Who Loves Green The Most?
of 54 votes, 33% like it
Equine Never Follow The 'No Horseplay' Signs.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
esrever ygolohcysp t'nseod .krow
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Eve And Sleeping Beauties Have Convinced Me That Fruit Is Evil.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Even Large Bodies Of Water Can Get Sensitive About Their Figure.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
Even My Imaginary Friends Steal My Lunch Money.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Even Paul Reveres Me
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Even The International Date Line Wouldn't Go Out With You.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Even When It's Well-Behaved, Grass Is Always Grounded.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
Every Cup You Drink From You've Made Out With. Think About It.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Every Day is the Start of a New Fact-Finding Expedition.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Every Day Someone Gives Up On Their Dreams. Don’t Be A Statistic.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
Every Day, Zombies Try To Live Undeath To Its Fullest.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Every Decision You Make Is Technically Life-Changing.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Every Once In a While This T-Shirt Throws Out Prizes!
of 58 votes, 24% like it
Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel Changes Shift.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Every Time I Argue With Mario, He Tries To 1Up Me.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Every Time I Defy Gravity, It Grounds Me.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
Every Time I Go Bass Fishing The Water Blows Out My Speakers.
of 62 votes, 23% like it
Every Time I Have Searing Leg Pain, I Get a Sense of Deja Voodoo.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Every Time I Put Them Down, My Books Won't Stop Paging Me.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Every Time I Rub A Genie Lamp, I Get Sued For Harassment.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Every Time It Snows I Feel The Globe Being Shaken Up.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Every Time You Clap, You Start A Fight Between Your Hands.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Every Time You Fall In Love With A Season, It Changes On You.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Every Time You Make My Heart Race, I Take the Checkered Flag.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
EVERYONE COME OVER AND READ MY SHIRT! (small) i hate crowds.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Everyone Gets Lost on the Way to My Pants Parties.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Everyone Gets This Shirt's Joke Except For You.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Everyone Treats the Apocalypse Like It's the End of the World.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Everyone's Raving About My Techno Dance Parties!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
Everything's Coming Up Roses, But I'm Allergic to Flowers.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Everywhere I Stand Will Become a Historical Landmark.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Evil Skeletons Are Bad To The Bone!
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Exclamation Points Are Just Periods With Levitating Hats!
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Exclamation Points Are Periods With ADD.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Exclamation Points Gone Wild!!!!!!!!!!
of 45 votes, 24% like it
Exercise Or Time Travel Are The Best Ways To Change Your Life.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
Exploding Stars Are Terrorists Trying To Take Down Our Galaxy!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Explosions Think People Are So Easy To Impress.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Extra Credit Points Are The Equivalent Of Nerd Catnip.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Extra Lives Always Try To 1-Up Me.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Extra Lives Are Always Trying To 1-Up Me.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Eye Lash Out Occasionally
of 47 votes, 13% like it
F**K CENSORSHIP!
of 69 votes, 14% like it
F**K THE POLICE! And Sting's Solo Career as Well!
of 32 votes, 6% like it
Fact: Kings Used To Be Crowned Over A Game Of Checkers.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
FACT: There Is No Such Thing as a True Fact.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Facts Are Just Theories That Haven't Been Proven Wrong Yet.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Facts: It's Funny Cause They're True.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Facts: They're Funny 'Cause It's True.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Failed Authors Will Make Great Ghost Writers When They Die.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Falling Asleep Always Hurts My Face.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Falling Asleep Is Easy, Just Recite From A to ZZZ.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fantastical Gold Rings Taught Me That All Life is PRECIOUS.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Fantasy Sports Could Use More Wizards And Orcs.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Fantasy Sports Is Playtime For People With No Imagination.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Fantasy Sports Leagues Need More Magical Trolls.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Farting: It's A Gas!
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Fashion-Forward Athletes Wear Their Jocks Strapless.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Fault Lines Have Very Low Self-Esteem.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
FEEL THE BURN. Then Run Some More Because Your Gym Is On Fire.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Feeling Relaxed Today? I Took Your Voodoo Doll To Get A Massage.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Feelings Can Get So Emotional At Times.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Fetal Is My Best Position To Play In Any Sport.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty. Don't Let Kids Play Monkey In The Middle.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Pets Can't See You Have Sex.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Puppy Can't See You Have Sex
of 84 votes, 15% like it
Fight Depression With Fists and Knives, Not Pills.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Fight Noise Pollution: Don't Listen to the Radio
of 21 votes, 10% like it
FIGHT THE POWER. Just Make Sure The Electricity Is Turned Off.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Filmmakers Always Try to Keep it Reel.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Finding a Haystack In a Needle Is Even Harder To Find.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
FINE!!! I'LL TURN DOWn THe VOLume Of This t-shirt. better?
of 45 votes, 16% like it
Fire Drills Do Not Make Good Home Improvement Tools.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fire Drills Make Lousy Home Improvement Tools.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Fire Must Be Really Dirty Since It Never Takes A Shower.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Fireworks Believe In Going Out With A Bang.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
First Thing's First, If It's The Last Thing I Do.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
Fish Don't Take A Shower In Their Entire Lives.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
Fish Love Everything About Music Except For The Hooks.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
Fish Take Only One Shower That Lasts Their Entire Lifetime.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Flaming Comets Are Just Attention-Seeking Space Rocks.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Flattery Doesn't Work On Such An Intelligent Person Like Yourself
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Flower Children Must Remain Seeded At All Times.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Fluent in Ten More Forms of Communication Than C3PO
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Flunked out of finishing school
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Flying By The Seat Of Your Pants Makes For Some Painful Landings.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Flying Is For The Birds.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Flying Sounds Fun Unless You Have To Be A Fly To Do It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Fog Are Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Fog Are Just Clouds That Were Given Bad Directions.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Got Lost on Their Way to the Sky.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Fog: The Cloud That Didn't Fit in With the Others.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
Folks Who Claim 'You Can't Win Em All' Musta Flunked Stat Class.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Follow Me to the Insanity Factory!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Following Others Leads To Nothing.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Some Water Might Help Too.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Water Might Help Too.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Foot-In-Mouth Disease Is Spreading So Please Speak Responsibly.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
For Every Action, There is An Action-Comedy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
For the Best Medicine, Try Laughtranex.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
For Time Travelers, The Future Is Now and Then.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
For Time Travelers, The Future Is Then.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Forget About Baby Steps, I Prefer Godzilla Stomps.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Forget Analog and Digital, I Tell Time By Sundial.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
Forget Lips, Loose Bolts Sink Ships.
of 58 votes, 26% like it
Forget Nude Beaches, Where Are The Double Parka Ones At?
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Forget Past & Future, I'll Take the Ghost of Christmas Presen
of 2 votes, 100% like it
Forget Ponies, I Want A Unicorn For My Next Birthday.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Forget Roses, Give The Vegetarian You Love A Dozen Cauliflowers.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Forget Witches & Wardrobes, Lions Make the Best Roaring Fire
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Former Inmates Rarely Live in Gated Communities.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Fortified With a Good Daily Balance of Vitamins & Ministers
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Fortunately, Most Vampires Have A Weakness For Stake Sandwiches.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Fortune Cookies Have '...In Bed', The Internet Has '...com'.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
Forward Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Forward-Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
Fractions: Breaking Up Number Families Since the Dawn of Math.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
Freaky Friday Pales in Comparison to Stromboli Saturday.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
FREE HUGS! (but letting go is gonna cost ya)
of 32 votes, 28% like it
FREE HUGS! Now Two For The Price Of One!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Free Readings Given Here! See, That Didn't Cost You Anything.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Free Your Mind In a Society That Charges You For Everything.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Freeze Tag: The REAL Cause Of The Ice Age.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Fresh Gingerbread Men Turn Me Into a Cookie Serial Killer.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Freudian Slips Can Injure Your Back.
of 361 votes, 34% like it
FRICKINAWESOME!!!
of 38 votes, 8% like it
Fruit Flies Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
Fruit Roll-Up Factory Employee
of 74 votes, 12% like it
Funny Slogans Are the Energy Drinks of the Sentence Family.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Futuristic Farmers Grow Their Vegetables On Force Fields.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Garbage Cans Can Be So Trashy.
of 44 votes, 34% like it
Generals Lead Some Of The Vaguest Armies In The World.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Generous Donor For the Legalization of Full Contact Ballet
of 23 votes, 4% like it
Geometry Problems Are Always Going Off On A Tangent.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, Toby Keith= Why America is Hated
of 36 votes, 28% like it
Germs Can't Hurt Me If I Haven't Learned About Them Yet.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Germs Really Make Me Sick!
of 33 votes, 36% like it
Getting A Good Education Is So Old-School.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
Getting Gored by a Unicorn Makes You Bleed Rainbows
of 202 votes, 27% like it
Getting Hit By An Ice Cream Truck Gives Me the Worst Headache.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Ghost Mob Bosses Are Completely Untouchable.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Ghost Writing Is A Great Career Option For The Afterlife.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Ghosts Always Come Back To Haunt Me.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Ghosts and Zombies: Partners For A Better Undead World.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Ghosts Like Haunting, But They Love To Write Books More.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Ghosts Mistakenly Make Boo-Boos All The Time.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Ghosts of Hobos are So Tortured Because They Can't Haunt Indoors.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
Ghosts That Haunt Mansions Enjoy a Nicer Lifestyle Than Me
of 44 votes, 23% like it
Ghosts Who Haunt Didn't Get Enough Attention In Life.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Ghosts Who Spend All Their Time Haunting Should Live A Little.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
Gigantic Earth-Colliding Meteors Have Feelings Too.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Giraffes: Nature's Most Useless Step-Ladder.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Giving a Taste of My Own Medicine Actually Improves My Health.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Giving Away 10,000 Bananas To a Monkey Smart Enough to Read This!
of 110 votes, 15% like it
Glaciers Are Just Pirate Ships For Abominable Snowmen.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Glass Ceilings Are Sad People Always Want To Break Them.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Global Warming is For Hot Lovers.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Global Warming is Nature's Way of Saying 'Get Off My Property!'
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Global Warming Is The Sun's Rage Over The Lightbulb's Invention.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Global Warming Liars Will Soon Find Their Pants on Fire.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Global Warming vs Nuclear Holocaust: The Battle is On!
of 60 votes, 27% like it
Globes Are Excellent Fantasies of the World If It Wasn't Flat.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Globes Show Us What the World Would Look Like If It Wasn't Flat.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Glue: It Brings People Together. And Never Lets Them Go.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
GNISU TON MA I ESREVER YGOLOHCYSP THGIR OUY NO .WON
of 15 votes, 7% like it
GNISU TON MA I ESREVER YGOLOHCYSP THGIR UOY NO .WON
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Go Play With a Child's Toy: You Might Learn Something You Missed
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Go To Hell. That's Not An Insult, It's A Travel Suggestion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
God Smites Those That Taunt Jesus By Yelling "Who's Your Dad
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Godliness Smells Like Lemon-Scented Cleaning Products.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
Going In a Drive-Thru Causes Structural Damage.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Going On a Power Trip Is Not a Source of Alternative Energy.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Going On Holiday Sounds Way More Fun Than Taking A Vacation.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Going To Prison For Illegally Downloading Bananarama
of 86 votes, 16% like it
Golden Geese Keep Their Money Tied Up In Nest Eggs.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Good Music: I Like That Sound Of That.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Gosh Darn Censorship Can Kiss My Tail Feathers!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Grammar Is Still Hanging On To The Belief Of A Present-Perfect.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Gravity Is Holding Me Back From Reaching The Stars.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Gravity Is Just A Plot To Keep Us Buying Airplane Tickets.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Gravity is the First Sign of a Needy Planet
of 220 votes, 34% like it
Gravity Might Make You Fall, But It Also Makes Roller Coasters.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Gravity Spoils All Our Fun By Yelling At Us To Keep It Down!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Grenades Are Just Bursting With Flying Shrapnels of Love.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Guitars Are Always Willing To Hear Loud Feedback.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Gum Is Tired Of Being Chewed Up And Carelessly Spit Out.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, Robots With Bazookas Attached To Them Do
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, They Give Birth To Violent Bullet Babies.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Gymnists Tell Jokes Through Hand Stand-Up Comedy.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Ha Ha Ha! I Heard You're Made of Molecules!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Haha, You've Just Been Caught In My Booby Trap.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Hair Stylists Dye For Your Sins.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hammers And Drumsticks Must Get Headaches All The Time.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
Happy Endings: Beloved In Fairy Tales And Massage Parlors Alike.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Hate Is a Strong Word, That's Why I Use It To Lift Heavy Things.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
Have a Great Day, Cause the Vampires Will Be Out in Force Soon.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Have a Happy Whatever the Hell Scientoligists Celebrate!
of 75 votes, 25% like it
Have Any Water? I Gotta Drown Out These Voices Pronto.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Have U Hugged a Zombie Today? Well, That's Probably a Good Thing.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
Have Violent Sex, Not War
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Have You Seen Any Screws Lying Around? One Of Mine Came Loose.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
He Who Casts The First Stone Is Probably Making A Bad Movie.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Headbanging Is Your Body's Way Of Voting 'YES' To Good Music.
of 45 votes, 31% like it
Health Care Companies Should Be Re-Named Health Who Cares?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Help! A Shadowy Figure On The Ground Keeps Following Me!
of 26 votes, 31% like it
HELP! Have You Seen The Panic Button?!?! I Can't Find It!!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Help! My Shirt Has A Severe Letter Infestation!
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hey Guess What? You’re Waiting To Hear What A Shirt Has To Say.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Hey Math- If You've Got A Problem,Yo I'll Solve It.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Hey Zombies, Isn't It About Time You Expanded Your Menu?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Hey, You Wanna Party? Cool, I'll Get The Balloons And Cake!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Hi, I'm Satan's Assistant & I Dropped a Handbasket. Seen It?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Hi, I'm the One Who Spams Your E-Mail Accounts 23 Hours a Day!
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Hi. I Don't Think I Know You. Do You Have Any Candy?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Hibernation Is A Lazy Sunday Gone Insane.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
Hide And Seek Is Not As Fun To Play In The Desert.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
High Five > Fist Bump
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Hiking On A Warpath Is So Violent For My Feet.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Hippie Galaxies Are Way Far-Out.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
History Books From Long Ago Didn't Have Much To Write About Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
History Repeats Only in the Summertime Between New Seasons.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
History Spends Too Much Time Thinking About The Past.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Hollywood: The Town That Gossip Built.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Home Is Where The Heart Is. It's Also Known As My Ribcage.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Horny Artistic People Are Pro Create.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Horseplay Is The #1 Cause of Equine-Related Detentions.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Hot Coal Is For Amateurs After You've Been Walking On Sunshine.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Hot Dogs Are Really Good At Having Frank Discussions.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Hotels Get Revenge By Trashing Rock Star Houses.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
House Calls Are Really Hard To Imitate.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
How Am I Broke With Such a Wealth of Useless Information?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
How Am I So Broke With This Wealth of Useless Information?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
How Come No One Can Write a Good Thong Song Anymore?
of 38 votes, 11% like it
How Come No One in "24" Ever Goes to the Bathroom?
of 84 votes, 18% like it
How Come No One Walks On Their Sides On A Sidewalk?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
How Come Stores Sell Heads Of Lettuce But Not The Body?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
How Is Playing Simon Says and Being Someone's Slave Different?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Hugging Is My Favorite Way To Stay In Touch With Friends.
of 64 votes, 27% like it
Human Innovation Is Moving Faster Than Human Evolution To Use It.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Humpty Dumpty Hates Winding Up With Egg On His Face.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Admit Having Faults, Like Having Too Much Awesome.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Adopt Pennies That Are Abandoned In Convenience Store Trays.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
I Always Wait Until the Last Second To Plan For the Future.
of 249 votes, 39% like it
I Am a Fully Licensed Mind Defragmenter
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Am A Trainer Of Training Wheels So That They Can Train Others.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Am Conducting Various Scientific Studies On How To Become Cool.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Am D.B. Cooper.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I Am Literally Full of Magical Robots Right Now.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I am moonwalking backwards right now
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Not Immature, But Your Mother Is.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
I Am Not Immature, Your Mother Is.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Am One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Collect Us All!
of 4 votes, 0% like it
I Am Really Dehydrated, So Pass Me Another Soda Please!
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Really Just a CGI Creation.
of 49 votes, 12% like it
I Am Telepathically Making You See Words On This Shirt Right Now.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
I Am Your Suggested Daily Serving Size of Awesome.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
I Appreciate the Comedy Of Skyscrapers On So Many Levels.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Ended The Thumb Wars.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Endeed The Thumb Wars.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Auditioned The Voices In My Head To Make Sure I Got The Best.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Believe In Past Lives. I Used To Have One Before I Got Old.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
I Believe In Truth In Advertising. This Isn't A Very Funny Shirt.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I Best Express How I Truly Feel About People Through Mixtapes.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
I Bet You Can't Say 'Toy Boat' Eight Times Fast.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Bite Bed Bugs Back!
of 93 votes, 19% like it
I Blame Videogame Gorillas For The Oil Spill.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Brake For Objects That Will Break Me.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
I Brake For Oncoming Accidents.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Breathe A Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen Is Around.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
I Breathe A Sigh of Relief Whenever Oxygen Is Around.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Breathe a Whole Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen is Around.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
I Broke A Witch's Curse. It Shattered All Over So I Had To Buy It
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Broke My Arm After Someone Threw Their Old Cast At Me.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Broke The Law Of Gravity And Was Arrested By The Sky Police.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
I Built A Time Machine, But All It Does Is Blink Midnight.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I Buried All The Skeletons In My Closet Out In The Desert.
of 59 votes, 14% like it
I Buy People Rounds Of Applause At Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Called Dibs On All Cookies As A Child, So Give 'Em Up!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Called Off The Search, But My Browser Went On Without Me.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I Came Up With a Great Excuse, But My Dog Ate It.
of 45 votes, 27% like it
I Can Chew Gum AND Wear This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Can Get Tounge-Tied In Fifty Different Knots!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
I Can Multitask Up To Two Things At Once!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Can Never Get My Anarchy Club Meetings To Come To Order.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
I Can Only Multitask One Thing at a Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Can Only Say Words Up To Two Sylla- Long.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I can predict the future: you're gonna be mad after reading this
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Can Read Lips, But Nobody Has a Tattoo of a Novel.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I Can See The Lips Moving In Your Mind As You Silently Read This.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Can Talk To Topical Cream About A Variety Of Subjects.
of 36 votes, 6% like it
I Can Talk To You Now That I'm Up-To-Date On Anti-Cootie Shots.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Can Walk and Spew Glum At the Same Time.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Can't Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Can't Decide If I'm Apathetic Or Just Plain Lazy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something Important.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Can't Find The State Of The Arts On A Map.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I Can't Hear You: I'm On an iPod Adventure Right Now.
of 100 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Program My Time Machine, It Just Keeps Blinking Midnight!
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I Can't Read. Good thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I Can't Read. Good Thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Speak For My Wearer, But This Shirt is Really Cool.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Can't Tell Time, He's Horrible At Keeping A Secret.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
I Can't Wait To Come Back As A Zombie After I Die.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
I Can't Wait Until a Flying Car Lands On My Head In The Future!
of 36 votes, 25% like it
I Can’t Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Carry Around An Umbrella In Case Of Falling Anvils.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Challenge Everyone To Be Less Competitive With One Another.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Choose To Be a Beggar.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I Choose to Be a Begger.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
I Choose To Suppress My Inner Soccer Mom.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Come From Several Generations Of Jellybean Farmers.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I Come From the Future To Tell You...We Still Wear Clever Shirts.
of 530 votes, 38% like it
I Come in Holiday Fun Size Portions
of 46 votes, 17% like it
I Conserve Energy By Driving Without Headlights On At Night.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I Could Be An Olympic Athlete If Pen Clicking Was A Sport.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
I Could Never Be a Server Because I Don't Take Orders Well.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Could Read Your Mind Easier If I Wasn't Illiterate.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Could Talk All Day About How Introverted I Am.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Counted To Infinity And Reached The End.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I Create, Therefore I’m Miserable
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I Cut a Hole Around You, But the World Collapsed Instead.
of 88 votes, 17% like it
I Dare You To Not Accept Pointless Challenges.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
I Deal With My Road Rage By Walking Around & Punching Folks.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Deserve More Credit, Mostly Because I Maxxed Out My Limit.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Being Stung By A Bee.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Getting Stung By A Bee.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying Moments After I Jumped Off A Cliff.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Did A Cannonball Off A Pirate Ship's Diving Board Once.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Didn't Follow My Friends Jumping Off a Cliff. Wanna Hang Out?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
I Didn't Just Trip On the Sidewalk, I Was Throwing Myself At You.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
I Didn't Mean To Get Your Attention With This Shirt. Whoops!
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Didn’t Read Your Mind, I Just Skimmed The Best Parts.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Dig You Like a Grave Robber.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
I Dine at the Table of Contents.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Do Not Believe In Using Punctuation Period
of 31 votes, 26% like it
I Don't Agree With The Definition Of 'Contradiction'.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Believe In Fairy Tales, I Just Like Kissing Frogs.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Drink Shirts, It's Never Been My Cup Of Tee.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I Don't Engage In Class Warfare Because I Have None.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Gamble With My Money, Just My Life.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Don't Get Carried Away, I'm Usually Thrown Out.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Get Lost, I'm Just Exploring For New Land.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Have a Drug Problem Because My Talking Sofa Told Me So.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Have a Fear of Flying, It's the Landing Part That Gets Me
