Blacked-out is the new tipsy
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
Bob Dylan is my hero.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
|
Braid my neck hair and I'll buy you a beer.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
|
country music blows
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
Crack a window, I just tweeted.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Dear Texas, you are big and smelly.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Dick Cheney is the new Mr. Potter
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Don't hassle me, I'm Local.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
|
Don't worry, I'm declawed
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Donde esta mi pantalones?
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
Egg Rolls = Chinese Hot Pockets
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
Everything looks perfect from far away.
Go stand over there.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
|
February sucks!
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
For best taste, use or freeze by Dec. 21, 2012
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Got Lactaid?
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Have you ever met a straight unicorn? Didn't think so.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
haven't i seen you on facebook?
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
I charged this shirt to my corporate expense account
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I deleted your e-card. Get over it.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
I distract myself.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I drink my own kool-aid
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I forgot to feed my cat and my cat died and I was sad.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
I Googled your sister.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
|
I GOT THE FUNK! (not the good kind)
of 41 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I have enough friends. I want followers.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
I lerve Celine Dion
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
I like my cats fat and squishy.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I like my cats like I like my women, fat and lazy.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
I like my coffee old, with mold on it.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
|
I look better with the lights off.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I spent the night in jail for being honest on medical forms.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
I take a six hour lunch.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
I usually wear this under another shirt.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I was assigned a case, and drank that bad boy.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
I was doing great in college until I met Edward 40 Hands.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
I wish Celine had gone down with the ship.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I would dress in drag for Eddie Izzard
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
I'd only be a cop if they started me with a cold case.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
I'm a bouncer. Let's bounce.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I'm an off duty cop working on a case, of Pabst!
of 10 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm just going to nod and smile while waiting for the space ship.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I'm just your friendly neighborhood white man.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I'm prematurely septuagenarian
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
I'm secretly a huge nerd, and I suck at keeping secrets.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
I'm so old my coffee is FREE
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I'm still waiting for my Government Bailout.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
|
I've heard there's money in t-shirts, just not this one.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
If cars ran on methane, the price of beans would skyrocket!
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
|
If God was perfect dudes would be nippleless.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
Just shut up and drive.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
Keep your towel on.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Let's trade shirts.
You go first.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
meet me at the after after after after after after after party.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
my cat's breath smells like cat butt.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
My food pyramid has a tap at the top.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
My kitten has more foreign policy experience than Sarah Palin.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
My mace is a fask, I'm really Com Truise.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
|
My online persona is way cooler than I am.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
my other shirt is a pale hairy chest
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
My tweets are stinky
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Nice Marmot!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
No me gusta trabajar
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
Nothing lasts forever, except stamps.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
|
|
NYC is Dirty.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
|
on.
the.
rebound.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
|
Only harsh my mellow if you're bringing the Grahams and chocolate
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Pick this slogan, I really need the cash.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
politicians lye
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
Promise me you'll never die!
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
|
PURE NOOB
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
The safety word is sasquatch
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
This aggression will not stand, man.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
|
This is what happens, Larry, when you FIND a STRANGER in the ALPS
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Under this shirt is a really heinous rash.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
Underneath this t-shirt is a chubby white man.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
|
|
We're all here for your intervention.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
Wearer carries less than $20 at all times.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
You take the high road, I'll take the ski lift.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
