How do you like it?

The graphic engages my imagination and then the words disengage my interest. They tell me what to see, leaving me with nothing to imagine.



The idea that fruits hangs from the tree is brought to life here in a new and different way. You've taken apples from their stem and animated them in a way that's really funny and in a crazy way, makes sense. So think about losing the text.



If you're going to use text at least put some TLC into it. This type looks like it came off an IRS form or a mall map. It has no personality, looks ugly, and saps (ha ha) the life out of your rendering.



The tree branch breaking says the apple had no say in the matter. Instead of letting go, he's being forced off. That's a different story, so which story do you want to tell? Get your story right or you're going to confuse your audience and they'll go away.



Maybe put an apple or two on the ground waving to the other guys to come on down, with the one apple letting go (no branch breaking) to join them. Put a "Wheee!" on his face. You won't need words to tell that story. Maybe call it, "Fall", for when the apples are harvested, and the action he's taking.



Put a parachute on him while the guys on the ground are packing there's up. Have the wicked witch picking up apples off the ground and he looks scared as hell while he's falling. I don't know, your an artist, tell a story with your pictures and lose the words, you don't need them.



Anyway, terrific idea, keep going. Cheers!

lose the text and give more expression and i'd love it!



critique mine, too?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/14973/S0_Where_do_we_go_now

i agree about losing the text.

maybe a lighter color as well.

it's hard to see the tree.

I really like the idea that apples are working while hanging from the tree! Try telling the same story without the text.

Thanks for your comments.

I lost the text and tried to change the concept without losing the general idea.

What do you think?

much better.

i really like it.

Yeah, that's quite an improvement!

But try working a bit on the newspaper - it looks too hand-drwan compared to the rest of the image.

Anyway: great shirt!

It's really cool, but work on the mug as well:D

Then I think it's ready to submit:D

it looks much better. def work on what the others have said. maybe try to make the guy on the far right look like he slipping more? his one hand looks funny...maybe put it to the side? just some ideas. Great work!



critique mine, too?

http://www.threadless.com/critique/14973/S0_Where_do_we_go_now

A great improvement. Can you do any thing about the base of the tree it looks poor. maybe you could let it spread out like a real tree would. the tree it self looks very flat and detacts a lot from your design. Give it some grain , a few knots, a darker brown on one side of the tree. no tree is as straeght as your, so give it a

few lumbs and bumps on the sides

this is adorable. i love the leave shapes and the apple colours. i don't think it is quite necessary to work on the bottom of the tree trunk. i actually like the way you've got the grass growing over top. i think this cut off works really well.

as for the newspaper not working, i think it's just a matter of either lightening the black lines to a grey or thinning them out.

apart from that, i think this is terrific! definitely finish this up so you can submit it!!!

Much improved. Very cool, funny concept. Simple but visually engaging.



The design, as it is now, is going to be very vertical on the shirt. Try expanding on the tree so the composition is more suited to the tee proportions. Meaning, you need to branch out. :P



Don't be too symmetrical, no centering or it won't be as challenging to the eye. Most of the action (the hangers on) is to the viewer's right so your trunk placement should probably be more to the left. Put it on a tee and see how much you should extend the branches so it looks good on the shirt.



The tree is simple and nicely stylized but a bit rough here and there. The 2nd branch up, bottom right has a strange bend to it. It doesn't grow like the rest of the tree. It should curve up more like the top right one. The tiny barb on the left lower trunk is too noticeable, distracting from the center of the design. The base of the tree is a bit smaller than the top, should be bigger.



I'm not sure what the apple on the far right is doing. It's really funny that the one apple is sitting while the rest are hanging, maybe you should leave it at that rather than injecting a second story line. You might put a holding line around their eyes so they stand out more.



The coffee cup should probably be white and have a lid on it. (it would add to the humor if it looked like Starbucks, you've got green, just make a circle like there's) It's the little details that will put this over the top. The news paper is a bit rough, keep it simple like the rest of your design. Maybe he's just reading the front page. I've got to say though, it really makes the concept so clear and so much more funnier. A great piece of thinking.



http://www.barneto.net/starbucks%20cup.jpg



You're going to have to show different color T choices, so everybody has a choice. The brown is a little dark, not as light as the humor. A more upbeat color might be better.



You might use a kid as a model for one of your models. Take a look at one I used. Your design is cool for adults and children, might as well put that in every body's head. Threadless looks at that too.



http://threadless.com/submission/145777/Child_s_play/showmore,designs



You might want to change your title when you sub. "Time to knock off doesn't quite capture the humor of the piece. How about "wise apple"? The nice way of saying wise ass and a bit more humorous.

Just a thought.



For future reference, there are very sharp, easy-to-silhouette models wearing correctly colored T-shirts at the sight below. It was generously put up for all to use by idansimpson, a regular designer, critic and scorer on threadless. The threadless models are mostly bad and distract from the shirt design.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/idansimpson/sets/72157602229682871/

...P.S... The branches of the the tree also look poor, child-like almost. once you've sorted these problems out it's going to look brilliant

Thanks a lot for your comments!

I tried a lot and love the tree as simple as it is.

You might extend the limb he's sitting on a bit so it's more supportive. C'mon you've got to tell me what the pointing apple is thinking. :D

Ok! I will.

The apple is looking at his watch. He wants to know when he´s allowed to take a break.

for the record, i knew he was looking at a watch and love the tree as is also. the starbucks cup was a very cute addition and the newspaper looks much better now.



if there are problems with placing this design on a shirt, you might want to consider maybe drawing up an already fallen apple on the ground. (perhaps taking a nap after a hard day's work)

OK I see it now. Maybe add a white circle to the watch. Or not., your call, I'm probably the only one that didn't get it.

oh, is that a watch?

i thought his hand was deformed.

definitely add the white circle.



i love this design though.

Go have a look at the tree in the design called:......................"We is owls...innit" .I don't think you will get away with such a poor specimen of a tree..hope I'm wrong

..why don't you have a "clock-out" clock nailed on to the tree to further imbelish the "story"

"embellish"

The base of the tree is terrible. I have to say that because it's true and you don't seem to understand that

v5 is on a tee!

haha! I quite like this :) The apples are cute too. It's great to see how much you've progressed with this one! :)





Crit Mine?

:-) very cute!

Thats kinda cute. Like the colours. But not shure about the coloured areas in the houses. Crit mine too, please!