of 39 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Have A Funny Bone, All Of Them Are Pretty Hilarious.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Have a Pony, But I Do Own a Three-Headed Unicorn.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
I Don't Have Enough Cash to Pay You Any Mind Right Now.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Don't Just Kick Out The Jams, I Exile Them!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Kill With Kindness, I Poison With Pleasantry.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Know Where I Put The Lost & Found. Have You Seen It?
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Know Where The Lost & Found Went. Have You Seen It?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I Don't Like Guns But I Love Wearing Tank Tops.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Don't Like To Poke Fun. It Usually Gets Really Angry.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
I Don't Make The Rules, I Just Break 'Em.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Ride On Bullet Trains Because I'm A Pacifist.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Don't Run With Scissors, But I Do Skydive With Them.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Don't See Eye To Eye With People Taller Or Shorter Than Me.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Steal, I Pay Homage.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Don't Take Life Seriously, Except When I'm Having Fun.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Trust Newly Married Brides Who Spread Old Wives Tales.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
I Don't Trust People Who Have Never Had Their Heart Broken.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Use My Words. I Just Get Them To Say what I Want.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I Don't Use MySpace, I Just Make Friends the Old Fashioned Way
of 50 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Wanna Kill the President, Just Beat Some Sense Into Him.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Don’t Fight Crime As Much As Give It The Middle Finger.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I Don’t Gamble With Money, Just My Life.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
I Don’t Like Wasting People’s Time, But My T-Shirt Does.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Don’t Need Explosives To Blow Your Mind.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
I Draw Temp Tattoos On My Hands Teachers Consider 'Exam Cheating'
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I dream in technicolor, but in them I'm always colorblind.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I Dreamed About Having An Active imagination Once.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I Dreamt About Having An Active Imagination Once.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
I Dress To Depress
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures An Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures Per Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Eat Candy Corn To Fulfill My Daily Vegetable Requirements.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
I Eat Cereal Killers For Breakfast.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I Enjoy Hearing Myths, Legends, Yarns and Tall Tales.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I Enjoy Learning Things, I Just Don't Like Doing It In a School.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up Clothes On My Irony Board.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up My Clothes On An Irony Board.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I Entertained The Notion Because It Looked So Bored.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Envy Anyone Who Avoids the Seven Deadly Sins More Than I Do.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Even Do Half-Assed At A Quarter-Ass.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
I Exceed the Daily Recommended Personality Serving Size.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
I Excel At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I Exercise By Letting My Imagination Run Wild.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Exercise By Sleepwalking Up The Down Escalator.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Experimented Quite A Lot In College Science Classes.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I Fall Asleep By Tripping Over My Bed.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I Fear The Day When There's Nothing Left For Me To Be Afraid Of.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Feed My Computer Chicken Soup When It Gets a Virus.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Feel Like You're Cross Dressing Me With Your Eyes
of 38 votes, 8% like it
I Feel So Bad About Taking That Cross-Country Guilt Trip.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
I Feel Such Pain For Voodoo Dolls That Look Like Me.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I Fell Asleep After Tripping On All These zzzzzz’s.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I Fell Down A Rabbit Hole And Ended Up In This Strange World.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Fight Fire With Flame-Retardant Boxing Gloves.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Figured This Was More Subtle Than a Spinning Bowtie.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Finally Passed the Test of the Emergency Broadcast System!
of 58 votes, 31% like it
I Find Classical Music Sounds Best During Old-School Cartoons.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I Find It So Galvanizing When People Misuse Words.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Find Whatever Floats My Boat is Usually Water.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Fished This Shirt Out of a River At the Boston Tee Party.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Forget The Meaning Of Ironic. That's Pretty Darned Ironic, Eh?
of 40 votes, 35% like it
I Fought the Law in a Boxing Match, and I Won.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I Fought The Law Of Gravity, And The Law Won.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I Found The Key To Success When I Picked A Rich Guy's Pocket.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Found the Perfect Match, But Then I Let It Burn.
of 53 votes, 26% like it
I Gave Piece A Chance. And Then I Ate It.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Get All Nostalgic When I Think About the Summer of 2016.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
I Get Nightmares Out of the Way In the Day So They Scare Me Less.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Got A Sore Throat From Throwing My Voice Into A Brick Wall.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Got an "A" Minor On My Music Exam!
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Got Mugged By A Childhood Bully While Strolling Down Memory Ln.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Got Mugged When Strolling Down Memory Lane.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
I Got These Rope Burns From Playing Real-Life Hangman Once.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
I Got This From a Second-Hand Slogan Shop
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I Graduated Best Of Five Million From The Exaggeration Academy.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Graduated With a 4.0 Average From Saint Lying University.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Grew Up On The Rough Side Of The Internet.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Grew Up Poor On The Rough Side Of The Internet.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I Had A Good Excuse For Being Late, But My Dog At It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Had A Shaman Cure Me Of All My Superstitions.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Had Something To Say, But My Speech Bubble Floated Away.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Had That Dream Where You Were Looking At My T-Shirt Again.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
I Had the Last Teddybear Stuffed That I Hunted For Sport.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Hate It When I Get Freezer Burn on My Brain.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Have a Black Belt In Stealing Karate Master's Black Belts.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
I Have a Chest to be Treasured, With Golden Booty to Match
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Have A Curious Mind Housed In A Very Lazy Body.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Have a Double Chin For Backup Purposes In Case I Lose One.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
I Have a Fear of Flying... While Not Being in a Plane.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I Have a Fear Of Not Having Something To Worry About.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
I Have a Fear of Zombies With Chicken Pox.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I Have A Food Allergy To Peanut Galleries.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Have A Great Home Theater Setup, Now I Just Need Some Actors.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Have A Great Sense Of Direction But I Don't Know Where I Put It
of 31 votes, 39% like it
I Have A Hard Time Thinking Outside The Pizza Box.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Have A Monopoly On My Love Of Board Games.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I Have A Part-Time Job As A Jedi Sword Swallower.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have A Pet Peeve, But It Doesn't Bother Me As Much If I Walk It
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Have a Problem With My Mansion. Apparently, I Don't Have One.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
I Have a Sixth Sense of Humor.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Have An Ass That Won't Quit. So I Fired It.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have Compiled My Top 10 Reasons Why Lists Are a Waste of Time.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
I Have Entire Closets Made of Skeleton Bones.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
I Have Eyes In The Back Of My Head, But Fake Ones On The Front.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Have Friends, They're Just All Ninjas So You Can't See Them.
of 91 votes, 36% like it
I Have Millions Of Dollars. Sadly It's All In Boardgame Money.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Have Never Made A Bad Fish Pun On Porpoise.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Original Sin & 2nd Edition Sin in Their Mint Packaging
of 53 votes, 17% like it
I Have Placed Traps Around the Perimeter To Recapture My Youth.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
I Have Solved the Equation That Proves Mathematics Doesn't Work!
of 46 votes, 15% like it
I Have Some Food For Thought. Whoever Makes Me Think Gets It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Strong Feelings Towards Apathy And Irony.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
I Have the Patience of a Man That Hunts Ninja For Sport.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Have the Voice of An Angel (with severe laryngitis)
of 32 votes, 0% like it
I Haven't Exaggerated In Like A Million Years.
of 141 votes, 71% like it
I Haven't Used A Secret Code Since The Crow Flew At Midnight.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Hear Voices, But They Only Tell Me To Do Really Boring Stuff.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I Heard Hell is This Year's Hottest Afterlife Destination.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I Heard Medicine Balls Cure Any Illness If You Swallow One.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Heard Mr. Sandman Was Fired For Sleeping On The Job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I Heard Some Onomatopoeias Formed a Band Called WHAM!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
I Heard You Get 100 Free Lives if You Jump Into That Pit of Lava
of 51 votes, 10% like it
I Heart Faceless Corporations
of 37 votes, 11% like it
I Hunt Teddy Bears For Sport And Then Stuff Them For Children.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
I Interview All Aspiring Wizards On My Spell Casting Couch.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Invented a Ray That Turns Monopoly Money Into the Real Thing!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only To Set Up Practical Jokes
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Invented Oxygen. Internet Encyclopedias Don't Lie.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Just Can't Seem To Grasp Why Ignorance Equals Bliss.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Just Completed My Slogan 365 Project By Submitting This!
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Just Feel So Naked When I Don't Have Any Clothes On.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Just Found Two Identical Snowflakes, But I Got Thirsty.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Just Gave You A Mind-Five.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Just Had A Sudden Change Of Heart. Do You Want My Old One?
of 20 votes, 40% like it
I Just Moved Into The 9th Floor Penthouse Of Cloud Apartments.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Just Saved The World From Certain Doom. What Are You Up To?
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I Just Teleported Here And Boy Are My DNA Strands Tired!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Just Thought Of The Best Joke Ever. I Wish It Was On My Shirt.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
I Just Totally Had Sex With a Rainbow.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
I Keep All the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces in My Pockets.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Keep Catching Sewer Rats But They Won't Teach Me Karate!
of 113 votes, 37% like it
I Killed Time And Now All The Clocks Are On A Manhunt For Me!
of 24 votes, 8% like it
I Know How Fast Light Speed Travels, But What About In The Dark?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I Know How To Work Out My Problems, I'm Just Too Lazy To Exercise
of 30 votes, 30% like it
I Know Pretty Much Everything. Except What You're About To Ask Me
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Know The Answer To Everything. Except What You're About To Ask.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
I Know What Your Mom Told You, But I Just Like Sharing Candy.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Laugh In The Face Of Danger. And Then Run Away Screaming.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Learn Something New Each Day. It's What I Forgot The Day Before
of 78 votes, 38% like it
I Learned All My Life Lessons From Creepy Church Billboards.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
I Learned Lots of Life's Harshest Lessons Watching Them on TV.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teach On A Ouija Board.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teacher On A Ouija Board.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Ouija Board.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
I Like To Pick Up Strangers In Bars. If They Fall, That Is.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I Liked GPS Systems Better When They Were Called Treasure Maps.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Liked Reality Shows Better When They Were Documentaries.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Live on the Bleeding Edge So Much That I've Installed Padding.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
I Lived in a House of Cards Until a Slight Breeze Destroyed It.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
I Look Thinner When I Travel At The Speed Of Light.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
I Lost A 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I Lost My 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Lost My Words Around Here. Can You Help Me Find Them?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I Lost The Keys To My Imagination. Now I Can't Start My Unicorn.
of 142 votes, 60% like it
I Love 80's Movies Without Irony Or Guilt.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I Love Descriptions. They're Really, Um, Neato.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Love Life More Than Life Itself.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Breathe Without It In My Life.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Imagine Living Without It.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
I Love Reading Adaptations of Movies That Were Based On Books.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
I Love Surprises, But You'll Hate the Hammer Hit to the Head.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Love Teamwork, As Long As I'm The Leader.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Love Telling Knock-Knock Jokes. Okay, You Start...
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Love That There's An Amendment For the Right To Have Bear Arms.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Love To Exercise, If People-Watching Is Considered Exercise.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Love To Swap Jokes, But Don't Try Anything Funny.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Love When My Bowling Ball Goes On Strike.
of 66 votes, 36% like it
I Made a Side Deal With the Devil Involving Future Draft Picks.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
I Make My Own Luck, But It's Usually By Accident.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
I March To The Beat Of A Speed Metal Drummer.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But At Least I'm The Coolest Nerd.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But I'm The Coolest One.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Might Not Make Sense, But At Least I'm Not Made Of Wax Candy.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I Must Be Worth A Fortune Since I'm In My Original Packaging.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Narrowly Escaped A Unicorn Stampede While Visiting Fantasy Land
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Need An Incredible Tale To Tell at Parties. Let's Go Make One.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
I Need To Take My Crazy Pills! I Can't Be Crazy Without Them!
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Need Words on a Shirt 4 U to Stare, Whereas Women Have Cleavage
of 52 votes, 23% like it
I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Conflict With What I Say.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I Never Fade Into the Sunset. I Use Star Wipes.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
I Never Found Buttons That Cute To Begin With.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I Never Jump To Conclusions. It's More Fun To Play Hopscotch.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Never Use A Compass Because I Don't Take Direction Well.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Often Go To Jail For Stealing The Show.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
I Once Told A Risky Joke And Broke My Funny Bone In Three Places.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Only Hop On Bugs Because I Hope Gold Coins Will Come Out.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Only Play a Homosexual When I'm in My Bedroom Closet
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Only Speak One Language But I Kiss In Many Others.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Only Started That Crime Spree Because It's Nice To Be Wanted.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Only Try To Get Brownie Points Because I Really Love Chocolate.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Own A Kids Watch That Tells Time At A 12th Grade Level.
of 26 votes, 4% like it
I Park at Green Lights To Get the Techno Honking Party Started.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Pass Funny Money Off To Get Into Comedy Clubs
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Perform All My High-Speed Chases In Super Slo-Mo.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Placate Constantly. Thanks For Taking the Time to Read This.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Play a Killer "Stairway to Heaven" on Kazoo
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Play An Instrument, It’s Called A Warp Whistle.
of 31 votes, 3% like it
I Play Bombardment With Cannonballs.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
I Practice Levitation By Keeping All the Planets in the Air.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I Practice My Atheist Beliefs Very Religiously.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I Practice Self-Preservation When I Turn Myself Into Jelly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I Pray Everyday For the End of Religion.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Pretend I'm a Jedi & Wave My Hand Through Automatic Doors.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
I Promised I Wouldn't Verbally Abuse Anyone Today, SO SHUT UP!
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Punch Zebras in My Spare Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Put On A Smiley Face. People Got Scared Of My Big Yellow Head.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I Put the 'Original' in 'Originalityism'.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Put The 'Z' In Abstract.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
I Put TNT in My Closet To Prepare For the Monster Invasion.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Quickly Go From Happy To Mad If I Fall Off The Mood Swings.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Rarely Time Travel Because The Special Effects Are So Cheesy.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Read Ten Books A Day, If You Count Pop-Up, Match and Comic.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Really Don't Like Unhealthy Foods. I Just Love Their Tastes.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Really Hate Food, But I Just Love Tastes.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I Really Hope I Never Forget How To Breathe.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I Really Miss My Sandbox Universe
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Really Wish You Hadn't Read This.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I Recycle By Giving People My Old Bikes.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I Run An Existential Crisis Hotline For Philosophy Students.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I Said I Had a SENSE of Humor, Not Actual Humor.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Saw A Sign Of The Apocolypse, But It Only Told Me To Merge.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Scared The Hell Out Of The Devil Once.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Scuba Dive For Sunken Treasure In Wishing Wells.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I See No Point In Sports, Which Is How Many Points I Often Score.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I See That Eyes Are The New Look This Year.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I See The Glass As Half-About-To-Be-Drank.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Sharpened The Tools In My Shed And Feel Smarter Already!
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Shot the Sheriff, But I Did Not Shoot the Kennedys.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Should Probably Disclose That My Toes Are Crossed Right Now.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Show My Respect For President's Day By Drinking The Most Beer.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
I Sky-Wrote A Novel Once, But A Hurricane Destroyed All My Work.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Sleep In A Circus Tent On Camping Trips.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Sleep Soundly By Snoring All Night Long.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I Sleepwalk During The Day And While I'm Awake.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Slept My Way To The Top Of The Bunk Bed.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Sometimes Hang Out In Graveyards To Look Younger.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Sometimes Retrace My Steps To Improve My Drawing Skills.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Speak Dozens Of Languages. Too Bad I Made All Of Them Up.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Speak T-Shirt Quite Fluently.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Spelunk Into Black Holes and Time Warps When I'm Bored.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Sprained My Tongue When I Turned A Phrase Too Quickly.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
I Stay Up Late Because I Heard You Can Get Drunk Off Moonshine.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
I Stepped On a Crack, and Now My Mom Can't Walk For a Month.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Still Play With Toys Meant For Children
of 69 votes, 17% like it
I Stole a Guitar to Play in a Videogame Group Called Contra Band.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
I Store Corrupted Viruses in a Heavily Guarded Data Base.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Struck Lightning Once, But It Struck Me Back And Won The Fight.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Suppose YOUR SHIRT Could Think Up a Better Slogan?
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I Suspect Fishing Wire Holds the Planets Up In Outer Space.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
I Suspect Little Gnomes Make Our Mouths Move Up and Down.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
I Swam In Radioactive Waste And All I Got Was This Lousy 5th Eye.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I Swear I Saw Bigfoot Riding A Unicorn The Other Day.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Take Flights of Fancy Whenever I Find a Cheap Enough Ticket.
of 235 votes, 36% like it
I Talk So Much My T-Shirt Won't Even Shut The Hell Up.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Teach My Grapes To Respect Their Raisin Elders.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Tend To Around Things Switch Every While in a Once.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
I Tend To Crash Parties in a Car With Good Airbags.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
I Think Cotton Candy Is Grown In A Giant Circus Tent.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Think I Might Have ADDee De Deee Deee De De....
of 41 votes, 17% like it
I Think I Put My Brain On Inside-Out Today.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Think I Took a Wrong Turn Into Reality a Few Miles Back.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Think I'm Getting a Stomach Ache in My Brain
of 40 votes, 18% like it
I Think Lawyers Have Too Much Power. Sue Me.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Think My Jump Rope Is Broken. It Hasn't Jumped Once.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
I Think My Paranoia is Out To Get Me!
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I THINK SUBTLETY IS THE BEST WAY TO GET A POINT ACROSS.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Think the Sun is Having A Late-Night Affair With My Shadow!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Thought An Instigator Was a Mischievous Crocodile.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Of a Great Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Recycling Was Traveling Through Time On A Bike.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Thought the Planet Was Finally Warming Up To Us.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Time Travel But I've Settled Here For Now. You'll See Why Soon.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I Tip My Invisible Top Hat In Your Direction
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Tip the Scales. It's Only Polite After You Stand on Them.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I Tip Waiters And Cows Equal Amounts.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Took Acting Classes For Many Years So I Could Perform Surgery.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Took The Skeletons In My Closet And Buried Them In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
I Took This Shirt Off One Of The Skeletons In My Closet.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Totally Got the Better of the Deal With the Devil I Just Signed
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Traded My Tickets To The Gun Show For An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I Trademarked the Call of the Wild.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Travel at Light Speed When I'm On a Diet.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Travel By Clown Car To Cut Down On Pollution.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Tried To Bring My 'A' Game, But All I Could Muster Was 'ZZZ'.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Tried To Get A Life Transplant, But It Didn’t Take.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
I Tried To Take A Sleeping Pill But Couldn't Wake It Up.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Try Not Gamble, Except With My Life.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I Try Not To Gamble, Except With My Life.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I Try To Act My Inner-Child’s Age.
of 58 votes, 19% like it
I Use the North Pole When I Have Jousting Competitions.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Used To Be On Edge About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
I Used to Be Uptight About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I Used to Have a Logo Here, But My Shirt Kicked Its Ass.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
I Violate FBI Warnings on DVDs
of 46 votes, 17% like it
I Wanna Be Board Game Banker So I Can Be Bailed-Out If I Go Broke
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I Want To Be A City-Destroying Monster When I Grow Up.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
I Wanted To Be A Cotton Candy Farmer When I Grew Up.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
I Wanted To Learn The Ten Commandments, So I Stole A Copy.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I Wanted To Live In A Castle But I'll Settle For A Pillow Fort.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I Was Drinking and Driving My Time Machine And I Woke Up Here.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Was Gonna Forget To Do Something, But I Forget What It Was.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Was Once A Zombie, But Now I Only Have Occasional Flare-Ups.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
I Was Raised In A Barn. But I Had A Full House, So I Raised Back.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Was Recently Laid Off By A Firing Squad.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I Was Saving Up For A Rainy Day, But It Must Raining Somewhere.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I Was Seeing Red, But Broke It Off For A Relationship With Blue.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
I Was Seeing Red, But Broke It Off For A Relationship With Blue.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Wasn't Born Under A Bad Sign, Just Power Lines.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Wear This Shirt When I Lose My Voice. Can You Help Me Find It?
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Went To College For Free on My Kickball Scholarship
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I Went To The Cliche Factory And All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Will Be the Boredom Slayer When Life Starts Dragon
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I Will Be Your Friend For a Fruit Roll-Up
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Will Become A Ghost Over My Dead Body.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
I Will Not Take The Chair Uprising Sitting Down!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I Will Sell You This Shirt For One Hundred Dollars.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Wish a Baby Again So I Could Run Around Naked.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Wish Angry People Literally Tossed Their Cookies.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I Wish Certain People Would Forget How to Breathe.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
I Wish Construction Cones Tasted Like Ice Cream.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Wish Everything in Life Was Candy-Coated.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
I Wish H2O Wasn't So Watered Down.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Wish I Could Live in My Dreams and Sleep in Reality.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
I Wish I Could See Spot Run After I Stain My T-Shirt.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Wish I Could Taste Food Just By Looking At It.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Wish I Had A Genie Lamp.
of 59 votes, 8% like it
I Wish I Had A Nickel For Every Time I Used That Expression.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Wish I Was a Baby Again So I Could Run Around Naked.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
I Wish It Snowed Cherry Water Ice.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Wish MC Raven Evermore Would Stop Rapping At My Chamber Door.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Wish My Life Was As Fun As People In Impotence TV Ads.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I Wish People Farted Laughing Gas.
of 54 votes, 22% like it
I Wish There Was A Way To Stop People From Staring At My Shirt.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Wish There Was Some Way To Get You To Stare At My Shirt.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Wish They Made Clothes Out Of Fabric Softener Sheets.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed Today. Underneath it.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Won For Best Actor In an Akward Social Encounter!
of 46 votes, 20% like it
I Wonder If Clown College Is Next To The Police Academy.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
I Wonder if Rainbows Are Colorblind.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I Wonder If Those Black Bars Ever Want Their Identity Concealed.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Wonder If Zombies Think Brains Taste Like Chicken.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Wonder What ACRONYM Stands For?
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Wonder What Dinosaurs Tasted Like.
of 372 votes, 32% like it
I Wonder What Happened To the Class Clown at the Ninja Academy?
of 47 votes, 21% like it
I Wonder What Taste Buds Taste Like.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
I Wore Some Ice To Be Like Rap Stars And All I Got Was Frostbite
of 25 votes, 16% like it
I Wore the Coolest Shirt Yesterday. I Swear.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I Work Hard Every Day So I Have Money For Lottery Tickets.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
I Work Out With Tarzan At Jungle Gyms.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
I Work Out With Tarzan At Jungle Gyms.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
I Worry So Much Less Since Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead In An Ironic T-Shirt.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
I Wouldn't Say It's Ugly, But My Eyes Are Hanging Themselves.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Wouldn't Trade This Shirt For All the Tees in China.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
I Write Society's Wrongs.
of 69 votes, 19% like it
I Wunder If Catz Thynk We Tawk Like Thiz?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I'd Be Lying If I Said I Lied A Lot.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I'd Get Help For My Laziness, But I Don't Feel Like Doing It.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
I'd Have OCD If I Wasn't So Lazy.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I'd Like Find A Better Job, But The Information Is Classified.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I'd Like To Find A Better Job, But The Information Is Classified.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I'd Like To Rename The Month Of April To 'Achoo'.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'd Lose More Weight, But I Don't Deal Well With Loss.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I'd Lose My Head Less If I Could Install A Car Alarm Inside It.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I'd Love To Go To The Moon, But I Have Cheese Allergies.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
I'd Pay For My Sins, But The Cash Machine Is Broken.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I'd Rather Be Riding On The Back Of Loch Ness.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I'd Rather Be Wearing Another T-Shirt.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'd Rather Have A Sock Monkey On My Back.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I'd Read More Books If I Could Just Watch Them.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'd Say I'm A Person Of Few Words, But.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I'll Be A Mental Sharp Shooter Once My Mind Is Re-Calibrated.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
I'll Be Re-Gifting This Shirt Very Shortly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I'll Bet A Million Dollars That I'm More Responsible Than You!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
I'll Never Forget All Those Crazy Times That I Can't Remember.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
I'll Show You An Easy Way To Make Money For Five Dollars.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
I'll Trade You My Favorite Thing For Your Favorite Thing.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I'm 70% Bad With Numbers, and 40% Just Plain Lazy.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
I'm A Big Fan Of Cool Oscillating Air.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I'm a Failed Science Fiction Writer: Have U Heard of My Religion?
of 48 votes, 6% like it
I'm a Good Listener Before I Blatantly Interrupt.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
I'm A Little Bit Awkweird.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I'm A Local Favorite Now, But Plan To Be World Famous Real Soon.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I'm A Lover, Not A Fighter. Wait, Is There A Third Option?
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'm A Low-Level Superhero Who Has The Power Of Suggestion.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
I'm a Member of the Polyphonic Spree. Hey, Prove I'm Not.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
I'm A Pretzel Chiropractor That Gets All Their Knots Out.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
I'm A Prsn Of Few Wrds, And Even Fewr Lettrs.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'm A Real Smarty-Pants, But I Wish My Brain Would Follow Suit.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I'm a Time Traveler. You Wore Really Goofy Clothes As a Child.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I'm a Vegetarian Between Bites of Hamburger & Sausage Links.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
I'm a Witty T-Shirt Regardless of a Funny Slogan or Not.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
I'm Actually A Shirt Ventriloquist. Can You See My Mouth Moving?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I'm Actually Royalty. I Was Kinged In Checkers Once.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
I'm Actually the One Wearing This Human Being Right Now.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
I'm Afraid We Can't See Eye To Eye On Anything Right Now.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I'm Allergic To Doors. My Face Puffs Up Whenever I Run Into Them
of 39 votes, 28% like it
I'm Allergic To Reality.
of 61 votes, 34% like it
I'm Allergic To Things That Make Me Die.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I'm an Algorithm Away From Cracking the Code on Cool
of 189 votes, 26% like it
I'm An Excellent Conversationalist, Usually With Myself.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I'm As Deep As A Kiddie Pool.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
I'm At a Loss For Words, But Luckily My Shirt Isn't.
of 49 votes, 33% like it
I'm Athletic If People-Watching is Considered a Sport.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
I'm Auditioning For A Drummer Who Rimshots After All My Jokes.
of 66 votes, 38% like it
I'm Casting My Shadow In A Movie About Ninjas.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I'm Celebrating a Birthday From Five Years Ago Today!
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I'm Classier Than All Get-Out.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I'm Collecting For the Godzilla City Reconstruction Project.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I'm Dear Hunting For a Cutie To Fawn Over
of 44 votes, 9% like it
I'm Developing An Algorithm For Freezing Hell Over.
of 67 votes, 18% like it
I'm Drawn to Artists.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
I'm Exhausted From Patting Myself On The Back, Care To Take Over?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I'm Finally Celebrating a Birthday From Five Years Ago Today!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I'm Forever Teetering on the Edge Of Sanity Like a Sippy Cup.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
I'm Getting Deja Vu Of You Reading My Shirt Before.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I'm Glad I Don't Have To Look Fruit In The Eye When I Eat It.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'm Glad We're All In Agreement There's No Such Things As Facts.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'm Going To Procrastinate Right After This Nap.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I'm Having a Great Idea. Someone Put a Lightbulb Above My Head!
of 52 votes, 17% like it
I'm Having Surgery To Extract A Song That Got Stuck In My Head.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
I'm Here To Say A Few Words About The Bible. Like "NO!"
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I'm High on Life (The Board Game, Not Actual Life).
of 47 votes, 26% like it
I'm High On Life! 'Life' Being A New Drug I'm Super Into.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I'm in Quite the Zesty Mood Today.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
I'm Indifferent To Everything, And That Makes Me So Happy!
of 45 votes, 16% like it
I'm Into Religion For All The Sects.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I'm Just a Product of UrImagination Co.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
I'm Just Full Of Bright Ideas ('Bright' in uv ink)
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I'm Just Trying To Break Your Concentration.
of 42 votes, 33% like it
I'm Just Waiting For Your Shirt To Make The First Move.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I'm Kinda Like the Surprise Cameo at the End of an Awesome Movie.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
I'm Like A Poet Without All That Rhyming, Wit And Meaning.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I'm Like a Travelling Circus in Human Form.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
I'm Like the Awesome Surprise Cameo at the End of a Dull Movie.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
I'm Living Out a "Choose Your Own Adventure" Story Right Now
of 342 votes, 33% like it
I'm Living Vicariously Through My Inner Child.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
I'm Lost, Can You Give Me Directions To The Nearest Warp Zone?
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I'm Made Out of the Stuff in the Pulp Fiction Briefcase.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
I'm More Fun Than An Example Of Something That's Really Fun!
of 28 votes, 25% like it
I'm My Kitten's Sponsor When It Goes To Catnip Anonymous.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I'm Not A Kid, But I Play One On The Monkey Bars.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I'm Not A Master Of Space & Time Yet, Just An Understudy.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I'm Not A Master of Space and Time, Just An Understudy.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
I'm Not a Vampire, I Just Sleep All Day And Don't Like Garlic.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I'm Not Afraid Of Death, Just What Comes After It.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I'm Not Clumsy, I Just Do Spontaneous Dance Moves.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I'm Not Here To Steal Your Kidneys, Just Your Heart.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
I'm Not Lazy, I'm A Conservationist.
of 37 votes, 32% like it
I'm Not Lazy, I'm Powering Myself Up For A Super Move.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I'm Not OCD, I Just Really Like To Count Ceiling Tiles.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I'm Not Out Of Style, I'm Just Prepared For A Surprise Time Warp.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I'm Not Saying I'm The Coolest Person Alive, My Shirt Is.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I'm Not Very Self-Centered, I'm More Right All The Time.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'm Part Of An Elite Ninja S.W.A.T. Team.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I'm Part of That Conspiracy You Just KNOW To Be True.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I'm Positive That I Love Negativity.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
I'm Pro Life. As In, I Need To Get One.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
I'm Really Good At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I'm Really Hard On People Who Use Crass Innuendo.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
I'm Scared Of The Light Which Is Why I Stay Up All Night.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I'm Silently Judging You, And I Find You Guilty.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
I'm Slowly Losing My Mind. Luckily, I Got Lots To Go Around.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I'm So Alert You'll Swear I've Got Eyes In The Front Of My Head.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I'm So Awesome, Even My Shirt Says It.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I'm So Classy Even My Glass Eye Wears A Monocle.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I'm So Clumsy I Break People's Concentration All Day Long.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Clumsy I Walk Into Ceilings
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Clumsy, When I Trip I Break Wind.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
I'm So Cool I Get Frostbite In The Middle Of Summer.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I'm So Good At Doing Nothing I've Turned It Into An Art Form.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
I'm So Hot A Volcano Burnt Its Tongue On Me.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I'm So Hungry I'm Imagining You As A Giant Drumstick.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I'm So Ironic, I'm Wearing This Ironic Shirt Sincerely.
of 51 votes, 37% like it
I'm So Sensitive I Make Tears Cry.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I'm So Sick of Germs.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Underground I Eat Pizza With Deformed Karate Turtles.
of 55 votes, 24% like it
I'm so Vague All the Time Because the Devil's in the Details.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
I'm So Weird And Hyperactive Doctors Diagnosed Me With O.D.D.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm Sorry To Tell You But I Never Apologize.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
I'm Sorry, But I Don't Apologize For Any Reason.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
I'm Sorry, What Did You Say? The Devil On My Shoulder Was Talking
of 28 votes, 32% like it
I'm Taking A Stand Against Sitting.
of 51 votes, 51% like it
I'm the Prince Who's E-Mailing You About the Nigerian Lottery.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I'm Thinking About A Sex Change. I'd Like to Have More Of It.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I'm Thinking About Kittens Playing Basketball, And Now So Are You
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'm Thinking of a Number Between .01 and .02
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I'm Thinking of a Number Between One Zillion and Infinity...
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I'm Thirsty! Where's the Nearest Spittoon At?
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I'm Tired Of The Wind Always Pushing Me Around.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
I'm Trust-Worthy, But The Wire I'm Wearing is a Tattletale
of 48 votes, 17% like it
I'm Usually Broke After Spending The Day.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I'm Usually Dressed More Classy, But My Monocle Is In The Shop.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'm Very Afraid Of Heights, So Only Tell Me One Story At A Time.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'm Very Fond Of (Fresh) Air. It Helps Me Breathe. (fresh in uv)
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I'm Very Tough. Don't Be Fooled By the Word 'Kitten' On My Shirt.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
I'm Wanted In 48 States. Luckily This Isn't One Of Them.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
I'm Wearing My Birthday Suit Underneath This Shirt.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I'm Wearing This Tee Ironically.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
I'm with stupid (that's me, the shirt, talking)
of 32 votes, 3% like it
I'm With Stupid(ly awesome people)
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I'mtoxicated Right Now.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I've Always Considered Myself An Extreme Imperfectionist.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
I've Been Accidentaly Dropping Money Around the Globe. Seen Any?
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I've Been Telling The Truth For All 75 Years Of My Life.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
I've Come Down With A Severe Case Of Awesome That I Can't Shake.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I've Come From the Future To Say... Can I Borrow Ten Bucks?
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I've Converted All the Trees At My House To Run On Solar Power.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I've Got A Huge Personality That Can Satisfy All Night Long.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I've Got a Sharp Pin. Here, Let Me Deflate Your Ego a Bit.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I've Got Eyes In The Back Of My Back. The Head Would Be Better.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I've Got Mad Rapping Skills. I'm Mad Because I Can't Do It.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I've Got More Issues Than A City Newsstand.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I've Had Amnesia Ever Since I Was A Kid. Or Two Minutes Ago.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
I've Had It Up To Here With People Being Vague!
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I've Had Trouble Remembering What Year It Since 1782.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I've Just Developed A Theory Which Proves I'm Not A Nerd.
of 175 votes, 69% like it
I've Killed 10 People in My Mind Today- Don't Make Me Again!
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I've Memorized The Entire Conversation We're About To Have.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
I've Never Seen A Hotcake, But I Hear They Sell Real Well.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I've Never Seen A Mathematical Equation Proving Time is Money.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
I've Never Understood Why Pimps Love Gardening Tools So Much.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I've Punched Bricks All My Life & A Gold Coin Never Pops Out!
of 38 votes, 13% like it
I've Punched Security Cameras For Looking At Me Funny.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
I've Recently Been Voted #1 In Making Up Accomplishments.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I've Saved Up Millions Of Dollars, Sadly All In Boardgame Money.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
I've Saved Up Millions, Sadly It's All In Boardgame Money.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I've Scrubbed and Scrubbed But My Mind Remains So Dirty
of 51 votes, 14% like it
I've Shot Horses That Weren't As Lame As You.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
iAyeCaptain
of 46 votes, 4% like it
Ice Cream Hates When You Scream At It.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Ice Fishing Is Really Easy. You Can Just Pick It Up.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Ideas Are Such Self-Centered Thoughts.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
IDon'tKnowaphobia- The Fear of Having Green Slime Fall on You
of 62 votes, 6% like it
If a Guitar Murders a Song, You May Have To String It Up.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
If A Horse Talked It Would Give Itself A Sore Throat.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
If A Loud Speaker Feeds You, Do You Feedback?
of 18 votes, 11% like it
If A Tree Falls In The Woods and No One Blogs, Did It Happen?
of 43 votes, 26% like it
If A Virus Wants To Play Catch With You, Don't Be Fooled!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
If Cotton Candy and Candy Corn Counts, I Eat My Vegetables.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
If Driving Was A Game, The Object Would Be 'Don't Touch Anything'
of 51 votes, 12% like it
IF Everyone Had My Flawless Taste,There'd Be No One Left To Mock.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
If Everyone's An Egomaniac Now, Who's Gonna Pay Attention to Me?
of 37 votes, 11% like it
If Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Is The Butt The Fire Escape?
of 4 votes, 50% like it
If Eyes Are Windows To The Soul, Is The Butt The Fire Escape?
of 57 votes, 28% like it
If I a Nickel For Every Time I Lost a Nickel, I'd Break Even.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
If I Am Wearing a Flying Raccoon Suit, You Must Be in a Videogame
of 38 votes, 13% like it
If I Bought A New Wallet I Wouldn't Have Anything To Put In It.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
If I Gave A Nickel Every Time People Said I Was Bad At Math...
of 20 votes, 30% like it
If I Get Five Thousand X-Rays, Will I Become a Superhero?
of 40 votes, 23% like it
If I Get One Thousand X-Rays, Will I Become a Superhero?
of 32 votes, 16% like it
If I Had A Clue, I’d Use It To Solve A Mystery.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
If I Had A Nickel For Every Time Someone Used This Cliche...
of 39 votes, 31% like it
If I Had A Nickel For Every Time This Cliché Was Used…
of 23 votes, 13% like it
If I Know Everything I Do is Wrong, Am I Always Right?
of 41 votes, 24% like it
If I Must Jump Through Hoops, I Prefer They Be Hula.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
If I Paid Attention More, I'd Be Even Broker Than I Already Am.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
If I Throw My Hands In The Air, How Do I Catch Them?
of 27 votes, 30% like it
If I Throw My Hands In The Air, How Will I Catch Them?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
If I Were A Bird, I Wouldn't Poop On Your Head.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
If I Were You I'd Pay Attention To My Shirt Too.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
If I'm Calm and Smiling, Be Very Very Afraid.
of 71 votes, 39% like it
If I'm Naked, It's A Nightmare. If You're Naked, It's My Fantasy.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
If I'm Standing Still, Please Touch To Unfreeze Me.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
If Ignorance = Bliss, I'd Like To See The Theorem Proving It.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
If Ignorance = Bliss, I'd Love To Read A Theorem Proving It.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
If Ignorance Is Bliss, Why Isn't The World A Happier Place?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
If It Walks And Talks Like A Duck, It'll Still Taste Like Chicken
of 17 votes, 29% like it
If It Wasn’t For These Words, You’d Be Staring At A Blank Shirt.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
If It's A Free Country, Why Am I Always Brought Up On Charges?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If I’m Moving Right Now, I Cheated At A Game Of Freeze Tag.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
If Kids Ran the World, You Could Bribe Everyone With Candy.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
If Knowledge Is Power, Why Can’t Nerds Generate Electricity?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If Life Didn't Want Me Dead, It Would Stop Aging Me.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
If Life Is A Game, Then Playtime Is Never Over. Hand Me A Crayon.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
If Life is So Precious, What's With the Bug Zapper?
of 22 votes, 9% like it
If Life Was Really Like Reality TV, I Wouldn't Want To Be Real.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
If Life's a Stage, Then Which Way is Stage Right?
of 59 votes, 27% like it
If Love Is A Battlefield, I Should Be Awarded The Purple Heart.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
If Money Talks, You Are Insane.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If My Body Reflected How Fast My Mind Races, I'd Be a Triathlete
of 29 votes, 3% like it
If My Heart Was a DJ, It Would Play All Kinds of Awesome Beats.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
If My Pets Can Walk Around Naked, Why Can't I?
of 24 votes, 25% like it
If Not For Meat Eaters, Cows Would've Taken Over the Planet.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
If Not For Meat-Eaters, Cows Would Make Us Their Slaves.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
If Opposites Attract, Aren't Man & Woman Opposite Enough?
of 43 votes, 26% like it
If Opposites Attract, Isn't Being Man & Woman Opposite Enough
of 4 votes, 25% like it
If Pinatas Magically Come Alive, We're All Due For A Beatdown.
of 87 votes, 39% like it
If Pinatas Magically Come Alive, We're All In For A Beatdown.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
If Poker is Now a Sport, So Are Farting Contests.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
If Rain Weighed More, All Of Our Heads Would Be Caved In.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
If Roses Pooped, What Would It Smell Like?
of 9 votes, 22% like it
If Sex Sells, I Think Brain Sells Too.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
If Someone Makes You Mad in Hell, Where Do You Tell Them To Go?
of 53 votes, 30% like it
If The Office Copier Was A Real Person, We'd Be Arch Enemies.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
If the Proof is in the Pudding, Order Me Another Three Bowls!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
If The Word 'Ninja' Was Actually A Ninja It Would Never Be Seen
of 28 votes, 21% like it
If the World Was Made of Poo, Everyone Would Try 2 Be Number Two
of 12 votes, 8% like it
If There's One Thing I'm Really Good At, It's Celebrating Things.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
If These Words Were Moving, You'd Be Run Over By Now.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
If This Shirt’s Not Fancy Enough, I Have My Birthday Suit On Too.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If This Slogan Were The Sun, You'd Be Blinded By Now.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If Time Heals All Wounds, Why Can't My Watch Fix Itself?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
If Ur Reading This, I Will Now Be Sueing For Sexual Harrasment
of 28 votes, 0% like it
If We Get Into a Fight, Try Not To Punch Me In the Soul.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
If We Had No Heads, The Hat Industry Would Crumble Overnight.
of 27 votes, 37% like it
If We're Gonna Have A Standoff, I'd Prefer To Do It Sitting Down.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If Words Cut Deep, Why Don't More Playwrights Join the Army?
of 25 votes, 16% like it
If You Are Testing My Patience, I'm Failing Right Now.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
If You Believe In Fantasy Worlds, Meet Me By The Unicorn Village.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
If You Believe In Following Orders, Raise Your Right Hand!
of 27 votes, 33% like it
If You Boogie All Night, You Might Want To See A Nose Doctor.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
If You Can Read This, I Bought A Cliched Shirt.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
If You Can Read This, I Bought A Shirt With A Cliche On It.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Not Nearly As Naked As I'd Like To Be.
of 136 votes, 63% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Wearing A Cliched Shirt.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
If You Can Read This, You Are Definitely Not A Mongoose.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
If You Can Read This, You Just Read My Shirt.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
If You Can See This, We Are Not Living In The Dark Ages.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
If You Can't See Your Reflection in This Shirt, I Love Garlic.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
If You Can't Smile, At Least Grimace At Me.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If You Can't Take The Heat, The Kitchen's Probably On Fire.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
If You Can’t Take The Heat, Turn Up The Air Conditioning.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
If You Could Speed-Read, You'd Be Done This Sentence By Now.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
If You Could Speed-Read, You'd Be Finished This Sentence By Now.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
If You Don't Get Crazy Every Now And Then You Might Go Nuts.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
If You Don't Take Names, You Have More Time To Kick Butt.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
If You Don't Take Names, You Have Time To Kick More Butts.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
If You Don't Think I'm A Rational Person, I'll Cry For Hours.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
If You Drink To Forget, You'll Never Regret Getting That Drunk.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
If You Drop A Book, Be Careful Not To Step On Sentence Fragments.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
If You Finish Reading This Sentence, You Owe Me a Quarter.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
If You Finish Reading This, You Owe Me a Dollar.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
If You Give An Inch Worm An Inch, That’s All It Can Possibly Take
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If You Like Rollercoasters, Raise Both Arms and SCREAM!
of 34 votes, 9% like it
If You Love the Same Movies as Me, We'll Probably Get Along.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
If You Need A Change Of Pace, Might I Suggest Power Walking?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
If You Need A Change Of Pace, Might I Suggest Speed Skating?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If you Overthrow a Government, Go Get the Ball Out of Coup's Yard
of 23 votes, 4% like it
If You Play These Letters Backwards It Will Say Something Else.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
If You Play These Letters Backwards It Would Say Something Else.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
If You Run Out Of Ideas, Try To Walk It Off Instead.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
If You Swallow Your Gum, a Sidewalk Will Grow in Your Stomach.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
If You Think This Shirt's Witty, Wait Till You Talk To Its Wearer
of 35 votes, 14% like it
If You Want A Penny For Your Thoughts, I Pay No Mind.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
If You Want To Be Old-Fashioned Pen Pals, Just Send Me An E-mail.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
If You Want To Know Me On A More Personal Level, Meet Me Online.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
If You'd Seen The Internet Meme, This Shirt Would Be Funnier.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
If You're Not Feeling Yourself Today, Get Their Permission First.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
If You're Reading This In Your Head, Quit Talking To Yourself.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
If You're Reading This On Your Front Steps, You'd Be Home By Now.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
If You're Telepathic, It's Always The Thought That Counts.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
If Your Breadth Stinks, Read a Mint-Flavored Encyclopedia
of 1 votes, 100% like it
If Your Chairs Start An Uprising, Just Sit On Them.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
If Your Old Habits Aren't Dying, Your Not Using Enough Poison
of 35 votes, 9% like it
If Your Pet Can Read This Back To Me, I Will Give You $100
of 36 votes, 17% like it
If Zombies Had Any Brains, They'd Make Bulletproof Head Gear.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
If Zombies Had Half A Brain, They Wouldn't Need Ours.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
iFeelsleepy
of 41 votes, 10% like it
Igneous Music Is For True Rock Fans.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Ignorance Might Be Bliss, But You'd Be Too Dumb To Realize It.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Illegally Laundered Shirt- I Snuck It Into a Friend's Dryer.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Ima Freeform Hallucination
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Impatient People Have A Wait Problem.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Impatient People Have Wait Problems.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Impressionable Children Watch Too Many Films Strip in School.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
In a Half-Assed Kinda Way, I Agree Wholeheartedly.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
In A Past Life, I Was Me But One Foot Shorter.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
In A Pun-Based Economy, I'd Be A Zillionaire.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
In Ancient Times, People Lived In Such Ruins.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
In Both Life and Fashion, I Never Play the Victim.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
In My Past Life, I Was God.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
In My Pockets, You Shall Find the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
In My Spare Time, I Don’t Bowl Strikes.
of 62 votes, 18% like it
In My Spare Time, I Like To Fluff Up Frumpy-Looking Clouds.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
In My Spare Time, I'm Not Bowling Strikes.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
In Need of a Partner 4 the Pogo Stick Ballroom Dancing Contest
of 50 votes, 6% like it
In Public I Only Show My "Edited For TV" Persona.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
In Soviet Russia, Cliched Joke Tells You!
of 29 votes, 24% like it
In Space, Aliens Can Hear You Scream And They Hate It.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
In Space, Echoes Take A Really Long Time To Hear.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
In Space, No One Can Hear You Saying Lame Cliches.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
In Space, No One Can Hear You Screaming Lame Cliches.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
In The Amusement Park of Life, I Would Be the Teacup Ride.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
In the Army, 20:04 is a Dyslexic Pothead's Favorite Time!
of 31 votes, 0% like it
In The Future There Will Be A TV Mounted Here.
of 55 votes, 13% like it
In the Game of Life, Hell is Merely the Final Lava Level.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
In The Gear Shift Of Life, Never Get Stuck In Neutral.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
In the Office Supply Gang Wars, I Roll With The Papercrips.
of 238 votes, 33% like it
In The Twilight Zone, Do I Turn My Watch Back An Hour or Forward?
of 50 votes, 18% like it
In The Wintertime My Brain Goes Into Hibernation.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
In Videogames, Don't Forget To Stop And Smell The Fire Flowers.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Indiana Jones Gave Me Whip Lash.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Indiana Jones Gives All His Enemies a Severe Case of Whip Lash.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Insane Asylum Fashion Tip: Straightjackets Are In This Season.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Insanity is Reality's Evil Twin Nemesis.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
INSANITY: Now Comes In Ten Different Flavors You Can Talk To!
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Insert Additional Hugs To Continue Conversation.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
Inside Jokes Are So Lame. Fruit Salad.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Inspiration Struck Me Last Night. Or Was That Lightning?
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Ironic Tip Of The Day: Reading People's Shirts Is Lame.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Ironically, Canyons Don't Enjoy Rock Music.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Irony (n): 1. Woah, I Didn't See That Comin'.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Irony Clings to Me Like Desperate Leaves on Trees Before Winter
of 73 votes, 12% like it
Is It Just Me Or Is It Always Me When I Ask These Questions?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Is There Any Way To Actually Win the War Against Nature?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Is There Anything Even Remotely Worth Rebelling Against Today?
of 57 votes, 18% like it
Is There ANYTHING People Use A No. 1 Pencil For?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Is Traveling At Light-Speed In the Dark Even Fast?
of 6 votes, 17% like it
iSickofipodreferences
of 51 votes, 16% like it
Isn't Every Stick in the Back of Your House a Yard Stick?
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Isn't This Robot Replica of Myself Amazingly Lifelike?
of 36 votes, 8% like it
It All Started on a Hill With Jack and Jill.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
It All Started on the Hill With Jack and Jill.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
IT Happens All the Time in Wyoming
of 37 votes, 11% like it
It is NOT National Opposite Day Today.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
It Literally Blows My Mind When People Misuse Their Words.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
It Only Took Me a Hundred Bucks To Win This at a Carnival!
of 32 votes, 22% like it
It Really Hurts When My Inner Child Does A Set Of Jumping Jacks.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
It Stinks When My Favorite Food Groups Split Up.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
It Takes a Steady Trigger Finger To Make a Decent Hand Gun.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
It Was Either Buying This Shirt or Paying Off My Student Loans.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
It Would Really Bite If Vampires Were Afraid Of The Dark.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
It Would Really Suck If You Forgot How To Breathe.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
It Would Stink if Trees Didn't Recycle.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
It's A Dog-Eat-Dog World Once Animals Become Zombies.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
It's A Lot Harder To Disappear Into Fat Air.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
It's All Amateur Until You Turn Pro Creation.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
It's Always Best To Go Steady With An Earthquake.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
It's Awkward when I LOL In Public.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
It's Been My Entire Life Since My Last Confession.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
It's Even Harder to Find Haystacks in a Needle Than Vice Versa
of 41 votes, 17% like it
It's Funny Cause It's True Isn't As Funny As Actually Being Funny
of 24 votes, 21% like it
It's Hard To Buy Someone a Drink at the Salad Bar.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
It's Horracious How Many Stupid New Words Are Made Each Day
of 125 votes, 15% like it
It's Just A Madder Of Fact That People Get Angry Over Nothing.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
It's Just Great That Sarcasm Can't Be Read Off This Shirt
of 40 votes, 13% like it
It's National Opposite Day Today! Or Does That Mean It's Not?
of 16 votes, 13% like it
It's Not Cheating if I Say I'm Sorry After You Catch Me
of 3 votes, 0% like it
It's Not Stealing if I Give It Back To You After You Catch Me.
of 131 votes, 27% like it
It's Not The Thought That Counts, It's Actually Your Brain.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
It's Okay, The Voices In My Head Recently Took A Vow Of Silence.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
It's Pretty Easy To Pull The Wool Over A Sheep's Eyes.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
It's Really Easy To Lead A Seahorse To Water.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
It's Really Hard To Fence With Daggers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
It's Rude For Zombies To Talk With Their Mouth Full Of Your Mouth
of 44 votes, 36% like it
It's Strange To Bring Up God's Blessings When Boogers Are Flying.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
It's Sweeps Week, So Give the Nearest Janitor a Hug!
of 30 votes, 17% like it
It's Tough To Make Calls On My Phone Since It's Tone Deaf.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
It's Very Hard To Eat With A Tuning Fork.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
It’s Always Best To Go Steady If An Earthquake Asks You Out.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
It’s Hard For Computers To Stand In A Single File.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
It’s Okay, The Voices In My Head Recently Took A Vow Of Silence.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I’d Love To Fly To The Moon, But I Have Cheese Allergies.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I’d Rather Be Paid Back In Money Than In Spades.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I’M TOTA_LY BLANK_NG RI_HT N_W.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I’m A Fun Hunter In Search Of Game.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I’m From The Future Trying To Help Myself Make A Time Machine.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I’m Hooked On Pirates.
of 65 votes, 22% like it
I’m Living The Dream! Wait, I’m Still Asleep Right?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I’m Lost, Can You Direct Me To The Nearest Warp Zone?
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I’m Not A Child But I Play One In My Adult Life.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I’m Not Paranoid! They’re All Out To Get YOU, Not Me.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I’m Not Paranoid, They’re All Out To Try And Tag Me IT!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I’m Not Shrugging, I’m Hugging You With Indifference.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I’m Not THAT Insane. You’re Just Not Crazy Enough.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I’m Taking Donations For Operators Standing By To Get Some Seats.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I’m Thinking Of Signing Up For The Space Cadet Academy.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I’ve Gotten Lots Of Speed-Reading Tickets From Librarians.
of 69 votes, 28% like it
I’ve Never Seen Pigs Give Each Other A Piggyback Ride.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I’ve Never Used Explosives, But I Might Just Blow Your Mind.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Jay-Z + Back to the Future = 88 JiggaWhats?
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Jesus and Zombies Are Both Big Fans of the Resurrection.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Jesus Died For Your Shins
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Jesus Is The World's Most Popular Zombie!
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Jesus Should Not Turn Water Into Wine During AA Meetings.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Job Hunting Does Not Require An Orange Suit and Rifle.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Join Me in Crumbling Society's Institutions, Won't You?
of 48 votes, 13% like it
Join Me in Stealing Prizes Out of All the Cereal Boxes, Won't U?
of 43 votes, 21% like it
Join The Compliment Army And Kill Em' All With Kindness!
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Join The Individualists Club Today!
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Judges Are Tired of Being Objectified By Lawyers.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
Juggling 5 Courses At Once in Clown College is No Laughing Matter
of 289 votes, 36% like it
Jump Ropes Aren't As Athletic As They Sound.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Jumping on a Stranger's Head & Recieving a Gold Coin is My ATM
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Just Call Me Professor Scaredypants. On Second Thought, Don't.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Just Cause I'm Wearing a Shirt Doesn't Mean I'm Hiding Things!
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Just Kidding... I'm Really Laughing AT You.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Just Like Everyone Else, I Don't Want To Be Like Anyone Else.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Just Throw Ur Hands in the Air,and Pray They Don't Land On a Bear
of 40 votes, 3% like it
Just When You Think You Can Trust Friendly Fire, It Burns You.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Just When You Think You Know A Season, It Changes On You.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Kathy Bates is My Idea of a Perfect "10."
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Keep Hope Alive, Even If You Have To Give It Mouth-To-Mouth.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Keep It - I Got a Pit Bull NOW!
of 36 votes, 6% like it
Keeping My Stalag-Tight To Show the World My Stalag-Might
of 48 votes, 8% like it
Kernels Of Corn Explode With Joy When They Hear POP Music.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Keyboards Think I'm the Right Kinda Type.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Keychains Are Prisons For Keys That Need To Be Locked Up.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Keyholes Are For Peeping, Not Unlocking.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
Kick In the Corners of Your Abode To Perform a Roundhouse
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Kid's Games Are Extremely Childish.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
Kids, Don't Do Drugs. Unless You Plan On Making Awesome Music.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Killing a King in His Bed Makes You Guilty of Matricide.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
Killing A Million Lawyers Would Make the Earth Barely Legal
of 40 votes, 8% like it
Kitchen Sinks Are Always Left Out Of The Best Fights.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Kittens Go Bowling With Hairballs.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Kittens Play Sports With Hairballs.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Kleptomaniacs Always Steal The Spotlight.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
Kleptomaniacs Are Always Stealing The Spotlight.
of 55 votes, 44% like it
Knights Have Far Less Protection in Their Birthday Suit of Armor.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Knights Keep Their Feelings Hidden Inside Thick Shells.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Knights Who Had Causal Day Without Suits Aren't Around Anymore.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Knives Really Reached Their Peak After Slicing Bread.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Knock Knock. Did You Just Say 'Who's There' To a T-Shirt?
of 49 votes, 35% like it
Kung Fu Waiters: 'To Protect and Serve Since Ancient Times'
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Kung Fu Waiters: Protecting and Serving Since the Dawn of Time.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
L-E-T M-E S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T F-O-R Y-O-U.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Lactose Intolerance is a Form of Bigotry
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Lamps, TVs & Couches Hate Being So Objectified.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Landfills Survive By Eating Lots Of Junk Food.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
Larger Numbers Have To Watch Their Figures.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Larger Numbers Sometimes Exercise To Get Smaller Figures.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Lasers: Useful In Pointers, Eye Surgeries and Space Battles.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Last Night I Dreamt About a Dream I'm Having Tomorrow Night.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Late-Breaking News Requires Early-Morning Masking Tape
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Laugh Tracks Are Like a TV Show's Annoyingly Proud Parents
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Launching Snot Rockets Doesn't Make You Part Of The Space Program
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Laundry Day Is The Only National Holiday I Observe.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Lawnmowers Have Their Work Cut Out For Them.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
Lawyers Smell Like Sue-Age.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Lazy Eyes Just Lack Ambition.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Lazy People Rarely Exercise Their Rights.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Leader of The Red-Headed Stepchild Anti-Abuse Force
of 44 votes, 11% like it
Legs Don’t Think Too Much About What They Take A Stand On.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Leprechauns Love Listening To Shamrock.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Let Me Set The Record Straight. The Music Sounds Better That Way.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Let Me Use Kung-Fu to Kill You, So That I May Avenge Your Death
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie. They Tell The Truth In The Morning.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Let's All Get Crunk On Manishevitz!!!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Let's All Pretend My Shirt Says The Funniest Thing Ever.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Let's Give It Up For Virginity!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Let's Go Back To My Place And Watch Some Viral Videos.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Let's Go Talk About Deforestation In My New Log Mansion.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Let's Go To the Park and Play on the Mood Swings.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Let's Hear It for Silence!
of 25 votes, 24% like it
LET'S HEAR IT FOR SILENCE!!!
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Let's Lock Lips And Throw The Key Away.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Let's Make Beautiful Death Metal Music Together.
of 68 votes, 38% like it
Let's Meet In The Elevator And Make Beautiful Muzak Together.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Let's Talk About Our Favorite Gummi Bear Flavors.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Let's Try To Have A Conversation Without Using Any Vowels.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Let’s Hear It For Clapping!
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Libraries: Where Books Go To Get Some Peace And Quiet.
of 80 votes, 38% like it
Life is Like a Stupid Forrest Gump Quote.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Life Is Not A Beach If You’re A Whale.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Life Is Short. Don't Make Fun Of It Or Yours Will Get Shorter.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Life Is What You Make Of It. I Choose To Make Believe.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
Life's a Test. But I'm Not a Good Test-Taker.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Life: Risks Include Dry Mouth, Headaches, and Eventual Death.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Life: I Saw Something Like This On a Reality Show Once.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Life: It's Graded On More of a Pass/Fail System.
of 45 votes, 36% like it
Light Bulbs Are Bright, But The Sun Is More Brilliant.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Light Bulbs: Angering The Sun Gods Since 1878.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Light Travels At What Speed Again?
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Lightning Bolts Are Just Free-Range Power Lines.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Lightning Strikes When Zeus Makes It Work Seven Days Straight.
of 55 votes, 18% like it
Lights Are Jerks, They Change On You With The Flip Of A Switch.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Like Molten Lava, I Just Go With The Flow.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Listen to This Shirt
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Literally Or Figuratively, Fire Arms Lead To No Good.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Literary Priests Deliver Last Writes.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Little Bo Peep Has a Voyeur Fetish
of 35 votes, 11% like it
Little Help Please! This Shirt Isn’t Gonna Read Itself.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Live Every Day Like The Substitute Teacher Is Running The Class.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Living In A Lighthouse Makes Finding Your Way Home A Snap.
of 65 votes, 38% like it
Living: It Saves Lives.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Local News Update: Murders, Robberies, And Cutest Puppy Alive!
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Logic: The Leading Cause Of Follow-The-Leader.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Logo Shirts Are An Exercise in Petty Brandalism.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
LOL Like You Mean It.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
Long Ago, Bullfighting Was Once Unicornfighting.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Long Distance Calls Are More Fun By Megaphone.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Loopholes Are Like Written Roller Coasters of Technicality.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Love Is In The Air Today, And It Plays Hell With My Allergies.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Love Is In The Air Today, And It's Playing Hell With My Allergies
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Love Yourself. But Not Literally While in Public.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Lowercase Letters are the Little Children of the Alphabet.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Luckily Shoulder Blades Aren't Sharp Enough To Saw People In Half
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Luckily The Monster In My Closet Didn't Eat This Shirt Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
Lumberjacks Could Work Faster If They Mastered The Karate Chop.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Lumberjacks: The Number One Cause Of Ewok Home Foreclosures.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Lying Down At The Top Of A Hill, That's How I Roll.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Machine Guns are Made From Machinery. What Are Hand Guns Made Of?
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Mad Scientists Sometimes Just Have a Rock in Their Shoe.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
Magic Tricks Are Just Really Well-Timed Miracles.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Magic: Con Jobs Made Fun For the Whole Family To Enjoy!
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Magical Doctors Cast Spells Once They've Been Broken.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Magicians = The Drop-Outs Of The Wizard World.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Magicians Are Really The Flunkies Of The Wizard World.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Main Event of the Videogame Olympics- The 200 Meter Button Mash
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Make Art, Not Warpaint.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Make Cliche Slogans, Not War.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
Make Up A Word Today And Try Sneaking It Past Me In A Sentence.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Making Air Quotes Gouges Out The Eyes Of Mother Nature.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Man, There's No New Music Even Worth Stealing Off the Internet.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Man, This Human is REALLY Comfortable To Wear.
of 58 votes, 34% like it
Many People Say I Have An Ear For Hearing.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Mario + Flower Power-up = The Original Flamethrower
of 44 votes, 14% like it
Math Is A Jerk. It Also Wants To Divide Things.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Math Is A Jerk. It Always Wants To Divide Things.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Mathematical Farmers Angle Their Crops With Protractors
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Mathematicians Always Win Pi Eating Contests.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Mathematicians Love To Square Route Dance.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Me and George Costanza Are Believers of Seintology.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Me and You Need to Hide! The Grammar Police is Coming To Get Us!
of 52 votes, 33% like it
Meaningless (adj): 1. __________________ ___________.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Meaningless (adj.):
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Measuring Sticks: Rulers of the World!
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Meat Is Murder. So Apparently I Really Love Murder.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Megaphones Are Really Bad At Keeping Secrets.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Mermaids: The Best Cleaners To Hire For A Dirty Ocean Floor.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
Metal Forks And Electric Sockets Is A Love That Can Never Be.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Middle Fingers Aren't Bad, It's Just Their Position In Life.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Millionaires Need Our Support: Go Buy Something Useless & Shiny
of 133 votes, 20% like it
Mimes Are in a Screaming Match Behind You. Gestures Are Flying!
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Mimes Were The Class Clowns In Ninja School.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
Mirrors and Pools of Water Are Really Into Self-Reflection.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Mirrors Are So Superficial, They Never See People's Inner Beauty.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Mirrors Give Me Ample Time For Pondering Self-Reflection.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Mirrors Give Me Ample Time For Self-Reflection.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Mirrors Give Me Time to Ponder Self-Reflection.
of 9 votes, 44% like it
Mirrors Have Plenty of Time For Personal Reflection.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Mirrors Tend To Reflect on the Day's Events.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Misery Wants Company To Stay The Hell Away Today.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Miss Cleo Predicted This Would Happen.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Mixing Words And Drugs Leads To A Life Of Xubfozweig.
of 65 votes, 35% like it
Mobsters Play Baseball to See Who Can Whack the Ball Best
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Modern Radio Is Musical Water Torture.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Monday Is My Friend. Everyone Else Talks So Badly About It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
More Young People Voted For the Last American Idol Than President
of 47 votes, 21% like it
Most Astronauts Cannot Do The Moonwalk.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
Most People Have Special Talents. I Wear Funny T-Shirts.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Most People In This World Need A Funny Bone Transplant.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Move Along Eyes, Nothing To Read Here.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
Movies Taught Me Swiss Families Love Living In Treehouses.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Mrs. Robinson Was The Original MILF.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Mullets Are Like A Failure Uniform For Your Head.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Mummies Invented Wrap Music.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Museums Have No Skeletons In Their Closet, They're All On Display
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Music Notes Make So Much Noise When Taking Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Music: Now That's A Sound Idea.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Musical Statisticians Conduct Surveys.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Musically Gifted Power Lines Conduct Electricity Better.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Musicians Make Xylophone Calls.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Musicians Sign Their Checks With Time Signatures.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Musicians Strive To End on a High Note.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
My Achilles Heel is Spilt Milk
of 29 votes, 0% like it
My Active Imagination Runs Ten Miles a Day.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
My Antique Clock Has a Nervous Tick.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
My Attention Spans The Length of This Sentence.
of 50 votes, 38% like it
MY ATTENTION WHORE COMPLEX IS STARTING TO SHOW THROUGH
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Award-Winning Punctuation Skills Earned Me an Apos-Trophy!
of 444 votes, 31% like it
My Award-Winning Punctuation Skills Earned Me an Apostrophy.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
My Bad Traits Come From the Other Side of My Family.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
My Bathroom Scale Thinks I Have a Weight Problem.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
My Bed Has No Bed Time Because It Sleeps When I'm At Work.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
My Belly Button is Making Funny Faces at You Right Now.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Blinds Keep Waking Into And Breaking All The Windows.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Blinds Keep Walking Into And Breaking All The Windows.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
My Body is a Temple. The Temple of Doom.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
My Body Is Here, But My Mind is Battling Space Aliens.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
My Body Isn't Haunted, But I Sometimes Have Spirit Fingers.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
My Book of Love Has Several Pages of the Heart Chapter Ripped Out
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Books Won't Stop Paging Me.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Brain Has a Mind All Its Own.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
My Brainwaves Are So Big They've Been Known To Capsize Boats.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
My Call Of The Wild Has Been Disconnected.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
My Camera Was Arrested For Repeated Public Indecent Exposures.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
My Car Is Equipped With Turtle Shells and Banana Peels.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
My Cat Creates Things From Scratch.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
My Closet Is Very Well Hung.
of 61 votes, 25% like it
My Cousin's Sister's Best Friend Created All the Urban Legends
of 71 votes, 18% like it
My Creative Juices Are the World's Best-Selling Energy Drink!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
My Doctor Cured Me By Administering The Silent Treatment.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
My Eastern Calender Says It's The Year Of The Unlimited Buffet.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
My Eastern Calender Says This Is The Year Of The Unicorn.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
My English Teacher Has a Severe Case of Conjunctionvitis.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
My Eternal Soul Can Be Yours For Three Easy Payments of $19.95!
of 42 votes, 24% like it
My Eyes Are Drawn To Artists & Then They Color In My Pupils.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
My Family Has 2.4 Children Made By 3.8 Parents.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
My Fantasy Football Team Contains Orcs and Robin Hood
of 49 votes, 16% like it
My Fantasy Island Would Have Grossed Out Most TV Viewers.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
My Favorite Extreme Sport Is Sneaking Up On And Scaring Ghosts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
My Favorite Genre Of Movie is "Good."
of 55 votes, 47% like it
My Favorite Kind of Flower is a Reincarnation.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
My Favorite Kind Of Music Is Old-School Video Game.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
My Favorite Position is on the Back of This Shirt / (B) Shortstop
of 38 votes, 5% like it
My Favorite Reality Show is Actual Life
of 28 votes, 11% like it
My Favorite Scent Is "New Car Smell"
of 26 votes, 15% like it
My Favorite Songs Are Television Theme Shows.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
My Favorite Things To Cook Are Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jel
of 3 votes, 0% like it
My Favorite Topics To Talk About Are Politics and Religion.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
My Favorite Underground Music Hero is Indie Anna-Jones.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
My Favorite Way To Travel Is By Speed Of Light.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
My First Rule of Life: Anarchy & Chaos is the Only Way to Go.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
My Friends Jumped Off a Cliff & I Didn't Follow. Wanna Hang O
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Friends With Benefits Plan Covers Hospital Visits.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
My Funny Bone Told the Rest of My Body an Inside Joke
of 40 votes, 23% like it
My Funny Bone Was Broken Taking Part in the Last Laugh Riots.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
My Funny Bone Was Broken When I Marched In The Laugh Riots.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
My Grammar Died For Your Syntax.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
My Hand Likes To Talk Lots Of Smack.
of 72 votes, 26% like it
My Hidden Talents Are So Well Buried I Can’t Even Find Them.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
My Hobbies Include Having People Look At My Shirt.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
My Hobbies Include Wearing Shirts And Having People Stare At Them
of 25 votes, 24% like it
My Huge Dust Collection Is Nothing To Sneeze At.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
My Idea of a Perfect "10" is Sloth
of 41 votes, 0% like it
My Imaginary Friend is Holding This Shirt In Front Of Me.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
My Inner Child Is Actually Conjoined Twins.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
My Inner Child Is Trying To Make a Break For the Outside World.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
My Inner Child Loves to Play in the Outer Recesses of My Mind.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
My Inner Child Won't Take Candy From Me Because I'm A Stranger.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
My Innovation Will Someday Seem Cliche When Everybody's Doing It.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
My Intellectual Property Has a Lawn Made of SmartGrass (TM).
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Invisible Friend is Holding This Shirt Up.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Kindness And Knowledge Klub Should've Chosen Better Initials.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
My Kung Fu Moves Make Punch & Kick Sounds 5 Seconds Later.
of 50 votes, 30% like it
My Kung-Fu Master Lives in a Roundhouse.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
My Lawn's Diary Has Plenty of Dirt on Everyone.
of 44 votes, 32% like it
My Lawyer Says He Can Get Me 2 Years on the Broken Mirror Charges
of 20 votes, 15% like it
My Life Flashed Before My Eyes & Was Arrested For Exposure.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
My Life Flashed Before My Eyes And Was Arrested.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
My Life is Like a Party....The Donner Party.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
My Life is One Continuous Freestyle
of 31 votes, 10% like it
My Long-Term Goals Include Saving The Princess.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
My Lovin Skills Are So Good I Can Stimulate The Economy With 'Em.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
My Lovin Skills Are So Good They Can Stimulate The Economy.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
My Lungs Have An Oxygen Addiction Yet I Don’t Want Them To Quit.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
My Lyrics Are Always Better Than The Ones In The Actual Song.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
My Main Form of Exercise is Jogging My Memory.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
My Mind is My Heart's Prison B*tch.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Mind: Open 24 Hours With Drive-Thru.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
My Mom Hangs Up All My Pictures in the Trash Can!
of 29 votes, 34% like it
My Mom Used To Tuck Me In At Night With a Straightjacket.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
My Mood Ring Has Such A Bad Attitude About Changing Colors.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
My Name is Pac Man and I Am Addicted To Glowing Yellow Tablets...
of 21 votes, 10% like it
My Non-Verbal Communication Skills Seem To Be Working.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
My Organs Tell Me The Best Inside Jokes.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
My Organs Tell The Best Inside Jokes.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
My Other Shirt Is A Cliche Too.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
My Other Shirt is a Diamond-Encrusted Turtleneck.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
My Pay Grade Is Usually Just Above Failing.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
My Personalities Have Been Bickering, But They Haven't Split Yet.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
My Pet Hot Dog Is Really Good At Rolling Over.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
My Pet Rabbit is Going Bald, So I Got Him Hare Plugs.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
My Pets Include a Singing Frog and a Spelling Bee.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
My Recipe For Disaster Includes A Dash Of Terror And Mayhem.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
My Relationship With A Balloon Ended Because It Felt Empty Inside
of 30 votes, 27% like it
My Religion Involves Finding God And Pretending I Can't See Him.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
My Remote & TV is a Long-Distance Relationship That Works.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
My Secret Identity is That I Am Even Lazier Than You Think.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Shadow is Sensitive To Light and Only Comes Out At Night.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
My Shadow Keeps Following Me, So I Lost It In The Shade.
of 56 votes, 18% like it
My Shadow Would Make The Best Ninja.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt > Your Shirt
of 19 votes, 21% like it
My Shirt Didn't Have Anything Nice to Say.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt Had Nothing Nice To Say Today.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
My Shirt Has Lost Its Voice.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
My Shirt Is A Really Good Listener.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
My Shirt Is Actually A Circumcised Turtleneck.
of 105 votes, 36% like it
My Shirt is Having Performance Anxiety Issues Right Now.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
My Shirt is Retina ID Scanning You As This is Being Read.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
My Shirt is Retina ID Scanning You As You Read This.
of 27 votes, 7% like it
My Shirt is Sadly a Sufferer of Slogan Anxiety Syndrome.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
My Shirt Is So Paranoid, It Thinks Everyone Is Staring At It.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
My Shirt Isn't Amused by What You're Wearing Either.
of 113 votes, 20% like it
My Shirt Just Sucked 3 Seconds of Your Life Away.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Shirt Just Took Your Eye Virginity.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt Tells Me You've Been Giving It Some Weird Stares.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
My Shirt Told Me You'd Read This Today But I Didn't Believe It!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
My Skin Was Custom-Made To Fit Me Perfectly.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
My Snake Pit Is Emitting a Loud Hissing Sound. Can You Fix It?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
My Snake Pit Seems To Be Emitting a Loud Hissing Sound.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Spirit Fingers Are Extremely Haunted.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
My Spirit Guide Constantly Stops To Ask For Directions.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
My Spittoon Paintings Are the Spitting Image of the Real Things.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
My Split Personalities Were Separated at Birth.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
My Sponsor Forbids Me To Tell You Why Corporations Are Evil.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
My Spring Water Won't Stay Still Enough For Me To Drink It.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
My Suicide Notes Get More Eloquent Every Time I Write One.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
My Summer Home Is A Tree House.
of 96 votes, 39% like it
My Super Power Involves Making U Stare at the Word "Szechuan
of 2 votes, 0% like it
My Super Power Involves Making You Stare at the Word "Szechu
of 1 votes, 0% like it
My Super Power is Conjuring Ideas That Blow People's Minds Apart
of 41 votes, 10% like it
My Super Power Is Jumping To Conclusions Thousands Of Miles Away.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
My Super Power is Seeing Through Walls of Ten-Foot Thick Glass
of 44 votes, 23% like it
My Sweet Tooth Tastes So Good That I Accidentally Ate It.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
My T-Shirt And I Thank You For Your Patronage.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
My T-Shirt Couldn't Think of a Witty Catchphrase Today...Sorry.
of 57 votes, 12% like it
My T-Shirt Does the Funniest Sweater Impression You've Ever Seen
of 165 votes, 22% like it
My T-Shirt Doesn't Like Being Watched.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
My Third Impression is Way Better Than My First.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
My Thought Well Runs Deep. Did You Bring Scuba Gear?
of 44 votes, 16% like it
My Time Machine Won't Stop Blinking Midnight.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
My Train Of Thought Was Derailed & Eaten By Zombies.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
My Vegetables Can Get As Fresh With Me As They Want.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
My Violin Was Fit as a Fiddle Before It Stopped Fine Tuning.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Way Would Probably Take The Highway.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
My Window Cleaner Holds the Record for the Longest Streak.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
My Window Cleaner is a Longest Streak in History Record Holder.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
My Worst Nightmare Is A Zombie Wearing Bulletproof Headgear.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
My Xylophone Keeps Dropping Calls.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Mystical Cats Believe Everyone Has Lived Nine Past Lives.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Nature Calls The 4th Of July "Humans Attack The Sky" Da
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Near-Sighted Submarines Have a Problem With Depth Perception.
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Needles Are More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Them.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Neglected Spoons Often Get Stir-Crazy.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Nerds Who Eat Too Many Sweets Have to Get a Square Root Canal.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Neurons Are Always On My Mind.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Neurons Are Never Far From Mt Mind.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Neurons Are Never Far From My Mind.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Never Argue With A Bomb, It Might Explode With Rage.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Never Ask Pencils To Get The Lead Out, It Wears Them Down.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Never Attempt To Wear a Suitcase.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Never Become a Full-Blown Adult.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Never Bring a Jump Rope Near the Edge of a Skyscraper.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Never Call 'Shotgun' Against A Person Actually Carrying One.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Never Forget An Elephant's Birthday.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Never Lose Your Inner Unicorn.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Never Play a Game of Hot Potato With Boris and Natasha.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Never Play Hide-and-Seek With a Bat in the Dark.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Never Play Poker Against Paper, All They Do Is Fold.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Never Play Roulette at a Russian Casino.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Never Saying Sorry Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Never Shake Hands With A Lightning Bolt.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
Never Yell 'Bite Me!' At A Pool Of Piranha.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
Nice Guys Don't Win Triathlons.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Ninja Assassin For Hire
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Ninjas Are Holding This Shirt Up In Front Of Me Right Now.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
NO MATTER HOW LOUD I AM WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR MY WORDS!?!
of 26 votes, 19% like it
No Matter How Rich I Get, Cheap Feels Still Do the Trick.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
No Matter Where I Go, The World Keeps Following Me.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
No Matter Where It Goes, Oxygen is Always the Life of the Party.
of 70 votes, 33% like it
No Matter Your Weight, You Are Always Skin and Bones.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
No One Makes The Time For Heroic Quests Any More.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Noise Pollution is the #1 Cause For So Much Music Being Recycled.
of 57 votes, 35% like it
Non-Sequitur Comments Are Great, But My Pet Frog Is Even Better.
of 36 votes, 42% like it
Noogies: Head Rubs Gone Bad!
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Nostalgic for a time when nostalgia didn't rule our lives
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Nostradamus Predicted You'd Be Reading This Shirt Today
of 204 votes, 27% like it
Not Asking For Directions When You Are Lost is a Character Flaw.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
Nothing Motivates People Like Fear, So... BOO!!!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Nouns Are Sick and Tired of Being Objectified as Things!
of 51 votes, 24% like it
Nowadays, A Penny For Your Thoughts Will Only Buy You A Brainfart
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Nowadays, Ghosts Only Haunt If There's A TV Crew Present.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Nuclear Bombs Are Just Explosive Airmail.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Nude Beaches: Where The Sand REALLY Let's It All Hang Out.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Numbers Below Zero Are Always So Negative.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Numerous Studies Have Convinced Me That I Don't Like Reading Them
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Nuns and Chucks Are Peaceful Apart, But A Deadly Combination.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Nuns That Don't Shower Have Really Dirty Habits.
of 74 votes, 32% like it
Nurseries Are Proof That Babies Grow On Trees.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Nursing A Beer Shows What A Kind-Hearted Helper I Am.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Occasionally My Neck Opens Up & Dispenses Tart Candy Squares.
of 119 votes, 38% like it
Octagons: Just 8 Tentacles Short Of Being An Underwater Menace.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Octopi Overcompensate In Arms For What They Lack In Tails.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Octopus Politicians Can Shake Eight Hands At Once.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Office Supplies Are Not A Staple Of a Good Diet.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Official 'T-Shirt: The Movie' T-Shirt
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Oh Shoots & Ladders: The Ultimate Game For Spoil Sports.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Oh Sure I'm An Evil Genius, But That One Trait Doesn't Define Me.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
OJ Companies Lie To Us Through False Tales of Pulp Fiction.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Old Cartoons Come Back To Life When You Re-Animate Them.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
Old Photographs Are Like Instant Time Travel Machines.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Old Photographs Don't Die, They Just Fade Away.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Old School Filmmakers Always Keep It Reel.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
Old-School Filmmakers Try To Keep It Reel.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Old-School Gamers Walk Through Life From Left to Right.
of 92 votes, 29% like it
Old-School Sound Technicians Like to Keep It Reel to Reel.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
Older Lightning Bolts Suffer From Hot Flashes.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Olympic Swimmers Hang Out in Dive Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
On an Expedition to Recover 5 Million Buried E.T. Cartridges
of 44 votes, 7% like it
On Hot & Sunny Days, Death Indulges In Pop-Sickles.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
On The Other Hand, You Have More Fingers.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Once Hell Freezes Over, All My Dreams Will Come True.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
Once I Fix My Cloaking Device, You Won't Be Able To Read This.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Once They Pass Away, DJ's Spin in Their Graves.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Once Upon A Time, All Stories Began This Way.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Once You Have Amnesia, Everything Old Is New Again!
of 21 votes, 38% like it
Once You've Sold Ur Soul to the Devil, Can You Re-Finance It Too?
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Once You've Sold Your Soul to the Devil, Can It Be Re-Financed?
of 47 votes, 26% like it
One More Word and We're Gonna Fight! Now, Which Word is It?
of 38 votes, 3% like it
one of my past lives definitely kicked your past life in the shin
of 41 votes, 12% like it
One of the Greatest Unsolved Crimes in History: Who Killed Latin?
of 48 votes, 27% like it
One Of The Strings On My Air Guitar Is Broken.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
one of your past lives definitely made my past life smile.
of 31 votes, 3% like it
Online War Games: Not A Contact Sport.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
Only Jerks And Total Losers Insult Other People.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
Only One In Ten People Go Completely Insane After Reading This.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Only People Who Have Led Dirty Lives Flash Before Their Eyes.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Only Stupid People Can Count Backwards From Z.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Only The Coolest Wizards Wear Their Hats Backward.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Only the Lord Can Judge Me. Oh, and Judges.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
Onomatopoeias Go BUMP! in the Night.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
Operators Are a Bunch of Big Phonies.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Operators Will Always Be Number Zero In My Heart.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
OptimisticPessimist:I Hope For the Best,But It Ain't Gonna Happen
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Orange Juice Companies Lie To Us Through Tales of Pulp Fiction.
of 61 votes, 31% like it
Orange Juice Sounds Better Than Drinking An Orange's Blood.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Original Sin is Tough Nowadays With People's Lack Of Creativity.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
Our Ancestors Are People We Can Really Relate To.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Our Encounter May Contain Adult Situations & Brief Nudity.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Our Overlord Alien Masters Invented the Internet
of 37 votes, 8% like it
Our Shirts Seem to Like Each Other. Let's Give Them Some Privacy.
of 63 votes, 22% like it
Out of My Circle of Friends, I'm Known as the 'Interesting' One.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Out With The Old Words, In With The Newlatastic!
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Out With The Old, In With The Soon-To-Be Old!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Outer Space Features A Star-Studded Cast Of Characters.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Outer Space is in Dire Need Of Some Rainbows.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Outer Space Really Expands Your Mind. And Then Blows It Up.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Outer Space Takes My Breath Away!
of 36 votes, 14% like it
Outer Space Takes My Breath Away.
of 76 votes, 30% like it
Outer Space Thinks That Gravity Is A Myth.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Outer Space: It'll Take Your Breath Away!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Overworked Candles Get All Burned Out.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Owl Construction Sites Bring Hooting to a Whole New Level.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Ownlee Weelie Schmat Peapole Kaan Reid Diz Slowgahn
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Oxygen: It's What I Live & Breathe For.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Pacemakers = Zombie and Vampire Zap Protectors.
of 52 votes, 8% like it
Pacing: The Preferred Exercise of Duelists Everywhere.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Pacing: The Preferred Form of Exercise For Duelists Everywhere.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Painkillers Are Not Hired Assassins That Murder Where It Hurts.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Painting Your Submarine Yellow Greatly Increases Torpedo Attacks.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Paintings Are So Lazy, All They Want To Do Is Hang Out.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Paintings Are So Lazy, They Just Hang Around The House All Day.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Palindromes Are Cool looC erA semordnilaP
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Paper Clips: The Touchy-Feely Hugger Of The Office Supply World.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Paper Dies A Little Every Time You R.I.P. It.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Parking Lot Robbery is a Lot Easier Than Highway Robbery.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
Party Animals Surround Their Prey on the Dancefloor.
of 158 votes, 34% like it
Passing Musical Notes is Way Too Loud During Class.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Payback’s A Female Dog.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Peace Signs Can Also Be Used For the Deadly Double-Eye Poke.
of 65 votes, 35% like it
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches Makes the World Stick Together.
of 83 votes, 24% like it
Pencils Gnaw On Themselves When They Get Nervous.
of 37 votes, 38% like it
Pennies Are the Red-Headed Stepchildren of the Currency Family.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
Pennies: The Only Currency Openly Mocked By Other Coins.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
People Can Be So Stupid When They Don't Put Their Minds To It.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
People Don't Shoot Guns. Fingers Are The Ones Who Shoot Guns.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
People Kill Time, Text Fills Space.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
People Really Seem To Be Into Whipping Dead Horses These Days.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
People Roll On the Floor Laughing A Lot More Than They Used To.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
People Say I'm A Good Listener. At Least I Think They Said That.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
People Say I'm Apathetic, But I Really Couldn't Care Less.
of 41 votes, 34% like it
People Say I'm Crazy, But They All Fly Away Before I Can Respond.
of 53 votes, 25% like it
People Talk About Grave Robbing Like It's A Bad Thing.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
People Tend To Howl Loudly When I Moon Them.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
People Who Belittle Others Are Pathetic Losers.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
People Who Can't Spell Never Feel Quite Write.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
People Who Dislike MP3 Devices Are Just Player Haters
of 40 votes, 13% like it
People Who Eat Bedspreads Are Full of Sheet
of 38 votes, 18% like it
People Who Have Cheese Allergies Shouldn't Stare At the Moon.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
People Who Just Say No To Inanimate Drugs Are Probably High.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
People Who Love Being Mean To Others Celehate On a Regular Basis.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
People Who Need Lots Of Reinforcement Annoy Me. Am I Right Folks?
of 36 votes, 33% like it
People: A Biodegradable Product.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Periodic Tables Hate Exclamations, But Not Their Points.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Perverted Submarines Look Up Aircraft Carrier's Skirts.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Pet Rocks Break Glass Windows When You Let Them Off The Leash.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
Phantoms Are Ghosts With A Touch Of Class.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Phobias Scare The Hell Out Of Me.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Phone Booths Are an Endangered Species.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Photosynthesis is Communist Propaganda and I Can Prove It!
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Picked Last For Gym, But First For Group Projects.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Picked Last In Gym But First In Life.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Pictures Are So Lazy, All They Do Is Hang Around The House.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Pie Charts Are As Delicious As They Are Informative.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Pie-rates Are Really Tasty, Apart From The Scurvy Filling.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Pieces of Bread Don't Like To Feel Too Toasty.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Pieces Of Dark Matter Are Really Space Ninjas.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Piggy Banks Are The Best Place To Save Your Extra Bacon.
of 57 votes, 28% like it
Pigs Secretly Love Bacon As Much As The Rest of Us.
of 54 votes, 28% like it
Pillow Fights End When One Sustains a Critical Loss of Feathers.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
Pimp Fireman Know How To Treat Their Hose.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Pimpin' Aint Easy. But You Get To Wear Really Cool Clothes.
of 57 votes, 35% like it
Pinnochio Is Just Trying To Keep It Real, Boy.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Pipe Cleaners Should Just Be Renamed Kindergarten Art Sculptures.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Pirate Swimming Pools Have Planks Instead Of Diving Boards.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Pirates Don't Share a Carpool Very Well.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Pirates Knock On Their Wooden Peglegs For Good Luck.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Pirates Versus Ninjas: Who Would Win a Hugging Competition?
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Pirates Who Eat Other Pirates Engage In Cannonballism.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Pitchforks: Equally Good At Baling Hay Or Poking Evildoers.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Plagiarism Is Like Robbing People's Memory Banks.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Planets Understand The Gravity Of Their Situation.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Platinum Crosses Temporarily Blind God.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Playground Mood Swings Always Go Too High Or Low.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Playgrounds Encourage Child-ish Behaviors.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Playgrounds Lead to Child-ish Behaviors.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Playing "Whisper Down the Lane" With Ur Darkest Secrets
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Playing Cards Are Well Suited For Their Profession.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Playing Cards Never Take Anything Seriously.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Playing Hop Scotch As A Child Leads To A Life Of Drinking!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Playing Tic-Tac-Toe Against Me Usually Ends With a XXX Experience
of 41 votes, 24% like it
Playing Tic-Tac-Toe With Me Usually Turns Into a XXX Affair
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Plays Always Feel So Staged.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Please Ask Before Taking The Words Right Out Of My Mouth.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
Please Ask Before Taking Words Right Out Of My Mouth.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Please Converse...There's SOMETHING To See Here
of 33 votes, 3% like it
Please Hold All My Calls, I'm In the Middle of a Play-Date.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Please Respect My Wishes By Not Reading This Shirt.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
Please Stop Looking, You're Only Encouraging My Narcissism!
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Please Stop The Crazy Talk, I Can't Hear The Voices In My Head.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Poison Cures Hiccups Fast
of 117 votes, 18% like it
Poison Is The Most Effective Cure For The Common Cold.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Polar Bears May Go Extinct But Their Future On T-Shirts Is Secure
of 36 votes, 33% like it
Polka Dots Are The Art World’s Version Of Chicken Pox.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Pooping Is My Favorite Weight-Loss Program.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Pop Music: Turning Candy Shops Into Bordellos Since 2000.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Popping an Army Officer/Popping Too Soon = Dishonorable Discharge
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Popularity Isn't Everything. Just Ask My Millions of Friends.
of 43 votes, 26% like it
Porcupines Make Really Awful Running Shoes.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Possession Is 9/10ths of the Law Of Exorcism.
of 61 votes, 20% like it
Pot Holes: Not As Fun To Fall Into As They Sound.
of 62 votes, 21% like it
Preschool Protozoa Play With Cell Blocks.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
President Of The Never Closing The Screen Door Club.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
President, CEO and Mascot Of Me, Myself & I Inc.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Prevent The Spread of Yawning Outbreaks By Getting Lots of Sleep!
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Prison is Just a Mandatory Gated Community.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
Pro Nouns Are Called Up From the Grammatical Minor Leagues
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Professional Bed Bug Exterminator: Free Bedroom Consultations!
of 45 votes, 4% like it
Professional Sea Chanty Composer
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Protractors Know How To Work All The Angles.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Protractors Know How To Work All The Right Angles.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Puppets Talk Out Of Their Ass When You Put Them On Backwards.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Put Your Hands in the Air Like You Don't Care! Now, With Feeling.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
Putting On a Silk Shirt is Like Wearing A Worm's Poop Costume.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Pyramids Are Proof That Egyptians Loved Geometry Class.
of 79 votes, 39% like it
Pyromaniacs Have Good Intentions That Always Go Up in Flames.
of 415 votes, 36% like it
Pyromaniacs set my heart ablaze
of 30 votes, 3% like it
Pythons Are Lousy Huggers.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Q: How Do Mathletes Say Goodbye? A: Calcu-LATER!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Question Indisputable Facts
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Quiet! The Voices Inside My Head Are Trying To Think!
of 45 votes, 27% like it
Quit Looking For an Outlet on Me, You Can't Pull My Plug
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Rabbits Vs. Kangaroos: The Ultimate Hip-Hop Battle!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Raging Waters Need To See An Anger Therapist.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Rainbows Are Made From Unicorn Blood.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Rainbows Are Really Gold-Transfer Tubes Disguised By Leprechauns.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Rainbows Are Really Used For Clouds Playing Sky Limbo.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Rainbows Didn't Choose To Be Gay, They Are Just Born That Way.
of 53 votes, 30% like it
Rainbows Pass Over Our Heads With Flying Colors
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Raise Both Your Hands If You Like Getting Arrested!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Raise Both Your Legs If You Like To Jump!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Raise Your Second Hand If You Still Like Watches.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Raise Your Tentacles If You Like Mutants!
of 27 votes, 37% like it
Raised on a Construction Site by Pirates- So Yeah, I Curse A Lot
of 167 votes, 21% like it
Raisin Brain is Part of a Zombie's Complete Breakfast
of 42 votes, 17% like it
Raising the Dead is Really Hard on the Knees.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
Random Hitchhiking Gets a Big Thumbs Up From Me.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Random This Sentence is One.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Rap Groups Have Already Taken All the Coolest Clan Names.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Reaching For The Stars Gave Me Super Invibility Power
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Reaching For The Stars Gave Me Super Invincibility Power!
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Reading Funny Shirts All Day Burns 18 Calories. Way To Exercise!
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Reading Helps Your Brain Grow Stronger. You’re Welcome.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Reading Improves Your Health. You're Welcome.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Reading Is Good For You. I Just Made Your Eyes Healthier.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Reading Is Good For You. This Shirt Just Made You Healthier!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Reading the Word "Szechuan" Instantly Spices Up a Boring Tee
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Reading This is Like Giving Your Eyes a Back Massage, Ain't It?
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Reading This Only Encourages Me.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Reading This Sentence is a Binding Agreement to Be in My Fanclub.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Reading This Tee May Cause Eye Strain And Higher Blood Pressure.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Reading Words In Ur Head is Like Receiving Telepathic Morse Code
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Reality Game Shows Need More Gauntlets.
of 50 votes, 16% like it
Rebellious Airplanes Constantly Disobey Their Control Towers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Recapture Your Youth By Getting Kidnapped.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Rectal Temps Suck if You Don't Know Your Ass From Your Elbow
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Recycle Bottles Not Jokes.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Recycling Is Just Pieces Of Garbage Being Reincarnated.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Red Carpet Always Gets Invited To The Most Exclusive Events.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Red-Headed Stepchildren Get a Bad Rap. Sometimes in the Mouth.
of 54 votes, 15% like it
Reduce Reused And Recycled Ideas.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Reincarnation: Nature's Recycling Program At Work.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Relationships With Seasons Are Hard Because They Keep Changing.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Religion Gives Me a Headache Directly in the Temple.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
Religion: I'm Into It For All The Sects.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Religion: It's Good For All Kinds of Sects.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Religious Leaders Are Very Interesting Papal.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Remainders Stop Mathematicians From Practicing Equal Rights.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Remainders: The Lonely Spinsters of the Numerical Community.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
Remember Kids: Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 92 votes, 17% like it
Remember To Brush Your Dirty Mind Or You May Get Brain Cavities.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Remember When Music Used to Cost Money?
of 386 votes, 34% like it
Remember, Only You Can Prevent Thinking Too Far In Advance.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Reminiscing Is The Easiest Way To Time Travel.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Repeat a Word Today Until It Loses All Meaning.
of 106 votes, 39% like it
Respect the Elderly. They Were Once Real People Too.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
RESPECT: It's Not Just For Black Soul Singers Anymore.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Restrooms Are Probably The Last Place You Want To Take A Nap In.
of 50 votes, 30% like it
Return Your Old Library Books. It's Long Overdue.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With A Side Of Sarcasm Fries.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Rhetorical Questions: Is There Anything They Can't Do?
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Rhetorical Questions: Is There Anything They Can’t Do?
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Riding Off Into the Sunset Can Burn Something Awful.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Riding Tumbleweeds Is The Greenest Form Of Transportation.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
Right Now I'm Performing a One-Man Play Reality Show.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Right Now, Something Utterly Amazing is Happening Behind You
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Right Now, Somewhere In Fairy Tale Land, Unicorns Are Having Sex
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Right Triangles Are The Most Stubborn of All Shapes.
of 85 votes, 39% like it
Right Triangles Can Never Admit They've Made a Mistake.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Ring Worms Don't Work Well For Marriage Proposals.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Rip Van Winkle is the Ultimate Sleep Study Candidate
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Rise Up Against Gravity and Its Policies to Keep People Down!
of 224 votes, 33% like it
Road Constructing In Oz Isn't A Very Good Use For Gold.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Road Construction In Oz Isn't A Very Good Use For Gold.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
Roadkill Is A Great Source Of Vitamins, Protein and Burnt Rubber.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Robot Athletes Boost Their Performance With Illegal Processors.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Robots Are So Emotionless Towards Me.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Robots, Ninjas & Pirates: Who Would Win a Hugging Competition
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Robots, Ninjas & Pirates: Who Would Win a Hugging Contest?
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Rocket Scientists Insult Others By Saying 'That Guy's No Me.'
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Rocket Ships Throw The Best Launch Parties.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Role Playing Games: Not Just For Adventurous Couples Anymore.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
Rolling on the Floor Laughing Happens Around Asylums & Comput
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Romantic Computer Geek Couples Love Staying In ROMs With A View.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Rome Lasted For Seven Hundred Years Before It Fell
of 42 votes, 5% like it
Rome Wasn't Built In A Day Because They Were Extremely Lazy.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Rome Wasn't Built in a Day, It Took a Long Weekend.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Root Beer and Ice Cream Should Not Be Used As A Flotation Device.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
Rubbing Me the Wrong Way is Impossible
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Rugs Get Tired Of Being Stepped On All The Time.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
Rule Number One Of Blabbermouth Club Is Tell Everyone About It.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Runaway Trains Are Usually The Result Of A Broken Home.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Runners Can't Help Themselves From Starting Race Wars.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
Running Around After Eating Really Cramps My Style.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Sadly, Birthday Cakes Won’t Live Long Enough To Celebrate Theirs.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Sadly, The Hostess Of A Party Does Not Contain Cream Filling.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Safes Are For Boring People, I Keep All My Money In A Dangerous.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
Santa Went Green This Year And Gave Me Clean Coal In My Stocking!
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Sarcastic People Are Just Too Cool For Me.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
Saturday: The Most Popular Kid In Calender School.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Save Energy By Turning Off The Northern Lights Before Bed.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Save The Rainbows! Ban Leprechaun Poaching.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
SAVE THE UNICORNS! Start By Using Your Imagination Again.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Say No To Drugs, But Don’t Say It To Them or You’re Probably High
of 39 votes, 26% like it
Say No To Drugs. Don’t Sail The High Seas.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Say Something Original & Profound. Yup, It's Been Said Befor
of 36 votes, 3% like it
Scapegoats Help People Get Right To The Finger Point.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Scaring Yourself To Death: Still The Cheapest Way To Get High.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Sci-Fi Nerds Usually Keep Their Defense Shields Up.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Science Jesus Diode For Your Sines.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Science Lies, Tiny Wizards Make The Lights Go On and Off.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Science: The Religion That Does Its Best To Spoil All Others.
of 46 votes, 33% like it
Science: Remember All Those Facts From Yesterday? Forget All That
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Science: Where Fact Babies Come From.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Scientists Always Feel The Need To Prove A Point.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Scientists Love To Study Pop Cultures In The Lab.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Scientologists Run Hollywood
of 50 votes, 8% like it
Scissor Always Beats Rock At A Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Scissors Always Beat Paper At A Ribbon Cutting Ceremony.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Screw Butterflies, I've Got Fire-Breathing Dragons In My Stomach.
of 42 votes, 31% like it
Screw Gouda and Swiss, My Government Makes the Best Cheese!
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Screw Neo. Rubber Ducky is "The One."
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Screw Socrates: Calvin and Hobbes Are My Favorite Philosophers
of 36 votes, 14% like it
Screw the Sex Pistols, Punky Brewster Never Sold Out.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Search Parties = Fun Until Finding What You Were Looking For.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Seasons Change Their Mind Too Much For Me To Trust Them.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Second Guessing: Your Brain's Backseat Driver.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
Seeing Me Dance is Like Watching a Crime Scene Re-Enactment.
of 503 votes, 33% like it
Self-Appointed Town Crier
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Send Help Please! I'm Trapped Inside A T-Shirt Printing Factory!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Setting Off Fireworks Is Like Shooting The Sky In The Face.
of 55 votes, 36% like it
SEX! DRUGS! ROCK'N'ROLL!: 3 words this shirt DOES not endorse
of 50 votes, 10% like it
SEX! DRUGS! ROCKN'ROLL! are 3 things this shirt does not endorse.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Sexually Active Artists Are Pro Create.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
Shake My Water Bottle Up Before I Drink It. I Dare You.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Shaking Hands = Finger Hugging.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Shaking Hands Could Also Be Called Finger Hugging.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Shall We Play a Game of Global Thermo Nuclear War?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
Shall We Take the Helicopter To My Exotic Island of Mystery?
of 42 votes, 31% like it
Shards of Glass Taste Better With Window Dressing
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Shark Week Can Bite Me.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
Shark Week Is No Match For Unicorn Week.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Sharpened All the Tools in My Shed & Feel Smarter Already!
of 74 votes, 24% like it
Shoot the Messenger In a Kneecap. Make Sure He's Not Holding Out
of 36 votes, 11% like it
Shops = Neon Arrows, Women = Cleavage, Men = Words on a Shirt
of 46 votes, 9% like it
Short & Stout Teapots Have Horrible Self-Images.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Should I Play Through Life Today as Mario... or Link?
of 56 votes, 14% like it
Shouldn't a Self-Help Book Be Written By You?
of 32 votes, 9% like it
Shouldn't Paper Work Fill Itself Out?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Show Someone Your Friendship is Timeless : Send Them Snail Mail
of 38 votes, 8% like it
Silence Isn't Golden, It's Much More Rare And Precious Than That.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Silently Judging You and Tabulating the Votes
of 43 votes, 16% like it
Silly Romans, You Got The Alphabet Mixed In With Your Numbers!
of 41 votes, 27% like it
Simile Like You Mean It.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Simon Says Yawn After Someone Else Yawns.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Simon Says Yawn.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Singer/Songwriters = Nueroses Set to Music
of 32 votes, 6% like it
Single Archeologists Are Really Into the Carbon Dating Scene.
of 54 votes, 28% like it
Sir DanceAlot
of 36 votes, 11% like it
Sir, Can You Spare Some Climate Change?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Skeletons Are Dead to Me.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Skeletons Are Getting Too Thin When You Can See Their Bones.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Skeletons Tell The Best Inside Jokes.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Ski Slopes Always End on Such a Downer.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
Ski Slopes are Like Giant Sno Cones Without the Sweet Flavoring.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Skies, Forests And Lakes Are All So Good-Natured.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Skipping > Walking
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Skunks Are Really Good At Playing Funk Rock.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Sky Writing Proves That My Cloud Literacy Program is Working.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Skydivers Travel By Way of Gravity.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Skydiving Is Fun Until You Bellyflop Into a Cloud.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Skyscrapers Are Fun At Parties Because They Have The Most Stories
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Skyscrapers Are Making Holes in the Ozone Layer
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Sleepwalkers Sure Do Some CraZZZy Things.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Sleepwalkers Sure Get Themselves Into CraZZZy Situations.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Sleepwalking Is My Favorite Kind Of Workout.
of 57 votes, 33% like it
Sliced Bread With Laser Eyes: An Invention Worthy of the Hype.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Slugworth was destroyed by illegal Willy Wonka labor practices
of 49 votes, 14% like it
Small Talk is the Fast Food of Communication.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Smart Cookies Scream A Little More When You Eat Them.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Smart People in '08
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Smart Zombies Eat Plenty of Brain Food.
of 163 votes, 38% like it
Smartbombs Were Always The Biggest Nerds In Artillery School.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Smartbombs Will Impress Me When They Realize The Futility Of War.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Smelling the Box of Cookies is Better Than Having Just One.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Smile if You Love To Frown!
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Smile. Odds Are Someone is Filming You Right Now.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Smile. Someone's Probably Filming You Right Now.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Snakes Are Always Biting My Style.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Snakes Are Always Biting My Style. And By Style, I Mean Leg.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Sneezing And Explosions Really Blow Me Away.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Sniffing Fabric Softener Sheets: My Anti-Drug.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Sniffing Magic Markers Turns Your World Into One Big Trick.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Snot Rockets Are The Grossest Form Of Space Travel.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Snow Banks Tend To Freeze All Of My Assets.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Snowmen Don't Die, They Just Melt Away.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Snowmen Try Not To Get Too Angry For Fear Of A Meltdown.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Snozzberry Salesman
of 33 votes, 15% like it
So Hot Clothes Normally Melt Off of Me- This Shirt is Titanium.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
So Metal I Can't Even Get Through An Airport Detector
of 98 votes, 18% like it
So Metal I'm Listed on the Chart of Periodic Elements
of 31 votes, 6% like it
So Metal I'm Listed on the Periodic Elements Chart
of 65 votes, 14% like it
So Strong I Stopped My Own Abortion
of 44 votes, 14% like it
So THAT'S What You Look Like When You're Reading Something!
of 21 votes, 19% like it
So This Is What a Novel Feels Like When A Person Reads It.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
So THIS is What the Edge of the Internet Looks Like...
of 11 votes, 0% like it
So This is What the Fall of a Civilization Feels Like...
of 48 votes, 13% like it
So, Read Any Good Shirts Lately?
of 20 votes, 25% like it
So, What's Your Sign? Mine's "No Parking".
of 41 votes, 17% like it
Soft Rock Is Only Better Than Hard Rock If They’re Thrown At You.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Solar Eclipses: I Think The Sun Has Something In Its Eye.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Some Ancient Cultures Believed Reading Slogans Was Bad Luck.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Some Broken Speakers Just Really Prefer Being Good Listeners.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Some Cultures Believe By Reading A Slogan It Can Steal Your Soul.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Some Numbers Are Always In Their Prime.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Some People Don't Realize Life is Precious Until You Kill Them.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Some People Drink To Forget, I Just Eat Paint Chips.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Some People Need To Rinse Their Head Out With Brainwash.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
Some People Steal Hearts, But I Thieve Kidneys
of 204 votes, 28% like it
Some Pirates Call It A Plank, I Call It A Diving Board.
of 27 votes, 37% like it
Some Say I Have A Gift For Accepting Presents.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
Some Say I'm Too Demeaning, But They Were Born Without Mothers.
of 38 votes, 5% like it
Some Saying Lie. You'll Never Win A Fencing Duel With A Pen.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Some Sayings Lie. You'll Never Win A Fencing Duel With A Pen.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Somebody Hit a Baseball Through My Windows To The Soul!
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Sometime My Clothes Just Wear Off.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Sometimes Angels Need To Let Down Their Halos and Rock Out.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Sometimes I Beat Myself Up, But At Least I Always Win the Fight.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
Sometimes Life Makes No Spanish Walrus Sense At All.
of 62 votes, 21% like it
Sometimes My Body Language Is A Bit Dyslexic.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
Sometimes My Jokes Bomb So Badly I Level Entire Cities
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Sometimes My Phone Doesn't Feel Like Talking To Anyone.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Sometimes Ouija Boards Make No Seance At All.
of 51 votes, 27% like it
Sometimes This World Feels Like Running With Porcupine Shoes On.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Sometimes While Driving I Have Bumper Car Flashbacks.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
Sorry If I Just Blew Your Mind. I Keep a Spare in the Trunk.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Sorry My Shirt Is Staring At Your Eyes, How Very Rude Of It.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
Sorry, I Seem To Have Worn My Poker Face To a Game of Gin Rummy.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Sorry, The Funnier Shirt I Was Gonna Wear Today Called Out Sick.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Space Colonies Riot By Dumping Tea Off of Space Shuttles.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Spam Mail Wouldn't Be As Bad If You Could Actually Eat It.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Speaking Latin is Like Turning a Dead Language into a Zombie
of 64 votes, 19% like it
Speed Bumps Are Not Nearly As Fun As they Sound.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Speed Limits Are Such Liars. My Car Goes Way Faster Than That.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Speed Limits Lie, My Car Can Go WAAAY Faster Than Fifty-Five.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Speeding Tickets Are Only For People Who Can't Outrun The Cops.
of 37 votes, 32% like it
Spelling Bees: All Fun & Games Until Someone Loses on an &quo
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Spelling Bees: All Fun & Games Until Someone Loses on an 'I'.
of 62 votes, 29% like it
Squares Can't Even Corner The Market On Themselves.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Squids Have A Surprisingly Hard Time Getting Ink Stains Out.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
STAFF ONLY. No Canes Or Walking Sticks Permitted.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
Staircases Are Tired Of Being Stepped On Their Whole Lives.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Staircases Have Many Step Brothers and Sisters.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Stairs Really Need To Step It Up.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
Stakes: Equally Good For Playing Horseshoes Or Slaying Vampires.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Star Watching Is A Lot More Challenging in the Daytime.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
Stare Harder At These Words To See a Hidden Picture.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Start Off Your Day In Altered Reality With A Bowl Of Surreal.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Starting Fires: Inspiring Electronica And Piano Rock Songs Alike.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Starving Performance Artist. Will Work For Picture Of Food.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Static Electricity Gives Me Shocking Superpowers.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
Status Update: Yup, I'm Still A T-Shirt.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Steal Music...Just Buy Some Merch When You See The Band Play.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
STEAL THIS SHIRT...I DARE YA.
of 42 votes, 10% like it
Stealing A Kiss From Me Is Your First Step Into A Life Of Crime.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Stealing Cash From Wishing Wells Can Make Your Dreams Come True.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
Stealing Coins From Wishing Wells Can Make Your Dreams Come True.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Stealing the Rings of Saturn Would Be the Ultimate Jewel Heist.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Step One For How To Draw A Blank:
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Stick Around, My Neck Occasionally Dispenses Candy.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
Stick With Me, I Invented Time Travel Ten Years From Now.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
Sticks & Stones Break My Bones, But Words Stab Me in the Back
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Stab Me in the
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Sticks & Stones Won't Break My Bones, But Trees & Boulder
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Sticks & Stones Won't Break My Bones, But Trees and Boulders
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Still To This Day, General Tso Wages War On The Digestive System.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY. Be More Peaceful With Your Horse Play.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Stop Dipping Your Toe In The Pool Of Life And Dive Right In!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Stop Noise Pollution By Putting Silencers On All Your Guns.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
STOP RACISM. Then Ask It Why It's So Racist.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Stop Reading This Shirt, It's On Break For The Next Hour.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Stop Reading This Shirt. You Couldn't Help Yourself, Could You?
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Stop Reading This Tee Hee! Your Eyes Are Tickling Me!
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Stop Running From Your Troubles And Kick 'Em The Face.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Stop Undressing the Words On My Shirt With Your Eyes!
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Stop Violence In Sports By Hugging A Baseball Not Hitting It.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Stop. Look Around. Smile. Continue On With Your Day.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
Stop. Remember How Good Your First Cookie Tasted. Continue Life.
of 49 votes, 22% like it
Storms Ruin All My Plans When I Sky-Write My Daily 'To-Do' List.
of 44 votes, 36% like it
Straitjackets Are Way More Comfy After You Get the Straps Off!
of 28 votes, 4% like it
Studies Show That People Like To Read Shirts with Words On Them.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
Submarine Screen Door Installer
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Subtitles Make Reading English In Any Language Easy As Pie.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Suicide Notes Always End on Such a Downer.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Sunbathers Are the Equivalent of Human Pieces of Toast.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Sunny Days Give Me An Extra Glow. (UV colors on slogan in sun)
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Sunny Side Up Eggs Aren't Very Happy After Being Cooked.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Support Your Local Grammar Police, The Internet Needs Them!
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Surfing The Ocean Is Really Hard To Do When Riding A Keyboard.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Surfing The Ocean Is Really Hard To Do When Using A Keyboard.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Surprisingly, Rest Rooms Are Terrible Places To Take A Nap.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
Swearing In Ceremonies Are Such Vulgar Affairs.
of 39 votes, 5% like it
Sweet Revenge Is A Dish Best Served On Top Of A Poisoned Sundae.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Swing Dancing Is Fun Until You Fall Off In Mid-Air.
of 33 votes, 33% like it
Swinging Your Arms While Walking is Like Punching Air in the Face
of 42 votes, 29% like it
T-Shirts With Words Get All The Attention.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Tackling Your Problems Head-On Leads To Lots of Concussions.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Tackling Your Problems Head-On Leads To Many Concussions.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Taking A Bite Out Of Crime Tastes Like Dog Food.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Taking Sugar Pills Cured My Sweet Tooth.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Talketh Like This Doth Make Ye Sound Classy.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Talking About The Banking World Makes My Interest Rates Plummet.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Talking About the Stock Market Makes My Interest Rates Plummet.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Talking Liketh This Doth Make Ye Sound Classy.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Tall People Talk Down To Everyone.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Tarzan Was the Ultimate Swinger.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
Tarzan Works Out At Jungle Gyms.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
Taste is a Matter of Opinion, and That Just Really Sucks.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
Teachers Don't Buy The Idea That I'm 'Too Big To Fail'.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Teamwork Mode in Contra is the Ultimate Friendship Test.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
TECH(hell)NO
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Techno Werewolf
of 36 votes, 6% like it
Teddy Bears Can't Eat More Food Because They're Already Stuffed.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Teddy Bears May Look Cute Now, But They Grow Up To Be Grizzlies.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
Tell Me a Few Knock-Knock Jokes and I'm Yours.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Tell Me Something Interesting, My Neurons Are Hungry.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Telling A Record To Sit And Spin Isn't An Insult.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Ten Bucks Says You Blink Before My T-Shirt Does
of 38 votes, 11% like it
Tennis Players Make Bad Servers At Fancy Dinner Parties.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Tennis: The Only Sport Where Having Zero Gives You the Most Love.
of 593 votes, 36% like it
Texting Down The Lane Just Isn't As Much Fun As Whispering.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Thank You For Your Eye Support.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Thank You For Your Stares.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Thankfully Trees Are All Bark, No Bite.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
Thanks For Getting My Back. Hey, What's That Stabbing Sensation?
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Thanks Glass Of Water For Hydrating Me But Not Drowning Me.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Thanks Technology, Now I've Forgotten How To Talk IRL.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
Thanks To Pollution, There Are No Longer Many Fish In The Sea.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
The Abridged Version Of A Book Is Easier To Cross.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
The Alphabet Could Use Some Emoticons.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
The Alphabet Song Gets Me From Point A To Point B In Record Time.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
The Amount of Stars in the Sky is Astronomical.
of 50 votes, 20% like it
The Angry Bird Gets The Pig.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
The Answer To How We Can Talk Is Right Under Our Noses.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
The Answers To Life Are As Follows: A, D, B, All of the Above, C.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
The Apartment I Live in is Complex.
of 46 votes, 15% like it
The Battle Between Cats and Dogs Is a Media-Created Myth!
of 30 votes, 20% like it
The Battle Of Bear Vs. Shark Is All About Homefield Advantage.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
The Battle of the Sexes Makes Love AND War At The Same Time.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
The Best Cars Have A Lot Of Drive In Them.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
The Best Ghost Stories Are Penned By Ghost Writers.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
The Bible: WARNING! Events Are Exaggerated For Dramatic Purposes.
of 33 votes, 33% like it
The Big Bad Wolf's Favorite Kind of Music is the Blews.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
The Book Based On The Movie That Was Based On The Book Was Better
of 23 votes, 30% like it
The Charm School I Attended Was For Snakes Not Manners.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
The Cheap Man's Carousel: Drink, Fall Down and Close Your Eyes
of 46 votes, 9% like it
The Circle of Life Has a Gigantic Circumference.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
The Circle Of Life Is No Match For The Trapezoid Of Death.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
The Citizens of Hell Are Such Flamers.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
The Cure For the Common Rock Track: Whale Song Solos!
of 48 votes, 6% like it
The Current Silence Market Has Devalued Gold Substantially.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
The Current Silence Market Has Tripled Gold's Value.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
The Dark Ages Were Much Cooler Than the Neon-Colored Ages.
of 43 votes, 26% like it
The Dark Side of the Moon Was The First Emo Cellestrial Body.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
The Daylight Saves Time By Re-Using Old Sunsets.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
The Dictionary Is So OCD, It Has To Organize Its Words A to Z.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
The Difference Between Darkness and Light Is Like Night & Day
of 46 votes, 17% like it
The Difference Between Sunset and Sunrise is Like Night and Day.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
The Double Edged Sword-Pen is the Mightiest Weapon Known to Man
of 42 votes, 21% like it
The Earth Is Shedding Layers Due To Global Warming.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
The Easter Bunny Dyed For Your Sins.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
The Emergency Broadcast Test Is My Late-Night Television Nemesis
of 27 votes, 19% like it
THE END (of this sentence) IS NEAR!
of 89 votes, 39% like it
The Eyes on the Back of My Head Are Near-Sighted.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
The Eyes on the Back of My Head Need Glasses.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
The Fall of the Roman Empire Happened Because Of a Banana Peel.
of 74 votes, 36% like it
The Fastest Way To Make Your Dreams Come True Is By Going Insane.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
The FBI Bugs Me
of 192 votes, 33% like it
The Freedom To Run Naked In Public Isn't Appreciated By Babies.
of 41 votes, 37% like it
The Friendship Between Butts And Chairs Is Pretty One-Sided.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
The Fruits Of Labor Taste Sweaty.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
The Golden Age Was Truly The Golden Age Of Ages.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
The Grammar Police Won't Not Leave Me Alone!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
The Heart Is The Capital City Of Your Body's State.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
The Heimlich Maneuver Sounds Like It Involves Your Tongue.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
The Human Race Is Due For A Good Spanking From Mother Nature.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
The Internet Ruined My Advantage Of Knowing Lots Of Useless Info.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
The Internet Ruined My Advantage Of Knowing Lots Of Useless Info.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
The Invention Of Electricity Has Saved The Lives Of Many Candles.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
The Karma Of Orbiting: What Goes Around Comes Around.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
The Lame Cliche Is Dead. Long Live The Lame Cliche!
of 32 votes, 9% like it
The Last Leg Of A Journey Gets Tricky Around The Ankle.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
The Lottery Seems So Easy To Win From Other Countries Online.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
The Magic Bullet Theory Makes Sense If A Wizard Shot It.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
The Mainstream Needs To Be Damned.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
The McCoys Have Been Keepin' It Real For Longer Than You.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth. But Jocks Will Steal The Land.
of 26 votes, 4% like it
The Middle Ages Were Not Nearly As Fun As The Teen Ages.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
The Miss Universe Pageant Is Fixed, I Never See An Alien Win.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
The Moon Is The Butt Of Too Many Tasteless Jokes.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
The Moon Stays Up Way Too Late Every Night.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
The More You Like To Color, The More A Crayon Loses Its Head.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
The Morning Comes Too Soon When You Dance The Night Away.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
The Most Painful Equation Of All Is The Dreaded Square Root Canal
of 29 votes, 31% like it
The Notion That Everything's Been Done Before Is So Unoriginal.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
The Ocean Has Gigantic Mussels.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
The Ocean Is Tired Of Everyone Sailing On Its Head.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
The Older The Earthquake, The More It Tremors.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
The Older You Get, The Less The Pen15 Club Gets Together.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
The Ol’ Shave And Haircut Videogame Was Only 2-Bits.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
The Online World Is Virtually The Same As The Real One.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
The Only Doctor That Skeletons Need To See Are Bone Specialists.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
The Only Downward Spiral I Like To Be On Is A Water Slide.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
The Only Fights I've Been In Involve Life Bars and Super Moves.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
The Only Gun Fights I Enjoy Involve Light Zappers.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
The Only Hotels Worth Reading Are The Ones Already Booked.
of 52 votes, 8% like it
The Only Illegal Aliens I Fear Carry Rayguns.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
The Only Kind Of Studying I Enjoy Are Sleep Studies.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
The Only One That Knows More Useless Info Than Me Is The Internet
of 18 votes, 28% like it
The Only Position In Sports I Excel At Is Fetal.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
The Only Resort I Can Afford To Go To Is A Last One.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
The Only Thing Better Than A Treat Is a Retreat.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
The Only Time I Pickpocket Is When Kangaroos Are Around.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
The Only Time I Push People To Get High Is By The Swing Sets.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
The Only Way To Catch An Eletric Eel Is With a Lightning Rod.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
The Onomatopoeia Association Fully Supports The Big Bang! Theory.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
The Onomatopoeia Business Is Alive and Booming.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
The Onomatopoeia Business is Booming!
of 34 votes, 24% like it
The Party Animals Exhibit Is My Favorite Section Of The Zoo.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
The Peek Of Perfection Would Be Better If We Could Stare At It.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
The Power Of Flight Is For The Birds.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
The Revolutionary Chicken Flew The Coup.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
The Shortest Distance Between Two Points Involves Monster Trucks.
of 79 votes, 29% like it
The Silver Spoon I Shoulda Been Born With Must Have Fallen Out.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
The Skeletons In My Closet Steal My Clothes When They Go Out.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
The Sky Always Wins When I Challenge It To A Starring Contest.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
The Soundtrack To My Life Would Include Lots Of Slide Whistle.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
The Speed Of Light Travels Faster Than The Speed Of Fat.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
The Students of Ghost High Have Lots Of School Spirits.
of 18 votes, 39% like it
The Stuff That Comes Out Of Your Butt IS NOT Laughing Gas.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
The Sun Has Its Ups and Downs.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
The Sun Is 27 Million Degrees. But Don't Worry, It's A Dry Heat.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
The Theme Music For My Life's Story Would Have Lots Of Banjo.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
The Tooth Fairy Just Has A Mouth Fetish.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
The Tortoise Had A Power Drink And Whipped The Hare's Ass.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
The Trojan Horse Is Proof Animals Can Give Birth To Humans.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
The Trombone Is The Most Musical Part Of The Body.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
The Trombone Is The Most Musical Part Of Your Body.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
The True Meaning Of Life Is To Ponder The True Meaning Of Life.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
The Ultimate Revenge Would Be If A Brain Could Eat Some Zombies.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
The Unicorn Horn Is Mightier Than The Sword.
of 29 votes, 3% like it
The Unicorn Is No Match For The Dreaded Tricorn.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
The Universe Gets Cranky If You Don't Give It Some Space.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
The Universe Gives Astronauts A Gold Star For Effort!
of 14 votes, 7% like it
The Voices In My Head Are Going Through Puberty, It's So Cute.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
The Wave Of The Future Can Only Be Done With A Robotic Hand.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
The Wind Can Blow Me.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
The Word 'Inebriated' Sounds Like A Drunk Person Made It.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
The World Is All Over The Map.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
The World Was Once Flat, Then It Got Round Breast Enhancements.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
The World: Everywhere I Go, There It Is.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
The Wrong Side Of The Tracks Is Standing In Between Them.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
The Young & The Restless Just Have ADD.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
There Are Five Billion People On Earth. Can You Collect Them All?
of 23 votes, 30% like it
There Are No Stupid Questions. Just Stupid People Asking Them.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
There Are No Words Here. You're Reading My Shirt's Mind Right Now
of 21 votes, 24% like it
There's A 36% Chance You'll Get This Innuendo, 33% That You Won't
of 17 votes, 6% like it
There's A Fine Line Between Writing On Lined Or Blank Paper.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
There's Lots Of Cons To A Life Of Grifting.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
There's No Alligators In The Sewers, Just Mutant Karate Turtles.
of 60 votes, 27% like it
There's No Up Side To Gravity.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
There’s Nothing Sadder Than A Lactose-Intolerant Mouse.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
There’s So Many Words, Even Our Dictionaries Are Getting Fat.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
There’s Something To See Here, Please Continue To Stare.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
These Words Are Covering Up My Shirt's Bald Spot.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
They Don’t Make Cliches Like They Used To.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
Thinking About You Gives Me A Smiley Emoticon In My Head.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
This Brand-New Shirt Is Really Vintage-In-Training.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
This Is A Designer Tee. The Designer’s Name Is Joe.
of 49 votes, 14% like it
This Is Written In A New Language That Looks Exactly Like English
of 39 votes, 18% like it
This Isn't A Shirt, It's A Wizard Cloak.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
This Isn't A Shirt, It's A Wizard Cloak.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
This Isn't A Slogan, It's My T-Shirt's Closed Captioning System.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
This Isn't For You To Read, My Shirt Just Likes Talking To Itself
of 27 votes, 22% like it
This Shirt Dispenses Candy If You Make Me Laugh.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
This Shirt Endorses My Support For The Tee Party.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
This Shirt Has Been Viewed At Least 000001 Times.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
This Shirt Has Something Written On The Back. (back) Something
of 23 votes, 30% like it
This Shirt Is Actually A Mirror. You Are A Vampire.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
This Shirt Is Destroying Your Attention Span. You're Welcome.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
This Shirt Is Only A Test Of The Emergency Wearing System.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
This Shirt Is Proof That Reading Doesn't Always Make You Smarter.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
This Shirt Is Really A Retina Scanner. OK, Your Story Checks Out.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
This Shirt Is So Violent, It Often Clashes With My Pants.
of 38 votes, 42% like it
This Shirt Keeps Me From Being Arrested By The Fashion Police.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
This Shirt Knows Magic. 5 Seconds Of Your Life Just Disappeared!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
This Shirt Proves That The Printed Word Isn’t Dead Yet.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
This Shirt Used To Be A Trench Coat Before It Went On A Diet.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
This Shirt Was A Trench Coat Before Its Weight Loss Program.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
This Shirt Will Become Retro Any Day Now.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
This Slogan Is A Member Of The Short-Term Hypnosis Society.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
This Tee Is Only A Test Of The Emergency Wearing System.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
This Time Of Year Always Gets Me In The Mood For A Jewel Heist.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Those Who Overgeneralize Are All Stupid.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Thousands Of Years Ago, History Books Were Much Shorter.
of 5 votes, 60% like it
Three's A Crowd. So Is Five Thousand, One Hundred and Eighty-Two.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Thumbs & Lollipops Think Everyone Sucks.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Thunder Claps Are All Bark And No Bite.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Tic-Tac-Toe: Two Can Play At That Game!
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Time Flies When Clocks Evolve And Sprout Wings.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Time Machines Make Good First Impressions A Lot Easier.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
Time Travel Is A Life-Changing Experience.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Time Travelers Are Usually Late To Their Own Funerals.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Time Travelers Live A Life Well Beyond Their Years.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Times Have Changed. If They Didn't, We'd Be Living In The Past.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Tires Are Really Good At Doing Cartwheels.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Tis The Season To Say Words Like Tis!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Tissues Dream About Beating The Snot Out Of You.
of 64 votes, 22% like it
To Exercise My Brain I Frequently Jog My Memory.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
To Fully Get The Joke On This Shirt, Go To gulliblepeople.com
of 27 votes, 19% like it
To Kill A Ghost All You Have To Do Is Punch 'Em In The Soul.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Toast Gets Easily Burnt Out.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Toilet Bowls Are The World's Smallest Log Flumes.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Toilets Put Up With A Lot Of Your Crap.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Tomorrow Is Another Day :) It’ll Probably Be As Bad, Though :(
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Too Much Experimenting In College Turns You Into A Mad Scientist.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Topical Cream Is An Expert On Any Number Of Current Events.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Travelling Hobos: The Ultimate Train Enthusiasts.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Treasure Maps >GPS
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Trees: They're All Bark And No Bite.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Triangle Players Really Just Love Abusing Geometric Shapes.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Trust Me, DO NOT Take Medicine Balls Internally.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Trust Me, Don't Wear Porcupines As Shoes When Running A Marathon.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Try Not To Judge Me, Especially If You Have A Robe And Gavel.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Tuffets: Awkwardly Rhyming With 'Muffit' Since 1805.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Typing In Comic Sans Is No Laughing Matter.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Underwear Is Always Trying To Get Inside My Pants.
of 48 votes, 27% like it
Undressing Me With Your Eyes Might Strain Your Retinas.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Unfortunately Salad Bars Have Nothing To Do With Vodka Shots.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Unicorns Make Fantastic Can Openers.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Unicorns Poop Rainbows.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
Unicorns With Two Horns Are Considered Bi.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Unlike My Competitors, I'm Offering My Hugs For Free.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Use Your Warpaints To Draw A Peace Mural Instead.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Using Your Mind Is A Strange Way To Exploit Yourself.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Using Your Words Is No Way To Treat A Language.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Vacation On The Internet, We Have Wonderful and Exotic Sites!
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Vampire Hunters Love To Go On Stakeouts.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Vampires Aren't Big Fans Of Rubberneckers.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
Vampires Don't Like Going To All-You-Can-Eat Stake Houses.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Vampires Who Have Garlic Breath Aren't Really Vampires.
of 41 votes, 34% like it
Vegetables: Good For You, With The Exception Of Mushroom Clouds.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
Ventriloquist Dummies Should Learn How To Speak For Themselves.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
Venturing Off The Beaten Path Sometimes Leads To Lots Of Beatings
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Videogame Gorillas Should Not Be Put In Charge Of Oil Companies.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Videotapes Taught Us The Importance of Rewinding And Being Kind.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Viewing Earth From Space Is Quite Breath-Taking.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Vinyl: Still The Only Material You Can Wear And Listen To.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Violins: Fine For Classical Music, Even Better In A Hoedown!
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Vocal Chords Are Really Hard To Play On A Guitar.
of 58 votes, 38% like it
Voted Best Person Wearing This Shirt Right At This Moment.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Voted Most Likely To Have On An Ironically Self-Aware T-Shirt.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Voted Most Likely To Succeed At Failure
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Voted ‘Most Likely To Wear a Shirt With This On It.’
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Vowels Are The Wh*res Of The Alphabet. Sometimes Y Joins In Too.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
V_W_LS C_ST T__ D_MN MUCH.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Waldo: A Fugitive Who Doesn't Know The Meaning Of 'Blending In&qu
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Walking To A Far-Away Gym Is A Cheap Way To Lose Weight.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Want Some Sound Advice? Listen To Good Music.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
WANTED: Ukulele Player And Human Beatbox For My Theme Music.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
War Is Good For Absolutely Nothing And Fun Song Lyrics.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
War: Winning The War Against Peace Since The Dawn Of Man.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
WARNING: Deconstruction Site. Men At Work Thinking Really Hard.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
WARNING: I Like To Issue False Warnings For Attention.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
WARNING: i like to issue false warnings.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
WARNING: Nooses Can Be A Choking Hazard.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
WARNING: Squeezing Your Neck Is A Choking Hazard.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
Warp Speed Tends To Bend Me The Wrong Way.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Watch Out For Jailbirds, They're Always A Flight Risk.
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Watch Out, Someone Cut My Brakes And I Can't Stop Moving!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Watch Your P's and Q's or Else They Might _uickly Esca_e.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Watching A Trojan Horse Race Isn't That Exciting.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Watching The Sun Come Up Is An Enlightening Experience.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Water Is A Master Of Liquid, Solid And Vapor Disguises.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Water Is Keeping The Entire Boating Industry Afloat.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Water Is Nature's Transformer!
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Water Slides Would Make Great Wintertime Popsicles.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Waxing Nostalgic Makes All Of Your Memories Shiny.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
We All Have A Dark Side To Us. Mine's A Shadow.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
We Must Stop Global Warming Before It Murders All Our Popsicles!
of 50 votes, 36% like it
We'd Be A Match Made In Heaven If I Wasn't Going To Hell.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve Greatly Increases Laundry Bills
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Well-Read Pamphlets Get Frequent Flier Miles.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
What Did The One Rhetorical Question Say To The Other?
of 32 votes, 38% like it
What Do Zombies, Ghosts And Monsters Wear On Halloween?
of 20 votes, 10% like it
What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You. Just Everybody Else.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
What's Your Favorite Thing? Hey, Mine Too!
of 50 votes, 32% like it
What's Your Sign? Mine Is 'Proceed With Caution.'
of 37 votes, 24% like it
What's Your Thoughts On People Having Too Many Opinions Nowadays?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Whatever Floats My Boat Is Usually Water.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
What’s Your Thoughts On People Having Too Many Opinions?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
When Birds Don't Have Set Plans, They Just Wing It.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
When Black Holes Dirty Up The Universe, It Takes A Meteor Shower.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
When Brainstorming Remember To Wear Your Raincoat And Galoshes.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
When Candles Work For Too Long They Feel All Burned Out.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
When Candles Work For Too Long They Get All Burned Out.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
When DJs Pass Away, They Keep Spinning In Their Graves.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
When Elephants Go On Trips They Pack Everything In Their Trunk.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
When Elephants Go On Trips They Pack Everything In Trunks.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
When Exclamation Points Get Depressed, They Turn Into Periods.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
When Fish Gain Weight, They Tip Their Own Scales.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
When Fishing For Compliments, I Wear This Shirt To Reel Them In.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
When I Get Thirsty I Just Stick A Straw Into A Rain Cloud.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
When I Grow Up I Wanna Be A Plastic Instrument Rock Star!
of 35 votes, 20% like it
When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Closer To The Sun.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
When I Spy On My Bed, I Tend To Go Under Cover.
of 59 votes, 25% like it
When I Stop Racism, What Should I Say To It?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
When I Want A Change Of Pace, I Start Running.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
When I'm On A Roll, Only Stop Me If I'm About To Go Over A Cliff.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
When I'm Out Of Lightbulbs, I Try To Think Of A Really Good Idea.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
When Intelligent People Bang Their Head It Really Smarts.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
When It Comes To Making Up Words, I'm The Surpliest!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
When Life Gives You Lemons, Hold Out For A Better Offer.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
When My Ears Start Bleeding, That Means You Must Stop Talking.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
When Push Comes To Shove, A Sucker Punch Always Wins.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
When Running Out Of Time, Start Walking To Stretch It Out.
of 63 votes, 38% like it
When Sizing Up The Competition, Don't Forget To Bring A Ruler.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
When Snakes Don't Get Their Way They Have Hissssy Fits.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
When The Wheels On The Bus Go Round and Round, The Brakes Are Out
of 21 votes, 33% like it
When The Writing's On The Wall, I Break Out Some Crayons.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
When Vacuums Get Depressed, Tell Them To Suck It Up.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
When Walking On Mother Earth, I Hope I Don't Stand On Her Toes.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
When You Have A Song Stuck In Your Head, You May Require Surgery.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Whenever I Spill The Beans I Have To Tell Everyone About It.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Whenever I'm Stuck In A Crowd, I Search For Waldo.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Whenever I'm Stuck In A Crowd. I Search For Waldo.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Whenever We Play A Game, I Let My Heart Beat Me.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Whether Or Not The Sky Is Falling Is Up In The Air.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
Who Needs A Pen and Paper When You Have Snow and Pee?
of 47 votes, 36% like it
Whoopie Cushions Are A Ninja's Worst Enemy.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Whoopie Cushions Don't Appreciate Being Sat On.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Why Can't I Go One Minute Without Asking A Question?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Why Do Onomatopoeias Always Have To Be So Noisy?
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Why Would I Buy A Shirt Without Something To Say On It?
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Wielding An Ice Breaker Starts The Wrong Kinds Of Conversation.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Will ____ For ____.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Winter Gave Me A Frostbite, Can You Suck Out The Poison?
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Wishes Are A Get-Rich-Slow Scheme Thought Up By Water Fountains.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Wishing Upon A Star Sometimes Gives You Invincibility Power.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Wishing Upon A Star Sometimes It Gives You Invincibility Power.
of 25 votes, 44% like it
Wishing Wells Wish For You To Throw More Money Into Them.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Witches and Wizards Have Real Hex Appeal.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Witches Are Excellent Spellers.
of 51 votes, 31% like it
With Great Power Comes Wearing Laughter-Inducing Costumes.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
With Your Help, We Can Find A Cure For Saturday Night Fever.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Wizards Draw Their Best Spells With Magic Markers.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
Wizards Hate It When They Fall Into A Dry Spell.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Woodchucks Aren't Real, They Were Only Invented For Word Riddles.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Word Duels Usually End When Someone Falls Into A Comma.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Words Always Have To Get In The Last Word.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Words On T-Shirts Is The Lowest Form Of Communication.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
Words Reversing Love I.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Wordsmiths Can Easily Repair Even The Most Fragmented Sentence.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Worm Holes Are Proof That Life Exists In Space.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Worm Holes Prove That The Universe Is A Giant Space Apple.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Wow, You Still Come Outside After That Embarrassing Online Video!
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Yawning Is My Body Trying To Win The War Against Boredom.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
Yellow Submarines Greatly Increase The Chances Of Torpedo Attack.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Yellow Traffic Lights Get So Little Respect.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Yield Signs Are So Passive-Aggressive.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Yo-Yos Are The Only Toys With A Stuttering Problem.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
You Ain’t The Boss Of Me! And if You Are, Right Away Sir.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
You Call Them Rechargeable Batteries, I Call Them Zombies.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
You Could At Least Look My In The Eye When Reading My Shirt.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
You Have Now Officially Graduated From My Reading Academy.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Your Shirt Is Insulting My Shirt’s Intelligence.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Youtube Killed The TV Star.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Zombie Dogs Are Good At Playing Undead.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Zombies Are A Grave Robber's Biggest Occupational Hazard.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
Zombies Are Proof Of Life After Death, Just Not a Very Good One.
of 21 votes, 29% like it

Check me out, I got printed!



My gallery photos

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All about me

GERMS! - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More



Link transportation to my tumblr page
provided here...go on, click a
letter before you gotta wait and
catch the next bandwidth!

If you wanna give me a shout-out,
rabble rouse with me,
or would like to collaborate on a
design please email me at:
FRICKINAWESOME@GMAIL.COM!


"Evan is like the Phil Spektor
to my Ronettes. Except he doesn't
kill hookers and he has a more
conservative haircut."
-B7 (aka Ben Foot)



Click here to go to The Official Slogan Club!


100k voting club


A COLLAB WIN WITH POLYNOTHING THAT WAS PRINTED AS AN ILLUSIVE 12-CLUB DESIGN!

historical super 12 club

YET ANOTHER PRINTED COLLAB 12 CLUBBER, THIS
TIME WITH SANTO76!

natural transformation profile pic


My Twitter 365 Slogan Blog, Year 3RD!


BESTEE!





Thanks for the fancy letter acrobatics Icebar!


Thanks so much Bart (RIP).


Thanks Badbasilisk!


Thanks boysbeambitious!


Thanks Ratkiss for making my dreams come true of two clouds sword fighting with a lightning bolt and rainbow!


Thanks helo!


Thanks Ray Frendan!


Thanks Anwar Haha!


Thanks whoever drew this for me, please remind me who did this magnificence and I will gladly give them the props they deserve!


FRICKINMENTOK
(thanks Tora!)



and Frick the Daring
(thanks Zipperking!)

Think It's a Good Idea
If You Check Out

MY 30 BEST-SCORING COLLABS:

Traveling Circus - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

The Robot's Renaissance - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Draw Your Own Destiny - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

The Walking 'Bread - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Honey Moon - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Tin Can Surveillance - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Missing - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Do Not Enter - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

The BIG Apple - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Everyone Loves A Bad Boy - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Fossils Refueled - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Be Afraid of the Dark - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Hot Air Bulloon - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Natural Transformation - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Historical Super-Heros - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Cave-ities - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

The Robots Come Out At Knight - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

End of the Rainbow - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Sees The Day - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Group Therapy - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Garden Snake - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Food Fight - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Punch Bowls - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Poetry in Motion - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Bank Robber - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Only Fools, No Gold - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

Sleeping With The Fishes - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Home - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More

King Of The Jungle Gym - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

Goodnight, Sun. - Threadless T-shirts, Nude No More


MY FIRST COLLAB PRINT!:

House Salad - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever


MY FIRST COLLAB
WITH THE UNSTOPPABLE
FLYING MOUSE:




MY FIRST 3+ SCORE, DONE WITH YOSHI ANDRIAN:

Endangered Animal Crackers - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever


YOU KNOW YOU WANNA
PRINT THIS THREADLESS,
GO ON, MAKE A MOVE!:

Croc N' Roll - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever







Click here to see Papaprime's rat-bastard crook card!




Chelly made this picture of me exclusively with
her boobs. OK, I'm pretty sure she used
her digits, but a guy can dream can't he?


How my boy Harpo25 drew this many versions of my ugly mug and escaped with perfect eyesight, I'll never know. They'll tell the story for ages in his family with silenced awe...


J-Ray's muppet madness portrait of me!


Mucho bravos to the one and only Urbanraptor for bringing this scene from 24: Season 24 to life. It stars me and Jack Bauer, who is interrogating me because i am the only person left in the world that hasn't been interrogated yet.


Alex McDuff surprised the socks right off my feet with this unsolicited drawing of me!


Fun from Christmas Day cleanup at my friend's crib.

Pics of Shirts That For Some Reason Won't Go Through: